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Didn't know where to put this so I put it here......

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  • Didn't know where to put this so I put it here......

    I am learning a new kind of pain with my IC recovery.....I've been on the boards since January of 1999 and I have gone from being very isolated and alone to having people and friends in my life again. In the beginning it was easy because they were just names on the screen. I didn't know anyone personally so the pain I felt was pain for a name, not for the REAL person. Today I am opened up again and so many of the people here are no longer names on the screen, they are real people......and it hurts sooooooooo very very much when I know that one of my IC sisters is in pain. I have been crying since yesterday because I feel so totally helpless, there is nothing that I can do for this person and it's tearing my heart, I grabbed my AA book and did what I've been told so many times before....turn to pg 449 in the Big Book.
    For those of you who know what page 449 says, you can stop reading now if you want. For those of you who don't know what it says I sure hope that you are still with me because we can all use this in all aspects of our lives.....

    pg 449 of the AA Big Book.....
    And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactley the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absoluately nothing happens in God's world my mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

    Acceptance is a total bit*h. Being helpless is a total bit*h. Sometimes know that all's you can do is pray for someone seems like so little but the bottom line usually ends up being, praying is all there is you can do, and that SUCKS.

    I hate these emotions. I hate these feelings. I hate this pain. It was so much easier when you were just names on the screen~
    Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".

  • #2
    I second it.
    I have a hard time excepting things to.
    Life is hard.
    prayers help give me peace.
    Life is what you Make It .By being kind to every one and all creatures your life will be more pleasant. Live your life for GOD and if it were the last day you were alive becausse it maybe.


    • #3
      iunderstand what you are saying when you wish we were still just names on a peice of paper.i loved what you prayers are wirh all of us every step we take .i have to say i guess i havent been around long enough but these names are what get me through the days.i have prayed for someone i could talk to to be a friend.i finally got my wish.nice talking to you dee
      dx'd i.c in 96,too many treatments and meds to remember before badder removed in 2000.pain returned..has since been on roller coster of narcs ad other things..3 suicial att..went into hosp to withdrawl from sooo many narcs and wt. got down to 85lbs....came out eating small amounts ad keeping them down..the only pain med was ultram 50mg q 6 hrs..and gabapintien sorry..can spell..600 mg q 6 2003..nowin 2006-ive had mesh pulled from myvaginal walls 3 timesso pain is severe again but also in rectum now..had to add hydro/app q 4 hrs.!!!but i still pray there is hope..i just need o find it.