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  • tigger_gal
    replied
    hi christine,
    I pmed you before i tried to read all of the post (I have a corneal ulcer) I am glad that you are now free from your husband. It took me leaving mine to get him sober. then I returned home, he has been sober for over a year now.... I will never live like that again. the hurt and pain that he caused me is now turned into acceptance but not forgiven, I had to accept it to be able to forgive I am still working on that, I often wonder how long it will take for the trust to be restored. god bless you christine you are a strong woman
    Brat

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  • Teri
    replied
    {{{{{Christine}}}}} YOU are a miracle You knew you were sick and you went for help. Screw him, it's you that's important and we all forget that. The recovery rate for a crack addict isn't very high and it is so very very hard on those around the addict. I can still remember my husbands last weekend of drugging....he said to me "you are the ugliest person on the earth. I don't know why the hell I married you" I will carry those words with me forever. Somethings you can't take back.

    Please continue with your meetings. There is always the chance, the miracle that he will beable to get sober and stay sober. Every day when I look in the mirror I see a person who is just one drink away for death. I've been looking at her since March 29, 1987. Just proof that any ting is possible.

    Isn't it great to beable to decorate the way you want to! I am so lucky because this HB doesn't give a crap what I do. (BUT, painting the steps coming into the basement BRIGHT YELLOW was a bit much. I did it to make people smile when they walked down here and it works) I'm pretty sure that when the high ceilings need painting the yellow steps will be gone too blink blink

    Wishing nothing but the very best for you....and, remember, God don't make junk wink

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    hi christine...

    good for you!!!!!!
    hope you are feeling better...
    i will be praying for you grouphug

    Leave a comment:


  • auntiedeb
    replied
    WTG Christine. You sound so good and happy. I am so glad that you are doing well and getting your dreams accoplimshed. I would love to see your work and painting. Keep us posted on how you are doing. It has been 3 months already? that went by fast. I knew you could do it. You have done good job and praying for you and your daguther. How is your daughter doing with this? Is she ok? Let us know. email me or pm me anytime. [email protected] thanks you have given me encouargement. thanks again. I care and love you.

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  • Jo Ellen Cullins
    replied
    Christine! Wow, you go girl! I am SO proud of you! Wish we could all come to see your work and wish you only the best of success! Jo

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  • Susan Butler
    replied
    Hi Christine,
    I have thought and prayed for you sooo many times.
    Its so great to hear from you again, and you seem to be so strong. I am so happy for you, I couldn't help but shed a tear for you as I read your post and how that God has helped you so very much. If you ever need someone to talk to and I can be of some help, please write anytime, and I will continue to say a prayer for you and your daughter.
    GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS
    SUSAN

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  • ICNDonna
    replied
    Christine, it's so good to hear from you. I think it's great that you are doing so well. And I hope you sell lots at the Garlic Festival. Please let us know.

    Warm hugs,
    Donna

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  • vm
    replied
    Wow. Christine you sound like you feel so much better - stronger and more confident. Isn't AlAnon (and our Higher Power) amazing??!!! Thanks so much for updating us and I hope you continue to feel better and better.

    Leave a comment:


  • Christine36
    replied
    Hello everyone,

    It has been such a long time since I have been here. Things with me are pretty good. My husband is still gone and not recovering at all. He relapsed after 52 days and is trying again but it is not going so well for him. Earlier, when he left I am sure you remember how he blamed me for his sobriety, well at least since he is not living here anymore he is blaming other people and not me for his inability to stay sober. It is always the same story with him, he is truely the definition of insanity....

    I guess I am doing well. My friends in the al-anon fellowship say that I have made great strides since I first walked in those doors 3 months ago. My doctors, families and friends say I look better than I have in years, and to be quite honest with you all, even though I still have this stupid constant pain, I have been able to tap into a power that has made me so much better, so much stronger, healthier, before he left I was not even getting out of bed, that was April 8th.

    I have not spent a day in bed since. Everyday I paint for 8 hours. I am trying to start my own decorative painting buisness. Every year we have the Hudson Valley Garlic Festival in out town, there is food, arts, crafts, music, it is the 2nd largest Garlic Festival in the country. Anyway, I have been working on a product line and signed up to be a vendor. I am very excited because this has always been my dream, I sometimes feel a bit overwhelmed with taking care of the house inside and out, but I pray alot and my higher power seems to be putting little miracles in my way all the time.

    So anyway just wanted to say hello and give you all a little update on my situation. You have all been so kind and supportive during bad times I thought it would be nice to share some good news with you ladies.

    Donna,Teri,Deb,Kim,Katherine,Yvette,Tina,Susan, Jo all of you thanks again for all your help and giving me strength when I had none to give. I Love you all very much and think about you guys a lot during the course of my day... kissing grouphug kissing grouphug kissing grouphug kissing grouphug

    A Million Kisses and Hugs
    Bless you all,
    Christine

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  • Christine36
    replied
    Its been a while. Hope everyone is well. I have been going to alanon meetings and trying to get well. Everything is still pretty much a mess. But I am just trying to stay in the moment and not worry too much.

    I found a great website for people who live with crack addicts. I have been spending a lot of time there.

    Thanks to all of you for you support through this horrible time.

    I Love you all.

    Leave a comment:


  • poetgirl
    replied
    Take care Christine. Just be strong and do whatever you need to in order to be safe. Coming from a family with major addictions on both sides, I know that letting go of someone who is an addict is hard. I'm sure you want to help your husband, but if the situation is as bad as you describe it (and from what I know about crack, I'm sure it is) the only thing you can do is salvage your life and leave him to his. It sounds cruel to do that to someone you love, but by staying, you're actually enabling his addiction to continue. The stress of having to deal with that is only going to take a toll on you physically and emotionally (not good for IC!)so from the standpoint of your physical well-being, you need to leave him and focus on staying healthy.

    I'm probably not saying anything to you that you don't already know, but sometimes it helps to know there are people on your side! grouphug

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  • auntiedeb
    replied
    (((((((((((((Christine}}}}}}}}}Wow, I see so much progress in you and you are so strong and you are taking care of you. WTG Girl. you keep going. Praying for you. Hang in there. There is hope. I love you. You can do it and you are going to make it. Fake it till you make it.

    Leave a comment:


  • Teri
    replied
    Christine~your dr is right about the recovery rate for a crack addict but I have 2 people very close to me, #1 my hubby, #2 a cousin and they have both been clean for over 10 years so it's hard to find a recovering crack addict but they are out there.

    YOU do need to take care of you....you already know that, you knew it before your dr even said it. In the end this will make you a stronger person.

    I don't know if I've told you this story or not but I'll repeat it just incase.....
    The last weekend my husband used, I'd decided I was done. We'd only been married 6 months. He had managed to stay clean for 9 months but "slipped" (I don't believe in "slips, I believe me deliberately make the decision to use} and I came home from work on Sunday...he'd been on a 3 day binge and he tried talking to me and I pushed him away and said "I'm going to a meeting, I don't give a damn if you burn in he$$, I'm going to get better" Actually I went to the meeting to get the name of one of the girls divorce attornies....well, he walked into that meeting and I was SO mad! How dare him come to my meeting. Welp, he's been clean since.
    I got better, became un-addicted to him and he got clean. Sometimes there is a happily ever ending

    sending you tons and tons of gentle hugs~

    Leave a comment:


  • ICNDonna
    replied
    It sounds to me like you have taken some huge steps towards your own recovery. You will make it!

    Warm hugs,
    Donna

    Leave a comment:


  • Christine36
    replied
    I did not write all this last night because it was too long, but Brian(my husband) stopped over last night and we had a long, fairly rational, talk. I don't want anyone to think that I fell for his old manipulative tricks, I am still filing for seperation today nothing has changed, but at least we cleared the air, and I don't feel so upset about things. And maybe he did manipulate me jester in some ways by saying things that I want to hear. But I have to believe that he does not want to die and he really knows what he is and wants a diffrent/sober life even if his illness makes it impossible for him to attain it.

    He knows how sick he is and in what danger he is in. He said that he was going to 3 meetings a day and was terrified about Wednesday(the day his unemployment check comes.)because all he wants to do is smoke crack. He told me that he was almost 40 years old and did not have one clue who he was and how to live his life without that drug. He said he did not want to drag me down anymore and although he loved me, it was not fair to me for us to stay together. Because it is going to take him years to get better(true)and in fact that might not ever happen.

    All in all the discussion ended on a good note. What he said is the truth and I am now trying to let that truth sink in and kill this stupid fantasy that I seem to think of as truth.

    I spoke to my Psychiatrist yesterday for one hour on the phone. Boy "o" Boy am I in big trouble. I am so sick(mentally). My shrink has a lot experience with addiction and he tried to explain to me that Brian is addicted to crack and I am addicted to Brian. He also said that Brian's chance's of recovery are very slim. Although people do recover from crack addition it is a horrible disease and if he does not arrest it he will either be institutionalized or dead sooner that later. Wednesday when I see him(the doctor)We are going to start working on getting me well.(in the addiction/Brian situation) I have been seeing this doctor for 1 year and it feels like I am just starting therapy.We have been working so long on the physical aspect of my illness, and trying to figure out why I keep getting worse instead of better. But I have to say at this point you do not need to be a rocket scientest to figure out what is wrong with me and why I just keep getting sicker and sicker. My Dr. says that if I don't get out of this relationship I will probably be dead before my husband. I am also going to go to another al-anon meeting tonight.

    I know I must sound like a broken record(taking about repeating the same behavior over and over again, huh Teri wink )But these message boards have helped me so much, I can't even imagine what this situation would be like without them.

    And my poor daughter, she does not understand why I am so upset, (Brian is My daugther's step father) she thinks I should be rejoicing because my husband is gone She keeps saying "Mom, why are you so upset, he's a crackhead, what if I was going out with someone like that?"
    She is 16 and I have to get better for her sake, I have been extremly selfish, by staying with my husband for as long as I did. It is time for me to start being fair to her and set an example by showing her you can start over and have a better life.

    Well, I have taken up enough space on these boards for this morning.
    But I'll be back.

    Leave a comment:

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