If I go just on Symptoms.....I have had this for a very long time

[stac7_8]

Ok if I go on my symptoms....I truly believe I have had this for a very long time. I have been thinking lately....

Since I no longer have my "female" parts, I really have been trying to listen to my body. Well I am having the same pains that I have had my whole enitre life. If I had my female parts I would tell you that I had a cyst or that I was fixen to start my period.

My father was stationed in North Carlonia at Campy Lajun (sp is off). Well my mom conceived me there and I was born there. When I was first born I had to go back in to the hospital for a very high fever at 2 weeks of age. They had no idea what was wrong with me. Went away and they released me. There was a huge artical in the Houston paper last week about a bad water supply at that base camp.

So I wonder if the water that my mom drank on a daily basis when she was PG with me could of done this harm. It makes me wonder....

I also was talking to my first step mom...whom took care of me from about age 2 until I was 11 I think. She told me that I have always had an issue with urgency and having to go all the time. She said that if she didn't remind me to use the restroom that I would have an accident. She at that time just thought it was a kid thing u know. She said that I would have an accident in school at least 1x a week. So I always had clothes at the school. I do remember having accidents and being teased by the kids...didn't put it together until we were talking.

It just makes me really wonder if the reason I'm having so many issues now is just because after 30 yrs of falling apart if you will.....my bladder has just had enough.

I just couldn't grasp or get around the fact that all of a sudden my life changed....putting the pieces together has been very interesting.

I just thought that I would blog about it and if anyone has any comments or anything they are most welcomed.

[lili]

second hand smoke?

I was always the unhealthy kid in the family, one thing after another. I felt like I outgrew it from the ages of 8 to late 20's when I hurt my low back. I had back problems for years and then at 38 non stop bladder burning. I was wondering if growing up around second hand smoke had an effect?

[redmowii]

Unending questions.

I wasn't a really sick child. I was so proud when I was a kid that I could hold my need to urinate from the time I left for school, till when I got home. I wonder now, if holding it so long is why I have IC.
I very frequently ask my boyfriend questions like, "Do you think I gave myself IC by swallowing toothpaste all the time when I was a kid?" Another one I think about is, did I get IC from the pesticide I used to spray the corn with when I was growning up. I grew up on a farm, and we sold corn. I pesticided the corn every 2 wks at least, more if it rained. It was in powder form, and you would spray it on the silks. I wore a mask or a bandana always, but it still makes me wonder.
Another thing I wonder about is if it could be from a vaccination that I got when I was a child, or from the non-processed milk that we drank. The milk one doesn't seem to be valid because none of my siblings have IC. Or did I get it from some undetectible form of bacteria.
There really isen't a way to know for sure until science can prove it. The more you think about it, the more unlikely things your brain will come up with of why you have IC.
There is always the most thought and feared question. My family is extreamly religious, and I was brought up in that mindset. I am now not practicing any religion, and often think that maybe God cursed me because it's his way of trying to get me back in the church. That thought is so rediculous, but it is ingrained from my childhood. I always wonder if that is what my family thinks about me all the time. That I have health issues because I'm not active in the church. That thought is always painful, because I am a very spirtual person. I don't believe that God would be that way, but the doubt is always there.