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  • The miracle of toilet paper!

    THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER


    Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

    Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds"

    Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I asked.

    "They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.

    I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

    Without missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

    He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.

    Stupid, stupid man.
    *IC-- Summer 2004; PFD--October 2005
    *Fibro--Fall 2000; CFS-- Fall 2000
    *MPS--Fall 2000; Crohn's disease-- 1997*IBS,GERD, *Migraines, hypothyroidism, GYN problems *Degenerative Disc Disease/scoliosis

    Total Abdominal Hysterectomy--adenomyosis--9\08

    04/17/09 Crohn's disease almost killed me with a combo of extreme constipation from pain medications. My bowel ruptured, I almost died from peritonitis and spent several days in the ICU then more in a private room on the floor. If you have any questions about severe constipation from pain meds please don't hesitate to send me a message.

  • #2


    Now, there's a man who's lucky to be alive!
    Je vous souhaite de la joie, de la bonne santée, et tout ce qu'il y a de bon dans la vie.
    Wishing you happiness and good health, and all the best out of life.

    Peace, Carolyn
    ___________________________________________________

    Laura (11), Susannah (12 1/2) and Maman (that's me!), North Wildwood NJ, September 2007


    On the Beach with IC

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    • #3
      hahahah, that's good Sandy
      Christine



      I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
      1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
      2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
      I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

      I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

      Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
      Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

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      • #4
        Can't wait to tell that one to Mike! He told me today that I wasn't getting fatter I was just shrinking and compacting. He's lucky to still be alive

        Comment


        • #5
          Hahahaha! I'll have to tell John that one as well!
          ****
          Jen

          *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
          *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
          *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
          *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

          **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

          Comment


          • #6
            What a great sense of humor
            I love this one!!!!
            Miss Bessie

            Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

            Hebrews 13:2 - Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

            Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life

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            • #7
              Can't believe he is still alive.

              Trishann

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              • #8
                me either.. or at least somthing throwed his way.. I have gained a few pounds and hubby talls me wow there getting bigeer,,,,,, and they will go down when I decided to diet.
                'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

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                • #9
                  That is so funny!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    HAHA That was awsome! What a great way to start the day with a smile. Thanks Sandy
                    ***Rachel***

                    Dance like no one is watching
                    Love like you've never been hurt
                    Live today like it's your last

                    Dxd with IC in June '06

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                    • #11
                      thats the one thing about gaining weight

                      I now have boobs!:woohoo:
                      Meds: Percocet PRN; Pyridium PRN. First symptoms Dec 2005. Diagnosed in March 2006.

                      I am the proud mom of a two year old boy! I was lucky enough to be in remission my entire pregnancy. If you have any questions regarding my pregancy, delivery, breastfeeding, or pumping, feel free to contact me!

                      Im on Facebook! Just tell me you are from the ICN. Look me up under Kim Wayne.

                      I love working as a CNA in a nursing home. Started school in August part time. Going for my LPN!!!!

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                      • #12
                        Just saw this! Wicked... wicked... but very funny man!!! LOL!
                        Would you like to talk with someone about your IC struggles? The ICN now offers personal coaching sessions that include myself, Julie Beyer RD on the diet and Dr. Heather Howard on Sexuality. http://www.icnsales.com/icn-personal-coaching/

                        Looking for books, magazines & reports on IC? Please visit the ICN Shop at: http://www.icnsales.com: Your ICN subscription & purchases in our shop support these message boards, chats and special events. BECOME AN ICN ANGEL TODAY!

                        Please remember that the information on the ICN is provided with the understanding that ICN, its founder, staff, volunteers, and participants are not engaged in rendering medical or professional medical services. We cannot and do not give medical advice. Only your personal physician can do this for you.






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