Why!Why!Why!

[sharon429]

I really need just to vent and I thought there was a catagory just for that but I can't seem to find it now.
I'm in a really terrible painful flare and just really angry about it. I just had my 5th baby 3 months ago and always when I'm pregnant go into semi-remission. Somehow I thought maybe it had gone away. Now I know I was just fooling myself. This really sucks!!! I can't understand WHY they can't figure out what kind of hormones I have going on when I'm pregnant then give me basically the same thing for when I'm not. I've tried the pill - Many times before - and have had loads of trouble with it. Theres got to be some solution. I know my problems are very related to hormones. Oh yeah, I'm exclusively breasfeeding and when most woman do that they don't get there period for a long time. I know one friend who didn't get it for 18 months - Most almost a year. Not me!! Always in about 3 months I get it. I started spotting last month, so I assume this pain is related to me getting my period. I'm just so angry and I'm sure like all of you I keep asking myself WHY? I have four girls and I worry all the time that there going to have this horrible thing. Hopefully by the time there older they'll have found some cure. I was thinking maybe after I finish breastfeeding (which won't be for a very long time) I'll see about going on Elmiron or something.
I've been taking Zoloft for a little over 2 years and my girlfriend made some comment like "Are you going to be on that forever" It really made me angry. People don't understand. I want to post a subject just on this comment. I'd like to get off the Zoloft but it helps me with pain (at least I thought) and helps me cope. My husband was out of work for 7 months and now that he's semi-working again money things are really bad. After being out of work for so long all of our bills are backed up and were in big trouble. My girlfriends keep telling me how well I'm handling all of this. What am I suppossed to do!! banghead Run out of the house screaming. I feel like its not really me coping but the zoloft. I can't explain myself. Now that my IC pain is back maybe I won't be handling things as well as they keep complimenting me on.
I'm depressed that this is my last baby and want another dearly, my Birthday is next month and I'll be 42. With the money situation and my age its impossible. I can't seem to accept that. I should see a therapist. This has to be some sort of problem. Every time the new baby outgrows something I put it aside thinking the next one will wear it but theres not going to be a next one. My husband wants another baby too but we know we have to stop. How can I even think of another baby -if my IC gets worse - how will I even take care of the five I have. My mind is rambling.

I'm just really depressed and in pain. I could barely get the kids ready for school this morning and kept snapping at everybody. Thanks for listening.

Sharon

[ICNDonna]

grouphug I wish I could help.

Sending warm healing thoughts,
Donna

[dminton]

I agree that maybe talking to a professional might help, especially one experienced in working with folks with physical disease. It can do wonders to just know that you have someone you can talk to regularly about whatever you want. I had a counselor for a while that had been an R.N. but went into counselling work, and also had lupus. She was great and really understood chronic illness.

Have you thought of trying the Ortho Evra patch? It works wonders to keep hormones at a more constant level and is for birth control. I couldn't take oral contraceptives either.

Too bad your friend made that Zoloft comment; it's none of her biz! You might want to add Elmiron, see what your doc says. It is pretty standard IC treatment.

Hope you are doing better as I write this!

Diana.

[tigger_gal]

Sharon,
why not go and talk to a social worker, it couldn't hurt, and then you can get all your frustrations out privledege information that cannot be shared wink
I wish I could help too.. hugs
Brat

[ICNJess]

Sharon--

Feel fortunate that you were at last able to have 5 children. I was talking to a girl the other day who has PCOS, and she cannot have kids. She is devastated. Be grateful for what you have. I also have PCOS and may not be able to conceive.

As for the friend who made that comment about Zoloft, that is just awful. Why do you want to go off your Zoloft if it is helping with your pain and helping you cope? I hope it's not because of that comment. Some people are just very ignorant. You just have to learn to ignore them.

I sure hope that things do get better for you soon. Hang in there, things will look up. Just when you think you've reached the bottom a light will shine...it always seems to happen that way. Keep the faith.

Hugs and love,
Jess grouphug kissing

[YankeeCandle224]

I'm so sorry you're going through this with 5 kids. Its tough on me with 3!

I wanted to comment on why you felt better during pregnancy and then flared.

When you are pregnant you have high levels of HCG, the hormone that sustains the pregnancy, or at least one of them.

Its what causes nausea and vomiting/morning sickness in the first trimester, and the levels are real high then, they tend to taper off as the pregnancy goes on, and they hang around longer when you breast feed, until you wean, but sometimes they do drop off dramatically right after birth, causing you to flare, and explains why every time you deliver you go right back to where you were before.

There are also increased testosterone levels and tons of other hormoones, including ocytocin, etc, that are increased then drop off.


Oxytocin is secreted in the pituitary I believe....hmmmmm. I wonder if pituitary disfunction could have a place in ALL these weird illnesses like IC, Fibro, CFS, IBS, etc.

Anyway, thats my educated guess, with a little, very little, remembered knowlege from nursing school lol.

I hope you feel better soon. So happy you had a healthly lil one. I love babies.

Take care, Sandy

[Cali girl]

grouphug kissing

Cali

[darlene]

Sharon, The reason you always feel better during pregnancy, may not be because of hormone changes, but may be due to changes in your immune system. During pregnancy, the immune system is lower, so it doesn't treat the fetus like a foreign object, and try to destroy it. If your type of IC is autoimmune, you would feel better during this time, only to return to normal, after the birth of the baby. Hormones won't help if is what's going on. I wish I could be more help, but at least it gives you something to think about on why, why, why!

[sharon429]

Thank you all so much for your hugs and support. I wasn't going to post because I didn't see what good it would do but it really made me feel better.
I guess I shouldn't be so selfish because I have five children. I thank god every day for that and I know people that can't even have one and I know that there are people out there that have a lot worse things.
Thank you Sandy and Darlene for your imput on what could be causing my pain after pregnancy. I'm really going to look into both of them. Like I said before - I tried birth control pills before and also was on just progesterone which just made me flare more. Is there any way for me to find out about my immune system like Darlene mentioned?
About seeing a therapist. I would go right now if I had insurance but unfortunatly I don't right now. The children finally got NJ Family Care but there not offering Medicaid anymore for adults so I'll have to wait until my husband gets a better job because the one he has now really stinks and health insurance is so expensive. At least there's money coming in.


Anyway, hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Thanks!

Sharon

[jaime15]

{{Sharon}}
Hugs, hugs, and more!!
I've been wondering about you and the kids.
I'm sorry you're in a terrrible flare right now. I know your a great mom cause I only have one and I'm at wits end when a flare comes along and a two year old to chase out of stuff. You're doing great.....I wish I could do more. If it gets bad enough, can you go to the er?
Around here you get billed later and can make payments. I don't know if that would apply to your state though.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!! grouphug

[Dixiefireball]

these ladies has gave you some wonderful advice i hope you take it and best of luck to you and your new baby i hope you are pain free soon.
hugs sent to you and prayers
Rhonda.