In so much pain

[burlydurda]

So tonight will be the second night in a row that I am not sleeping at all.....My pain and general discomfort have been pretty bad. To make matters worse, I have a husband who is battling addiction. He has used everything from opiates to heroin. I have always hid my meds from him, I never wanted to tempt him. When my IC started getting worse I spoke with him and our GP. My needs out won is inability to get a hold on his addiction. I talked to him about it, and told him how severe my pain was. I have to tell him, I am one of those people that can push themselves beyond what others would consider normal. I told him that I had to have my meds, I only get so many and that even 1 gone could screw me. Tonight I expressed to him just how horrible I was feeling. With all that said, he found my keys, went digging through my car and took about 9 of my pain pills, and 1 of the last few ambien I had. How selfish could my own husband be....even worse he won't admit to it. I had just picked up the bottle, and had a totol of 1 pill, I may be out of it, but I can still do simple math. I don't think I would do that to my own worse enemy....I am at a loss. I am so hurt, so frustrated, and don't understand why God would make me go through all this pain, and everything that has come along with my husbands addiction in the last 4 years. Is there anyone else that has had someone steal their meds? Please tell me I am not alone in this....I am ready to call my GP and tell him what my husband did. I am so careful about my meds, I don't want the doctor looking at me thinking I am going through meds too quickly.

[ICNDonna]

People who are addicted can't help themselves --- until they understand that they can't do it alone. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I urge you to talk to your doctor about him. If you do nothing, you aren't helping either him or yourself.

My heart goes out to you.


Donna

[burlydurda]

Thanks Donna...I know he can't help himself, it just hurts me so badly that I can't safely keep medications in the house. His family blames me if he has a relapse becuase I have medications that can be abused. I just want to shake them and say, don't you get it I am sick. It's not like I am taking pain meds for a hang nail. For awhile I was able to tolerate the pain except for a few days here and there. So I kept my meds at my friends house that lives near me. But with all the stress I am under, my IC is out of control. Hopefully with all my new doctors, and all of the new alternative meds I am taking I will go back into remission. I just have to keep praying and have faith that it will get better. I appreciate you reminding me that he truely doesn't have control over his addiction, and I can't take it personally. Sometimes we need to have someone remind us....so thank you very much Donna....

[Briza]

Actually he can help himself, and when he decides to, he will gain control of his addiction, people do it all the time. I think a talk with your doctor about your medication is a good first step but hopefully there has been some discussion between you and your husband about getting him into some kind of treatment plan or facility. Good luck to you.

[ICNDonna]

It may be that your husband will require hospitalization to conquer his addiction/s. People can become extremely addicted to anything from alcoholic beverages to narcotics to cigarettes --- I had a friend who would walk ten miles in a blizzard to purchase a pack of cigarettes!

Please do talk with your doctor about him.

Donna

[Kirs10]

You are not alone. I have been taking vicoden for roughly 5 years or so now, and in the beginning mine would disappear and I couldn't figure out why. Everyone around me made me think that it was me. I was so drugged I couldn't remember how many pills I had taken and how many I had left. IT was just by chance that I caught my son stealing them from pill bottle. I had 20 in there I sent him to the car for something and we left I went to take some and I had less then 8 left. I was positive about the amounts. I quizzed my son, who lied his butt off, but after about 10 minutes of me questioning him he gave in and told me he had been taking them from me. It was heart breaking that he would take something from me that I needed so bad for the pain just so I could function.
I was very disppointed in him but it was a wake up call let me tell you. I went out the next day and bought a portable safe and started keeping all my meds in the safe. It came with 2 keys, that I kept in two seperate places, and never with the safe. It isn't going to open without the key so I keep the key on me at all times and the safe hidden in my room.
I think that your husband probably needs help that might be more than you can give him. But maybe if you had it all locked up and the key on you it would be harder for him to find your meds.
I hope this is helpful for you.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Kirsten

[Mothergoose]

I am sorry to read you are having to deal with this, I agree get a safe hide it and lock them away, maybe even put it at a friends house, and only get a day or 2 supply at a time and keep them on you at all times.

Cars are not a safe place to keep anything, I realize we need to have access to our meds, but we are responsible to keep them safe.

I am not saying in any away what happened is your fault you shouldn't have to hide them from your husband.

Maybe you could get the pharamcy to dispence the whole script but give you only a weeks worth and keep the rest for you to pick up each week. I know this sounds like a pain but better than the Dr. refusing to rx them for you.

It sounds like your husband needs more help than you can give him.

Hope thing work out for you MG

[burlydurda]

Kirs10,

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I was able to find a lock box especially made more perscription bottles. It can be hard for others to understand how addicition can consume a pers. Your sharing helped me to feel like I was not sitting here along. I know that it is not my fault he got them, even if he was working on his sobriety. I did it out of conplete need, otherwise I would never have tempted my husband. Just like I don't keep alcohol in the house, because I don't want my daughter to look at drinking as a common think. I spoke with my husband, he approved me spending money on a good quality safe, which show me he is serious about staying clean...he never gives me cash for a purchase over 100. I know I could get a cheaper one, but knowing my husband he would have it hacked in hours.

[passion4life]

Recovering Addict

Thank you for taking the time to post. I truly understand your dilemma.
Addiction is a very self-destructive and self-consuming disease. The reason I know is that I am a recovering addict. During active addiction, I did the exact things you described. The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Be very proud of yourself for taking care of yourself. IC can be very painful and stressful. Having IC is enough to keep you busy without having to watch out for your husband. The safe is a wonderful idea. You will have what you need while protecting your husband from what he does not need.

Addicts can get better if they accept the help that is offered. Unfortunately, so many of us refuse. Getting clean and staying clean is his responsibility. There are many treatment facilities and NA meetings that are opened. I pray that he will get the help he deserves. In the meantime, please take care of yourself.

[Mothergoose]

Did your Dr. refill your rx's, did he hassel you, or just understand.

I assume if you are getting a safe you got new rx. and your Dr. understood.

Red tape some times.

goodluck MG

[Kirs10]

Burly Durda I am so glad that I could be of some assistance to you. Please don't ever feel that you are alone in anything you are dealing with there is always someone that has been there and done that. I think that it is great that you had an open conversation with your husband. I am glad that he agrees that a safe is a good investment. I am always here if you need to talk PM me anytime.
Kirsten