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Getting married - need advice

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  • Getting married - need advice

    I wasn't sure where to post this. But I really need some guidance from some of you who have gone this route before me. I have IC. It is not a horrible case. I just deal with urgency, burning, and pain. The pain is manageable most times but every few months it just gets out of control.

    I am getting married soon and I am worrying about our honeymoon. I don't want to give too much info here, but we haven't slept together yet. And I am scared to death that I am going to flare on our honeymoon. I know that for some newlyweds, they get urinary tract infections alot.

    So I was just wondering some tips on how to be careful not to get an infection and also what to do to avoid a flare during that time. I was even wondering if maybe I should see if my uro would give me antibiotics to take w/ me just in case I got an infection. But antibiotics seem to make me flare too. SO I just don't know what to do.

    Sorry to ramble. I just really need someone to tell me how I should proceed. Thanks for listening.

  • #2
    I don't have any answers to your questions, just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS!!!
    dx: Spastic Bladder, chronic hematuria (that went away?), kidney stone... possible IC

    Medical History:
    c-sections: 1988, 1991, 1997
    Viral Arthritis 1998 (Like RA, but went away!! )
    Pterygium & Dry Eyes since 2005
    Hysterectomy (Fibroids) 2006


    Me & Jerry ~ Sammy & Ryan


    • #3
      I would suggest discussing your UTI concern with your URO. Perhaps he/she could prescribe you a prophylactic antibiotic to take after intercourse.

      Other than that about the only other suggestion is to make sure you follow all of the 'rules' for preventing a UTI; cleaning front to back, shower before/after sex, avoid taking baths-showers only, urinating before/after sex, etc.
      I'm sure others will post to share their experiences/suggestions.

      Hopefully you'll get all of you concerns addressed so you can relax between now and your wedding date.

      (o.O )
      (> < ) This is Bunny. He's on his way to world domination.


      • #4
        I always take a bath or wash up really good after having sex..I also take Azo yeast guard before and after sex.. You can also start taking these a couple of days before..If you can stand latex using a rubber will also keep infections away..
        I hope you have a long and happy marriage

        ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!

        Link to Patient Handbook:

        Diet Reference Sheet:

        Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

        Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

        Meds I have Tried:
        Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
        Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
        Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

        Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
        Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

        Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.

        ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.


        • #5
          I get UTIs from intercourse - used to anyway, before I started taking an antibiotic after sex each time. But, some of the things I read about and tried include ---- drinking water before and after sex and showering before and after. During intercourse bacteria can get "pushed" up into the urethra. Making sure you pee right after sex helps flush bacteria out of the urethra.

          Diagnosed August 2001

          Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)

          Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)

          I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.


          “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl

          “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian Tracy


          • #6
            Where are you going on your honeymoom? If it's out of the country I think maybe you should try to get an antibiotic to have on hand just in case. You might have to really work hard to convince your doctor to prescribe them, but it'd be worth it. Or you can take some over the counter AZO with you to take away the burning feeling. I get really naseaus from those pills though.


            • #7
              Thank you all for your kind replies. We are staying in the states for our honeymoon. I am going to just talk to my uro about this and see what he recommends. But I think I will definitely have AZO yeast and UTI help available. Thanks again for caring enough to answer my kind of strange questions.


              • #8

                I've had IC since age 19 and I've only had one UTI ever---after being in the hospital. My mom told me to always get up and pee after sex (not a problem when you have IC and always gotta go!).

                I do tend to get yeast infections and have accidently passed them to my poor husband. I've noticed that being in a swimming pool gives me yeast infections almost 100% of the time. Anybody else have this? I wonder if all the chemicals in the water kill the "good" bacteria & allow the yeast to take over???? I did an internship at a facility that practiced aquatic therapy and after 3 months I had to say, "no more pool" for me b/c I couldn't stand it. My supervisor was annoyed! Like EW! Who wants to swim in a pool with me when I have a yeast infection. Ick!! I don't think she believed me.....anyway.....

                Eating yogurt irritates my bladder so instead I take acidophilus every day and it keeps a healthy supply of "good" bacteria down there to prevent the yeast from taking over. It's a cheap way to help prevent them.

                I didn't know about AZO yeast! Ladies, do you use this product to prevent or "after the fact?"

                I hope you're not so nervous about UTI's and yeast infections that you can't enjoy your wedding night! I agree that you should talk to your doctor about this and perhaps if you have some strategies in mind beforehand you can relax and enjoy yourself.

                Congratulations and many wishes for a happy marriage! God bless.
                Lee Ann
                Current Rx Meds:
                Atarax, Ditropan, Elmiron
                Prior to pregnancy: The above 3 meds PLUS Neurontin, Topamax, Loratadine, continuous OrthoCyclen, Lidocaine Patches PRN, Temazepam PRN, & Vicodin PRN
                Hooray for babies!
                Misc. lifesavers: Hot baths, ThermaCare Heat Wraps, Ice Packs. The IC Diet has changed my life.
                Didn't work for me:
                Detrol LA, Amitryptiline, Morphine, Percocet, TENS unit, Interferential Pain Stimulator Unit, Hypogastric Plexus Nerve Block
                IC (Mod-Severe) since 1996

                UPDATE: 5/21/08 Pregnancy and breastfeeding afterwards have alleviated my IC symptoms more than anything, EVER. Most days are 100% pain free & I now have normal frequency (as long as I take these 3 meds).

                My little sweetie! Jack weighed 9 lbs 12 oz and was born via c-section on Feb. 28, 2008...


                • #9
                  Are you just concerned about the possibility of infection, or about flaring on your honeymoon? For some, intercourse itself can trigger a flare, or make an existing flare worse. That's the bad news. The good news is that you and your fiance can talk this over in advance, and agree to begin your love life as gently as possible, until you know how you feel. It can take some time and experimentation to find the most comfortable position for both of you. Or, you might have no problems at all. But I really hope this is something you can discuss with your fiance; I assume he knows you have this condition, and presumably there are other reasons he wants to marry you, besides sex.

                  You might spend some time over at the other site,, to pick up some tips, so you'll be ready if you do have any problems.

                  Congratulations on your marriage! I'm sure the two of you will be able to have a close and joyful love life together, even if it takes a little time to figure it out.
                  Je vous souhaite de la joie, de la bonne santée, et tout ce qu'il y a de bon dans la vie.
                  Wishing you happiness and good health, and all the best out of life.

                  Peace, Carolyn

                  Laura (11), Susannah (12 1/2) and Maman (that's me!), North Wildwood NJ, September 2007

                  On the Beach with IC


                  • #10

                    congratulations on your upcoming marriage. You sound like me when I got married (2005). I, too was a virgin when I tied the knot and I was REALLY nervous about my IC on the honeymoon. We even picked a cruise so we knew there would be a nurses office available on board 24/7. I know you've already booked your trip though so I'll pass on a few other tips. When I travel, I always pack the AZO UTI test strips. if I think I have an infection, I can see first in the hotel room before I panic. If it IS an infection you should go to a clinic or the hospital to get it treated. OR if you have a good relationship with your doctor you can call his office at home and inform him that AZO strips came out positive and you can have him call in the prescription to a drug store where you are. That should work all over the US.

                    The tips the others gave you are great, definitely pee after sex and shower frequently. I also would recommend water-based un-scented lube. Lube will make you more comfortable and it helps prevent my flares.

                    The most important thing is to have fun. If youre not havng fun with sex, don't feel pressured to continue having it. You are married and will have a long time to have sex. Only do it so its comfortable for you.

                    Congrats again!!!


                    • #11
                      Congrats! Like you I was a virgin when I got married. I did not have IC at the time. Sex does tend to make me flare a day or so afterwards, but it is worth it to me. God has blessed me with an understanding husband. I have found that a good lubricant really helps. Have fun and enjoy your life together.
                      I am curious about where to find the AZO UTI test strips. What stores carry these and in what section? I have found that cystex works great for me when I get a UTI. It has antibacterial agents in it along with anagelsics for the bladder.



                      • #12
                        First, congrats on getting married .

                        Along with what everyone else has said (peeing before/after sex, washing, condoms, etc), I take a spoonful of d-manoose powder before & after sex, seems to help me. D-manoose binds to bacteria in the bladder and flushes them away during urination.

                        DON'T force it, if it hurts then stop (it MAY be a bit painful, but if it's excruciating then stop!!) I know it wasn't very comfortable my first time (I don't think it got "comfortable" or "nice feeling" until after several times haha). But go slow. Explain to your husband the need to go slow and use a lot of lubricant!!

                        Congrats and enjoy!

                        (Added by ICNMgrJill on 5/19/08. I am sad to share that Verdicries (aka Tracy) lost her life in a tragic accident just a few days ago. We will miss her support, her encouragement, her sense of humor and, of course, the joy that she found as a mother and wife).

                        Tracy ~ 29 years old with Toxoplasmosis (from birth), Fibro/CFS (since age 13...ouch), severe IC, IBS-D, severe PFD (surgery made it even worse), vulvodynia, hiatal hernia, GERD, ulcers, severe gastritis, numbness/tingling in extremeties, pelvic nerve damage--mainly urethral, urinary retention, pelvic reconstruction 7.10.07 (fixed rectocele, rectal prolapse, lifted bladder, urethra, uterus, and repaired vaginal walls), Raynaud's, 2 severely herniated discs in neck and one in low back, anemia, PCOS, anxiety/depression/panic attacks (since forever). Still having major bowel problems (inability to empty rectum...any ideas?? ).

                        I'd like to be on House, MD as a medical mystery.

                        Married to Craig, a saint amongst men...who puts up with me and my eccentricities...

                        Connor & Mommy by the tree:

                        Connor with happy!

                        I take: LIQUID Atarax, Flomax, Soma (yet again), acidophilus, Glucosamine/Chondroitin with MSM & collagen, d-mannose. MAJOR flare from Cystoprotek! Re-trying freeze dried aloe vera w/some decent results!

                        Tried and failed: Elavil, Ultram, Prosed DS, Benadryl, Bentyl, Valium, Ativan, Zanaflex, Librax, Sanctura (all caused retention among other things), bladder instills (owwwwww!), Elmiron (allergic-throat tightening). Failed Interstim-no feeling in sacral nerves...

                        I'm allergic to penicillan, sulfa, reglan, quinolones, clindamycin, and now LATEX!


                        • #13
                          I just wanted to say congrats on getting married. Im getting married in September so I know how excited and anxious you are!
                          Meds: Percocet PRN; Pyridium PRN. First symptoms Dec 2005. Diagnosed in March 2006.

                          I am the proud mom of a two year old boy! I was lucky enough to be in remission my entire pregnancy. If you have any questions regarding my pregancy, delivery, breastfeeding, or pumping, feel free to contact me!

                          Im on Facebook! Just tell me you are from the ICN. Look me up under Kim Wayne.

                          I love working as a CNA in a nursing home. Started school in August part time. Going for my LPN!!!!


                          • #14
                            When I was younger I used to get UTI's from intercourse now that isn't the problem but I wonder if what is the problem currently may be impart why intercourse increases the risk of infection. Since intercourse now flares my PFD and that can cause retention which increases the risk of infections some of the self helps may lesson that risk somewhat.
                   Katrina sex helps and resources

                            Be extra careful going after sex that you don't have any retention...after going...stimulate your urethra a bit to see if there is any that didn't come out with that first stream.

                            I know others have mentioned showering before but you may want your husband to do so as well!

                            I do think that you may want to to discuss some of your options with your doctor. For me one thing that has helped me avoid flaring is being as relaxed as possible and a simple way to help me with that is using a dialator before hand. My urethra is pretty sensitive so I tend to use lidocaine gel on it before sex so that it is numb ....I also put some on after and that tends to avoid a lot of discomfort for me. Good luck!
                            Faith, Hope, and Love,

                            I believe God is using me. He uses me for God. Things I gain from all my suffering are meant to help others. I hope I can help you too. Email me or start a chat if you like my help or anything. I CARE!Illnesses: IC,IBS, IBD, GERD, PFD, Epilepsy, Endo, Allergies, RLM,Rapid heart beat, low blood pressure,Gastritis,Gall stones,Tendonitis,migraines, Shingles, Prolapsed pouch,ext. fatigue (current problem) I have seen periods of remission and I have seen them end and return. At this time remission is over and working on getting it back!

                            IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
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                            [email protected] please contact me...I am here to help!