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Labels, Warnings, and Instructions
I was claning out a box in my room and came across an old e-mail that I thought I should share.
-On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
-On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
-On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
-On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
-On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You loose!)
-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
-On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron cloths on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Who's body?)
-On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents of we just kept those year old OFF those fork lifts.)
-On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
-On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(hmmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
-On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As oppsed to use in outerspace.)
-On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
-On Sainsbury's penuts:
Warning: contains penuts.
(but no peas?)
-On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
-On a Swedish chainsaw:
DO NOT attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this!)
-On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Hope you enjoyed!
-On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
-On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
-On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
-On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestions: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
-On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You loose!)
-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
-On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron cloths on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Who's body?)
-On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents of we just kept those year old OFF those fork lifts.)
-On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
-On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children.
(hmmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)
-On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As oppsed to use in outerspace.)
-On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
-On Sainsbury's penuts:
Warning: contains penuts.
(but no peas?)
-On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
-On a Swedish chainsaw:
DO NOT attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this!)
-On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Hope you enjoyed!
)
The youngest is 20 now. She has had one UTI. She went into complete panic that she would end up like me. Now she has some idea of what the pain is like. Poor kid has been forced to know where every bathroom in Disney World is.
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