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So humiliated!

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  • Trishann
    replied
    Thank you Rachel, I appreciate it.

    Hugs, Trishann

    Leave a comment:


  • mary124
    replied
    I know in Texas some stores can keep you from using the employees restrooms. Not fair but it happens.
    I was in 7-11 one time, and I had to go so bad, (I don't like to go there usually because they are sooo dirty!! even the womens), but-- anyway, the womens were closed for repairs one time, and there was only the mens that were open, so the guy who was the cashier told me to wait a few minutes so he could clean up the men's room up so that i can use it boy, was I surprise-- it was very clean. I had to write a nice letter to the store, even decided to get gas there, even though i really didn't need to.

    Leave a comment:


  • DayTripper
    replied
    invisable disabilites

    Rachel,

    Now, i just wonder if your bladdeer was on the OUTSIDE and this clerk could seee it, wonder if she may have different response? At the very least she could have shown a bit of compassion if they did not have an in-store toilet...i know many businesses share .... and directed you to the closest available.
    I am so sorry you ended up wetting yourself. I am incontienent, and although i have become more acustom to the emotional side, it still effects me. At least though i am seated so not so visable.

    I am in a wheel chair and it is curious to me the social/human differences whenn ones disbility is visible. I am amazed the curtosy i am shown, a far cry form waht you happend yetsreday.

    Although our ADA act has enabled me to have access , it does not havev to actually be dignified, many places i have to be excorted through alley ways and kitchens to get to the table.
    One goot thing (or bad! LOL) thata i can have first hand view how clean the kitchen is! LOL)

    Twenty years ago when my son was threee we started on a road trip in the wee morning hours.... scooping him into the car without potty first... he snuggled in the car and when he woke a couple hours later he was in dire need for the potty... in a small town off the interstate i found a laundromat where a grand mother type was tending, asked for him to use the potty.... she was beyond rude and not potty in sight. I had even offerd to pay...still no....
    well i had him PEE on the BUILDINGas we left!! LOL LOL <grin!>

    I understand how difficult having to advocate for yourself when you feeel so poorly, but do what you can. I find using a calm tone with powerful wording goes far, then telling them i would gladly change places and hope they never need the handicap spot(or whatever )

    I think calling the manager/ownerr is definately in order.
    Good luck and let us know how it goes.
    daytripper

    Leave a comment:


  • RAS6
    replied
    Link to ARA website

    Originally posted by Trishann
    Rachel, if you remember the website that you found the information can you give it to us. I do live in Illinois and it will be good to have something if I ever face with this situation.
    Here is the Amercan Restroom Association's website. There is LOTS of info there and I did find the entire list of states with restroom access laws there as well as stipulations (whether you need an ID card, etc.)
    Hope this helps!
    http://www.americanrestroom.org/

    Leave a comment:


  • topcop229
    replied
    Rachel,
    I am so very sorry that you had to deal with such an insensitive, inhumane person. You are certainly doing the right thing by complaining all the way up the food chain.

    I had a thought and am just wondering...even if certain states have the right to refuse bathroom access, aren't businesses required to accommodate disabled persons due to the Americans with Disablities Act? You know, most of the larger stores you go into have to have ramps and elevators and such...so if IC qualifies as a disability, it would seem that bathroom access would be OUR accommodation. Just a thought..

    Leave a comment:


  • Trishann
    replied
    Rachel, if you remember the website that you found the information can you give it to us. I do live in Illinois and it will be good to have something if I ever face with this situation.

    You know Rachel, you are not just fighting for yourself, you are fighting for all of us. And I just want to say thank you very much.

    Hugs, Trishann

    Leave a comment:


  • SrMaggie
    replied
    I was at a department store a few weeks ago with my sil. As we approached the bathroom, there was a man sitting outside with a mop and bucket. He told us we couldn't go in because he was waiting to clean the room. I was ready to pass out. I said, "Sir, I have a disease. I have to use it now!" - he told me to go in. Several more women followed me in. And there the cleaning man sat. I thanked him, but he seemed content to stay on the bench.
    I find that difficult - a man cleaning the women's bathroom during the day. He didn't even know where to direct us to the next closest one.

    A similar story occurred many years ago in a mall. A friend of mine had to go to the bathroom really bad. She ran into the restroom and was back out in seconds asking me for a dime because you had to pay to get the door to open. I said, "That's unconstitutional to charge to go to the bathroom." She just said, "We'll discuss the constitutionality later, gimme the dime!"

    Leave a comment:


  • Berkshire Road
    replied
    The law in New York does not require anyone to provide bathroom access, but I've actually found it pretty easy to navigate the city, bathroom-wise.

    First of all, there is a fast food joint on every other corner; all the chains, at least, have public bathrooms, and the little mom-and-pops, the little bodegas, are pretty likely to let you go if you ask, even if the bathroom is not for public use. I attribute this to the fact that most of these proprietors are immigrants, and have not yet caught on to the American version of customer "service." LOL.

    Another great source for bathrooms in NYC is the hotels. Most of the big hotels have bathrooms in their lobbies. If you look reasonably respectable and you act like you belong there, you'll never get stopped. Museums. You may have to pay to entrance price, but it may also be worth it. Movie theaters. They are all over, and some of them have bathrooms that are before the ticket taker gets you. Big Stores. All the big department stores have customer bathrooms, and there are more and more of them. Penn Station, Grand Central Station, and the Port Authority.


    Those were all off the top of my head; I may remember a few other tricks.

    I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You have nothing to be embarassed about. I think I would have insisted on seeing the manager right then and there, but you did all you could with that horrible spasm.

    I had a good experience recently. I was in our local pharmacy, which actually does have a sign saying "We do not have a public restroom." Well, I had to go, so I asked the clerk, mentioning the bladder disease, and she took me right back there. I actually ran into the manager back there (not in the bathroom!) and he asked me what I thought I was doing (this was on my way out), and I told him Debbie said I could use the bathroom because I have a bladder disease. He just looked at me for a minute and then said, "Oh. OK." Of course, this guy is making tens of thousands of dollars a year on my prescriptions; he damn well ought to let me use his stinky little toilet! So not everyone is horrible.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bessie
    replied
    Tiggergal.....that was a good one

    Leave a comment:


  • Judith56
    replied
    I am sorry this happened to you. I do however work in retail and where I live stores have the right to deny bathroom access. In fact in on of the pharmacy's in town they have a sign stating that they do not have a public restroom. In my store we do not promote the fact that we have a restroom, but if a customer asks then we do let them use it. I do caution them though that it is not a public bathroom and it is not up to those standards. Because it is in the basement, when we close off the basement for the night or if the basement is closed for other reasons then we do not let customers use it, They may have a good reason for no access- it maybe in part of the store where they dont want customers going through, such as having stuff in the way so if someone were to trip and hurt themselves then the store would be libel and open for a law suit. They may have had trouble in the past with letting the public use the bathroom. So while I do understand where you are coming from, I just want to shed some light on what maybe the reasons for the store not letting you use it. They say there are two sides to every story. Do pursue gettting to the bottom of it, but also check out the laws in NY. Good luck!

    Leave a comment:


  • RAS6
    replied
    Oh tiggergal! You give me so much inspiration to be gutsy! I love it!
    -Rachel

    Leave a comment:


  • tigger_gal
    replied
    Ras6, when I was denied using the rest room at the utility company, and had my card. I was very upset and walked away, they asked me are you paying your bill. I told them no! I will mail it at my convience.

    Leave a comment:


  • RAS6
    replied
    Thanks Danica! So glad you found this site. It has been a life saver for me!
    Hope that you find relief soon as well.
    -Rachel

    Leave a comment:


  • Danica
    replied
    I'm ordering my Travel John tonight...Rachel, I am so sorry for the lack of consideration another human being could have on someone in need. It really makes me sad. You MUST stay strong though and not let it defeat you. Take charge. I learned a lesson tonight reading your message. I must too prepare myself for such an event and therefore am ordering my Travel John tonight and placing it amongst the First Aid supplies in my trunk. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. Be well

    Leave a comment:


  • RAS6
    replied
    Found more info...

    I looked around online somemore and found out that Michagan, Maryland, and Illinios all have laws requiring businesses to allow customers with medical conditions (and in some cases pregnant customers as well) to use the employee toilets, given they can produce a restroom access card, or Doctor's note or prescription. It looks like Texas will be next. I also found out about an organization called the American Restroom Association. They have some interesting stories there and sample letters that patients, Doctors, and other advocates have written to businesses, lawmakers, etc. So I feel like I have a good place to start now. I do wish I had my restroom access card today, I think it would have made a difference, at least when I talk to the manager and the company's customer service center. I had waited untill I had the money to buy several things at once. I should have gotten one a long time ago. But I will have one soon. And I am really heated up about this. It is so unfair to further dehumanize people dealing with life altering medical conditions!
    Thanks again to all of you. I was really doubting myself earlier today and felt quite embarrassed for "making a scene", which really only included me explaining my situation and walking out of the store leaving a cart of items, but is still VERY out of character for me! I now feel like I have the right to go shopping without HORRIBLE pain and incontinence and I am not alone!

    Leave a comment:

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