Just a ? I always like to hear others people stories and how they stay clean and sob

[auntiedeb]

Hi, How do you stay clean and sober through the holidays? I love to hear other peoples stories. I pray alot and try to get to some meetings if I can if not I will call a friend from the program to talk too. I have b een friends with this person from program since 1989, a long time. How do you all stay clean and sober during the holidays?

[vm]

So far holidays have been something I look forward to - so staying sober during them hasn't been a big issue. I know that at some point that may not be true when I lose a loved one or if something tragic happens around a holiday.

However, when I first got sober New Year's Eve was a biggie to get through b/c I always associated it with partying. Luckily, AA in my area sponsored a New Year's Eve dance and I went to that my first few years sober. It was a great alternative to sitting at home.

I guess whenever I hit a rough patch I try to talk to people about it, go to more meetings, read the literature, and help someone else. I try really hard not to isolate during those times and I try to open up about what is going on with me inside.

Lastly, I always have in the back of my mind that nothing is so bad that taking a drink wouldn't make it 100 times worse. wink

Good topic, Deb.

[ICNJess]

grouphug grouphug grouphug kissing kissing

[Dianne]

I started with "when I get up on Christmas and look outside, it won't look any different than yesterday or tomorrow. In fact if I didn't own a calendar, I wouldn't even know. There's nothing in the sky that says "Hey you, it's Christmas!" The only thing different is the way I view Christmas by the emotional attachments I place on it." So really I don't have to get all in an uproar over the fact it's the holidays and I can't drink. It's just one day out of 365 a year. Later after I had more sobriety, then I could restore Christmas to the meaningful holiday it is to me. And AA told me I could change my perceptions so I decided to change the way I viewed Christmas. I also decided not to spend any more of them with the crazy relatives and branch out and create my own traditions with my "family of choice" instead. It was such a freedom when I gave myself permission not to go there. The first year I went to the maranthon meetings our local club had. Then I started to look for who I could make Christmas better for rather than who's going to make it better for me. The year my brother who shares my sobriety birthday died of AIDS, I canceled Christmas. No tree, cards, etc., I just decided to cancel it and pretend it wasn't Christmas. That really worked for me. Then next year I put in my cards I didn't send any out the previous year as after Larry's death, I just wasn't up to it. AA is really my family now and there's always groups of AA's getting together around the holidays and they are very good about inviting anyone needing a place to go. Great topic.
Dianne in Montana
17 years straight/sober

[Teri]

I have some not so great memories of Christmas's that I managed to screw up pretty badly while I was using so it's almost a relief now to know that I'm not going to be the total *** of the gathering. One thanksgiving I was so drunk by that time the turkey was done they couldn't get me off the table to carve the bird
It took a very very long time for me to get over the caous I caused. And, lately I've been having alot of using dreams and those always seem to help me because they are so real and they are NOT about teri, the happy drunk. They are about teri, the very hatefilled drunk. Having a husband who doesn't drink and the fact that we don't allow booze in our house, in a bottle OR a child, it makes things alot easier. I serve blended smoothies and they go over quite well, with no hangover or vomitting involved

I am SO very very lucky that pain meds were NEVER my drug of choice. I absoluately hate them, I hate the way they make my head feel, I hate the headaches they give me....they don't make me "happy" and I hate taking them but I have no choice. In my drinking life I always said that the only thing pain meds were good for was with a shot of tequila eek

Gezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, the way our minds think sometimes banghead banghead banghead I am so very very thankful that this will be my 17th Christmas sober and that not one of my grandchildren have ever seen me drunk blink

I also started looking at it like Dianne does.......it's just a day, one of 365 days we have each year....kinda like, "K"eep "I"t "S"imple "S"tupid wink KISS~

[auntiedeb]

Wow, thanks for sharing your stories. Congrats everyone on your soberity. Teri- way to go.

Diane- I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. I am proud of you


I so proud of you all.

This has helped me alot too. It is like an online meeting here to come too. I am glad that you all liked my topic.

[vm]

Dianne - AWESOME post. Chock full of good tips!!!!

[Iris]

Thank you gals for posted your stories, they were really awesome posts, and congratulations to each and every one of you for changing your lives around, you should be very proud of yourselfs. Big hug for each and every one of you, Iris kissing angel grouphug

[Dianne]

I laughed about Teri and the turkey. Once at the Christmas Eve Mass candlelight service, I was so drunk I kept dropping the candle in the aisle. I was sitting next to a nun that was trying to keep me from burning down the church. :o Yes, definitely not one of my finer moments. I know it's hard for others to understand how we could come to laugh at the things we did but really it's part of the self-forgiveness part. I am painfully aware of the damage I caused and in fact spent a year doing amends to all of them. I wrote one/day and made 1-2 appointments/week to deliver them in person on my days off and it took about a year. I had 205 on my amends list and completed all but 2 of them. 1 died and 1 I haven't been able to make myself do yet banghead Thank goodness I got all that completed before I got IC! Anyway another thing I did to change my perception on holidays was to come to the realization that in our lifetime we have a few really outstanding Christmases, a few really painful ones and most are somewhere in between. If I'm having a painful one, I just go "well, it's not my turn this year." That really helped me.

[auntiedeb]

Wow Diane, I love your soberity and your words of wisdom. You don't know how much you have helped me in the past couple of days with the holidays coming up. You see My Mom died in 91 from congestive heart failure at the age of 51.She loved to bake and she loved the holidays. Holidays here are painful but you know what they don't have to be. I pray and and I do enjoy the holidays once they are here. I think it is all the hype that gets me going crazy and thinking insane thoughts but I dont have to do that anymore. I have program and meetings and friends to call and to come here on the board and share my fears, frustations, problems and vent to you all about what is going on in my life with ic or depression. You must be one good sponsor if you are sponsoring people. Thanks for sharing.

[tigger_gal]

My husband has benn sober 18 monhts the holidays are hard last christmas eve he refused to go to my parents... sorry bye I am going... he went to bed and was there hen I returned, he did get up tho and sit with me for the remaining of the evening.... I am proud of him. He has stayed sober for 3 reasons. 1) I left him, and made him chose. He choose me . 4 months later, reason 2) he donated blood at red cross and found out he had hep c the bad type geno type 1 its hard to treat and most do not respond. reason 3) he is in stage 2 liver disease.
so you see he has chose to live and to be with me.
Brat

[auntiedeb]

Brat- I am so glad that your hubby is sober. So sorry that I didn't post earlier. Just caught up with me being trying to take care of me and deal with someone negtive person at work. I am glad that it worked out for you and hubby. grouphug

[vm]

kissing I responded to you on the newer thread, Brat.

[glassd18]

Sorry I did not realize this was an outdated post. I must have been brain dead or something today. Thank you to the person who informed me. I apologize.