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So tired...

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  • So tired...

    Oh, I just need an outlet to moan and groan a little; I hope no one minds. I am hurting all over my body today (and yesterday). I thought maybe it was from standing up for 90 minutes at my cousin's funeral Wednesday, because I usually can't stand up more than 10 minutes without pain. But I talked to an old friend who is a nurse and told her everything I was feeling, and she said, "Duh, you're having a fibro flare-up!" Oh, yeah. Haven't had one in years. I had almost forgotten I ever had fibromyalgia. I hope it's just a flare and not the start of a new round.

    I am still just stunned by my cousin's death on Monday (if anyone missed my post on that, Kenny died suddenly and completely unexpectedly from a heart attack at age 40), and SO tired and SO tired of being tired and sick of being sick. AND a letter arrived that my SSD interview will be this coming Thursday, but some of the medical records I requested haven't arrived yet, including the one that says I was diagnosed with IC! My sister (disability lawyer sister, not English professor sister), says go to the interview anyway, and to expect to be turned down on the first round because only 8% of applicants get it on the first round. Well, considering how bad this week has been, I'll certainly look disabled!

    OMG I just broke off -- my dogs were outside in the fenced yard, and a car drove by, so they barked a little, and the car stopped and a guy got out and screamed, 'Hey, you dogs, shut the f*** up or I'll blow your f***ing heads off!' I had to run down two flights of stairs to call the dogs in, so by the time that was done the car was gone. I'm here all alone and that was really scary! At least I have the dogs inside with me now. Scary. I suppose he was probably on something. God, I want to go to bed but I know I won't sleep.

    So, anyway, this week has just been too damn much for me. I wish I could be somewhere else, maybe someone else... bleh.

    Sorry to be so gloomy. It just all piled up on me at once and I really needed an outlet.

    Thanks, guys.
    Je vous souhaite de la joie, de la bonne santée, et tout ce qu'il y a de bon dans la vie.
    Wishing you happiness and good health, and all the best out of life.

    Peace, Carolyn

    Laura (11), Susannah (12 1/2) and Maman (that's me!), North Wildwood NJ, September 2007

    On the Beach with IC

  • #2
    Sorry you are feeling so rough today! I hope that your flare passes soon. You have had very rough week, and I am sure your cousin's funeral and all the stress brought this on. Hopefully, you can get some rest tonite and maybe you will feel better when you wake up.



    • #3
      I'm sorry you've had such a rotten week. Between all the emotional stuff and your body giving you the finger you need a break girlfriend!!!!!!! Hang in there and I'll be up a while--Lindsey leaves tomorrow. I'm pretty sad and I upset my parents and they aren't speaking to me. OOps, didn't me to take over the thread, I'll be outta here.

      (Babs passed away in April 2009. We honor her memory and remember her fondly. - Jill O. ICN President & Founder)

      [SIZE="1"]Proud mama of a gift named Lindsey who taught me through her autism what is important in life:angel:
      :angel: IC Angel Volunteer Coordinator :angel:
      :) Contact me via PM or e-mail if you would like to help
      I have learned all about life in 3 words: It goes on! :D--Robert Frost
      PCOS 7/85
      RSD 7/94 :headbang:
      Endometriosis 9/98 :toilet:
      Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome 9/99
      Kidney stones--too many to count
      Factor V Leiden mutation 10/02
      IC 6/03 :evilsmile
      Deep Venous Thrombosis and Cellulitis 12/05 :loco: DVT and Greenfield Placed 3/14/08
      "Spirit is an invisible force made visible in all of life"--Maya Angelou
      "Ohana means family--no one gets left behind or forgotten." Stitch[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]


      • #4
        I am sorry that your week has been so bad. When it rains, it pours! Again, I am so sorry about your cousin...I know that has been so difficult for you. As for the freak yelling at your dogs, if that should ever happen again, don't hesitate to contact the police. Try to get as much information about the car and/ or driver as you can, including a license plate if doing so doesn't put you in any danger or in any direct contact with the freak. That way, the police may be able to look around your neighborhood or surrounding area for this weirdo. Also, if freak has done this to other people, they may be able to match up complaints to get more information.
        I wish I could say more to make you feel better. I really hope things improve for you soon.


        "A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."
        ~ The Wizard of Oz

        "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own
        back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with!" ~ Dorothy


        • #5
          Carolyn, I'm so sorry You have sure had one hell of a time of it this week. This last thing with the dogs was just insane! Where does that guy get off doing that???

          If you ever want to vent, just PM me. You have supported me a lot recently in my decision to look for another job; it's time I supported you!

          *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
          *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
          *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
          *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

          **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.


          • #6
            Sending you a big
            I hope you feel better soon.
            Miss Bessie

            Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

            Hebrews 13:2 - Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

            Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life


            • #7
              Claudia -- Thanks for the sympathy and suggestions. I actually did call the police desk sergeant, but I couldn't get the license number bc. the car was in the front of the house, but the dogs could only come in through the back door (bc. of the fence), and I felt it was more important to get them out of danger. But I mentioned it to the cops and they said they would make a note of it.

              Turns out this guy may have been headed to a party my 16 year old next door neighbor was having. I called the cops again a while later bc. there was a car parked in front of my house with people in it, and I was so nervous by that time that I just asked them to send a patrol car by to see why they were there. I live in a real small town so that was no problem. So, one patrol car showed up and looked at the car, but there was no one in it by then. Then, suddenly about five more cars showed up (that would be most of the force ) and they were there a LONG time. As near as we can piece it together, a bunch of the kids had left the house and gone into the woods across the street to engage in illegal activities. Four kids rode off with the cops, but the party went on until 2 am anyway. The noise kept waking up my daughter and my dogs, which kept waking me up -- not a good night. I want to know where the hell her mother was.

              Jen -- We're a support group, that's what we do: support each other! I'm not keeping a score sheet. Thank you for your sympathy too. I just really needed it. This week was just too much for me, and now that my husband is back from California, I'm spending the weekend in bed!

              I don't know what I'd do without all of you.
              Je vous souhaite de la joie, de la bonne santée, et tout ce qu'il y a de bon dans la vie.
              Wishing you happiness and good health, and all the best out of life.

              Peace, Carolyn

              Laura (11), Susannah (12 1/2) and Maman (that's me!), North Wildwood NJ, September 2007

              On the Beach with IC