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Anyone else feel like a failure with IC?

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  • Anyone else feel like a failure with IC?

    Just wondering.... am I the only one that feels like I'm stuck in a failure of time warp? It seems like so many of my friends are excelling with going forward with their future, whether it be going to college or advancing their career. I'm in the same place as I was 3 years ago, dealing with the same toilet day in and day out. I can't even attend my sons field trips. I don't know about anyone else, but it hurts my self-esteem and makes me feel like a failure, just a misfit, worthless nobody who is home on SSD. For anyone who has this condition and is chronic, knows that it's not a matter of being lazy, but it still hurts. Emotionally, it takes it's toll.

  • #2
    Just remember that you are not a failure! You didn't ask to have interstitial cystitis. There are other ways to stay a huge part of your son's life. My children are adults now, but my youngest son's wife has severe migraines and she told me once that my son is the most caring, understanding man she has ever met. I think part of his understanding is that for most of his growing years he knew I didn't feel well.

    I did find things I could do with my children, even if it was something simple like spending an evening watching movies and eating popcorn. And when I couldn't go somewhere with them, we had sharing times when they came home.

    Sending well wishes your way,
    Donna
    Stay safe


    Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
    Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

    Have you checked the ICN Shop?
    Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

    Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

    Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

    Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

    AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

    I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
    [3MG]

    Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

    Comment


    • #3
      Hang in there, your doing the best you can. Don't beat up on yourself for having a disease you have no control of. Sometimes I feel the same way you are right now, so your not alone or lazy. Hope you feel better real soon!

      Comment


      • #4
        penpal
        i feel exactly as you do and its been 3yrs for me and no progress in moving on.
        I sent you a pm. vicky

        Comment


        • #5
          actually i feel same as penpal does. i struggle everyday with the depression from not working
          i feel the joy is gone from my life
          so many former work friends i never hear from some i worked with 20 yrs- it hurts and i miss their friendship. my therapist says normal to lose friends when you go out on disablity.
          I see also my friends in prime of their career and great successes , even vacations that they post on fb that i cant afford to take anymore. so i understand penpal
          I have two ic friends on ss and one applying for is now- they have spouses and have support there
          i am single and worry about finances on my own everyday 24-7. I was not plannig on ss at age 45 age 55 would have been financially off
          i have no one to do anything with or go anywhere.
          i sit home day after day.
          sometimes just want to stay in bed as depression is so bad. i would say majority of time it is depression and anxiety not ic which is pretty controlled now i am not working. depression and anxiety keeping me back . I have spent 3 yrs in therapy ......... two therapist. one pscy md and tried 20 or so anti depressants.
          times i think of throwing in towel and going back trying to work part time but my uro says no cant do that nothing has changed with your bladder it is same bladder i pulled you off work with.
          uro says you go back to work struglee cant make it and you lose your ss and he says you WILL NOT get that ss back today.
          I must respect his professional opinion as i highly regard hiim.
          anyone else on ss with same feelings I have could you please send me a pm here on ICN or private email [email protected] would love to chat with you.
          I have met another rn on here applying for ss and her and I do email back from state to state and that is nice.
          thank you for listening- you are only people that understand IC and how it brings you to SS even though I tried so hard working full time 25 yrs and at age 45 could no longer give my employer consistent employment so I resigned before i used up all fmla time.............. i was not going down being terminated so i resigned no jobs in hospital i could do with my ic. only 12 hr rn job cant stand 12 hrs on my feet full or part time with ic not at age 48 now
          look forward to hearing from just even one person please. vicky

          Comment


          • #6
            Snowgirl, there are some options out there for you if you're not able to work full days. If nothing else, there are volunteer things that will get you out of your house and seeing people. Your local library may be able to use some help --- even one or two hours a week/month. Is there a food bank nearby? They can almost always use help. The good thing about volunteering is that you can volunteer when you feel up to it --- and most places they will have restroom access (if they don't, you won't want to volunteer there).

            I am retired now, but I volunteer once a month at a local food bank. For the past two months, I have been doing registrations, which means I can sit to work --- and there's a restroom twenty feet away.

            Donna
            Stay safe


            Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
            Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

            Have you checked the ICN Shop?
            Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

            Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

            Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

            Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

            AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

            I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
            [3MG]

            Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

            Comment


            • #7
              I understand the feeling that both of you are having as well. I am in the middle of applying for SSDI and I am so lonely. I really never thought that I would end my working life at 40 years old. I am married but my job was a big help to our income. I also felt good being able to work, I sometimes just sit and cry because I am so depressed about this. I know right now that I am not even able to volunteer. It is something that I will keep in mind for the future though. I wish I had some ideas to help others with this, but all I can offer is the fact that you are not alone.

              Sandra
              Link to the patient information, everything from What is IC? to Disability
              http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

              American Urological Association Clinical Guideline
              Diagnosis and Treatment of Intersitial Cysitis/Painful Bladder Syndrom
              http://www.auanet.org/content/guidel...ent_ic-bps.pdf

              Comment


              • #8
                Yes, I used to feel like this all the time. Exspecially around the holidays. Used to do so much baking for Thanksgiving and Christmas to where this last year I just finally said enough with it. No one appreciated it anyway so why do all that hard work? things really used to get me down when Iwas told how worthless my life has been. No marriage, no dating (well, once if that really counts as dating), no kids, no job. I've sort of gotten to the point where I am me and take me or leave me. This is my life. They are the cards I was delt. Guess I sort of have the Dirty Harry thinking way now. I do explode and explode big time BUT if left alone I am nice and peaceful like a cat. I do believe this type of feeling is one of the many many hills we have to climb alone and get to the top where we just don't care what others say anymore, you know?
                When I finally got my SSI (only took 3 months for it too) I don't know how many times I heard "You didn't earn it. you never worked".Not a hourly pay job no. Just house work which I guess should be called house fun from what I've been hearing.
                Last edited by waterflow; 06-01-2010, 10:19 AM. Reason: added

                Comment


                • #9
                  No. I notice that these thought patterns are much more predominant in women though. Just a curious observation I've noticed. So, being a man, it's a bit hard to imagine.

                  If it is causing too much stress then you should see a cognitive therapist. It is obviously an irrational thought: there is absolutely nothing that you can be blamed for for having these difficulties. No one wishes IC onto themselves.

                  Just learn to be fair to yourself. There may be certain things that you have more trouble achieving than your friends, but you also have a much heavier burden to bare than them. Living with IC requires a very strong personality. Some days an IC sufferer pushes through more pain in just that day than what most people experience in a whole year. Be proud of yourself for what you are doing, and grow stronger so that you can learn to kick IC right on the -ss.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by reesper View Post
                    No. I notice that these thought patterns are much more predominant in women though. Just a curious observation I've noticed. So, being a man, it's a bit hard to imagine.
                    Hope that no one thought that was sexist, by the way. It's just that females seem to turn frustration more inward and against themselves and get depressed while males seem to turn frustration more outward and against other people and get angry. Obviously an overgeneralization, but it's just what I have experienced. Both are equally irrational. I know that I've taken my anger out irrationally against other people and objects far too many times...

                    I sometimes get feelings of hopelessness when I'm in pain, but I just think back to the long stretches where I felt so normal that I started to even forget that I had IC and begin to slack off on my medicine. I tell myself that this pain will be over soon, to toughen up and take it as a test of willpower to make myself a stronger person, and that in no time I'll be symptom-free once again and all back to normal (until the next one hits at least).

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