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Bestt.. noo.. Breast Humor!

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  • whip06
    Thanks so much for that post. It was great and so true. During my last mammogram the technician told me to hold my breath and "don't go anywhere". Excuse me, but where was I going to go? My breast was stuck in a vise-like machine, I was standing on my tippy-toes, I couldn't breath, and I was half undressed! Trust me, even though I wanted to, I was not about to escape. scream


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  • Britgal
    Jill. that was priceless, I had such a good laugh, thanks for posting Iris. lmao lmao lmao lmao

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  • tigger_gal
    lmao..... that was funny as hell

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  • dixiefireball
    Great post Jill. lmao lmao
    Oh by the way thanks for the bathroom humor board back!

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  • ranshar2
    lmao lmao lmao

    I can hardly type, I am laughing so hard. Jill, that is the best ever. Thank you for the much needed belly laugh.

    lmao lmao lmao

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  • ICNJess
    LOL that is too funny! lmao lmao lmao

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  • icnmgrjill
    started a topic Bestt.. noo.. Breast Humor!

    Bestt.. noo.. Breast Humor!

    (We just found this on another website... and it was so funny, we thought we'd post it here! Enjoy.. and I apologize in advance if this is offensive.) - Jill

    This is a cute way to send "the message"! There is a serious
    message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there. Now go out and have your mammies grammed!

    Perfect Breasts

    Fake Silicone Breasts
    ( + )( + )

    Perky Breasts

    Big Nipple Breasts

    A Cups
    o o

    D Cups
    { O }{ O }

    Wonder Bra Breasts

    Cold Breasts
    ( ^ )( ^ )

    Lopsided Breasts

    Pierced Nipple Breasts

    Hanging Tassels Breasts

    Grandma's Breasts
    \ o /\ o /

    Against The Shower Door Breasts
    ( )( )

    Android Breasts
    | o | | o |

    Mammogram Breasts
    ___ ___

    For years and years they told me,
    Be ! careful of your breasts.
    Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
    And give them monthly tests.

    So I heeded all their warnings,
    And protected them by law.
    Guarded them very carefully,
    And I always wore my bra.

    After 30 years of astute care,
    My gyno, Dr. Pruitt,
    Said I should get a Mammogram
    "O.K," I said, "let's do it."

    "Stand up here real close" she said,
    (She got my boob in line),
    "And tell me when it hurts," she said,
    "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

    She stepped upon a pedal,
    I could not believe my eyes!
    A plastic plate came slamming down,
    My hooter's in a vise!

    My skin was stretched and mangled,
    From underneath my chin.
    My poor boob was being squashed,
    To Swedish Pancake thin.

    Excruciating pain I felt,
    Within it's vise-like grip.
    A prisoner in this vicious thing,
    My poor defenseless tit!

    "Take a deep breath" she said to me,
    Who does she think she's kidding?!?
    My chest is mashed in her machine,
    And woozy I am getting.

    "There, that's good," I heard her say,
    (The room was slowly swaying.)
    "Now, let's have a go at the other one."
    Have mercy, I was praying.

    It squeezed me from both up and down,
    It squeez! ed me from both sides.
    I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
    To HER tender little hide.

    Next time that they make me do this,
    I will request a blindfold.
    I have no wish to see again,
    My knockers getting steam rolled.

    If I had no problem when I came in,
    I surely have one now.
    If there had been a cyst in there,
    It would have gone "ker-pow!"

    ! ; This machine was created by a man,
    Of this, I have no doubt.
    I'd like to stick his balls in there,
    And see how THEY come out!