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Things my mother taught me

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  • tigger_gal
    replied
    lol I love this. I have read it a million times and it is still good.

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  • L. Thomas
    replied

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  • ihurttoo
    replied
    Oh, and don't forget, our mothers also taught us about Starvation in China: "You better clean your plate! Don't you know that there are millions of starving children in China that would love to have your brussell sprouts!"

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  • Roxie2007
    replied
    Hi! I've read it before but love it every time it comes around. Thanks for sharing it with us. Roxie

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  • petrie86
    replied
    :LMAO: That's hillarious... If I talked to my mother I would send this to her. Oh man it's like reading them brought back all memories. Someone must have branded these statements into all mother's. It's scary ha ha I loved it!

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  • mary124
    replied
    I received that earlier this week, and I thought I would sent it to my mom. She sent it right back to me with a note, and said the last one I should know about-- that she kept saying that my kids would turn out just like me!!

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  • ihurttoo
    replied
    I had read that before, but I had forgotten alot of it. That was great! I sent it to my Mom. She will love it (and remember saying/doing most of them!) I think it must have been written in "The Mom's Handbook", b/c even now I find myself saying the same things! Loved it!

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  • GriffsMommy
    started a topic Things my mother taught me

    Things my mother taught me

    I Owe My Mother
    **************************************
    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
    " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    And my favorite:
    25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
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