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Jay Leno, Embarrassing First Date, Potty related

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  • Jay Leno, Embarrassing First Date, Potty related

    Okay, my mother in law brought this home from work. Someone had printed it out from their computer and I thought everybody here would enjoy it so much that I'm going to retype it for you guys:

    If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story rever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake.

    Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.

    The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
    They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
    They were about an hour away from anywher with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
    Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
    Unforturnately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
    Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think aobut was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
    As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
    Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediatley came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
    Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"
    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into her eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly checks from the grip of the icy metal!
    Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down...or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
    Jay Leno's comment..."This gives a whole new meaning to being ****** off."
    Christine



    I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
    1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
    2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
    I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

    I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

    Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
    Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

  • #2
    OMG that's too funny! I've had to stop and pee in some pretty bizarre places but I've never rested on the bumper of a car, and now I know I never will! LOL

    Thanks for the laugh!
    *IC-- Summer 2004; PFD--October 2005
    *Fibro--Fall 2000; CFS-- Fall 2000
    *MPS--Fall 2000; Crohn's disease-- 1997*IBS,GERD, *Migraines, hypothyroidism, GYN problems *Degenerative Disc Disease/scoliosis

    Total Abdominal Hysterectomy--adenomyosis--9\08

    04/17/09 Crohn's disease almost killed me with a combo of extreme constipation from pain medications. My bowel ruptured, I almost died from peritonitis and spent several days in the ICU then more in a private room on the floor. If you have any questions about severe constipation from pain meds please don't hesitate to send me a message.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hahahaha! That is simply hysterical!!!

      I certainly will never lean my bum on the car in the cold if I have to go pee outside!
      ****
      Jen

      *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
      *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
      *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
      *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

      **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

      Comment


      • #4
        I hate to be the breaker of the joke, but that story has been going around since email started. It has been said on Leno and Letterman several times. I guess they are just sweet and not bring attention to the fact that it's been around the world and back. Sure, it could have happened to her really, because the facts are different. I have heard the Connecticut version, the Alaska version, etc.

        Comment


        • #5
          I don't care if the joke has been around forever, I've never heard it and I thought it was funny and don't we all deserve a good laugh. It made me laugh and apparently Sandy and Sarojini as well and that's good enough for me!
          Christine



          I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
          1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
          2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
          I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

          I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

          Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
          Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

          Comment


          • #6
            I promise...I didn't intend to be mean. I am so sorry you took it that way. It is a funny story and it was the end of the day at work and I have no excuse not to let you enjoy your story! So sorry!

            Comment


            • #7
              No, it didn't get upset or anything, I thought it was kinda funny that you had heard it before. I just thought it was really funny and thought other people would enjoy it. We all get snappy though because I know we all feel like crap half the time. My bladder has been driving me crazy lately, been really crazy at work, ugh! so I can relate
              Christine



              I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
              1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
              2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
              I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

              I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

              Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
              Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

              Comment


              • #8
                Thanks for understanding. After I wrote that, I thought that I wasn't very nice for saying that. After all it was the first time you heard it. Now what will be funny is when you hear somebody tell that story like it happened to them...You will have to just smile!!! Unless you are like me and say nuh uh!

                Comment


                • #9
                  hahaha, very true, who would have want to admit to a story like that in the first place though! No one wants to hear about my IC problems, let alone that my butt got stuck to a bummer, lol
                  Christine



                  I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
                  1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
                  2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
                  I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

                  I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

                  Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
                  Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

                  Comment

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