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WOMEN'S HUMOR

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  • WOMEN'S HUMOR

    hi
    We love our men and wouldn't know what to do without them, but for those days when we don't quite know what to do with them some of the following are quite humorous!! lmao lmao

    One day, my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
    sweatshirt.
    Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
    "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
    "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
    He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."And they say blondes are dumb...

    A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you
    the happiest woman in the world."The woman says, "I'll miss you..."

    It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. Honey,what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

    He says - "Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.
    "She says - "Well, you succeeded."

    He says - "Shall we try swapping positions tonight?"
    She says - "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."

    He says - "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I give you?"
    She says - "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."

    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor, or Gay!

    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple, she would grant each of them a very special wish.
    The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
    Whooooosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
    The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.
    Whooooosh!
    Immediately he turned ninety!!!
    Gotta love that fairy! wink

    AND THE BEST ONE YET... A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

    A PRAYER....
    Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
    Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength..... I'll beat him to death. hat
    AMEN
    Carley

    They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.---Isaiah 40:31

  • #2
    Hi Carley, those were great!!! I especially love the part about strength or you'll beat him...LOL!!! lmao lmao lmao

    Hugs and love,
    Jess
    Mommy to 2 crazy, wonderful kids and wife to the most amazing man in the world!

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    • #3
      Love those, especially the last one! scream scream scream
      Wishing you the best, today, tomorrow, and always! Sheri G

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      • #4
        I loved them Carley, they were great, men, what would we do without them, you gotta love em, thanks for posting hugs Iris. lmao lmao lmao lmao
        Today and every day you are loved, so don't be anxious about tomorrow, God will take care of you tomorrow; Live one day at a time.

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