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Sometimes Humor Is All We Have!

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  • Sometimes Humor Is All We Have!

    Pregnancy Q & A & more!:

    Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
    A: No, 35 children is enough.

    Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
    A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

    Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
    A: Childbirth.

    Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes
    she's borderline irrational.
    A: So what's your question?

    Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during
    labor, but pressure. Is she right?
    A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

    Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
    A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

    Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife
    is in labor?
    A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

    Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
    A: Yes, pregnancy.

    Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
    A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

    Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel
    and act normal again?
    A: When the kids are in college.



    "ESTROGEN ISSUES"
    10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES"

    1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
    2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
    3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
    4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
    5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker
    that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
    6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
    7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
    8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
    9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
    10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

    TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
    10. Cats' facial expressions.
    9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
    8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
    7. Fat clothes.
    6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat yourbest time.
    5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
    4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
    3. Eyelash curlers.
    2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

    AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

    1. OTHER WOMEN
    Miki
    Hit and past 60 yrs old. Now 64
    Married: with
    2 adult kids......33yrs male, 30 female.


    DX: about 1982: chrontic urethritis, then IC, then Pelvic pain syndrome. (whatever)

    Meniere's disease, Now 90% loss of balance nerve on left side, inner ear. BPPV, GAD
    IBS (whole life)
    Migraines
    dyspepsia


    Given up going to Urologist...last one asked me what I wanted him to do for me.

  • #2


    Thanks for the giggle!

    Donna
    Stay safe


    Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
    Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

    Have you checked the ICN Shop?
    Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

    Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

    Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

    Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

    AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

    I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
    [3MG]

    Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

    Comment


    • #3
      those were good
      'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

      Comment


      • #4
        ****
        Jen

        *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
        *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
        *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
        *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

        **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

        Comment


        • #5
          Those are great! Thanks, I needed the laugh today!!!
          Hugs,
          Tracey
          How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

          Harry arrived 2/23/09!



          *IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

          IC Diet Cheat Sheet:
          http://www.ic-network.com/diet/2009icdietlist.pdf



          Dx's:
          IC dx'd Nov 2004
          Lymphocytic Colitis dx'd July 2005
          Possible IBS
          Current IC Meds
          Vistaril 25mg in the evening
          Previous IC Meds taken:
          Cystoprotek - 2 caps 2x's a day
          Elmiron, 100mg 3x's a day
          Ditropan, 5 mg 3x's a day
          Others:
          Wellbutrin 150mg 2x's a day for Anxiety/IBS
          Pepcid 40mg a day for GERD
          Zytrec for Nasal Allergies
          Align Probiotic daily for IBS

          Comment


          • #6
            Sharon

            Shopping??? Did someone mention shopping? I'll get my hat... ;-)

            Where I can be found most days.



            Link to the ICN Patient Handbook:
            http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

            Link to the IC Diet:
            http://www.ic-network.com/diet/


            IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

            Comment


            • #7
              Enjoyed them.......thanks
              Miss Bessie

              Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

              Hebrews 13:2 - Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

              Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life

              Comment


              • #8
                Needed the laughter today!

                Comment

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