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1 · I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
2 · There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3 · Life is sexually transmitted.
4 · Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5 · The differences between a rut and a grave is the length and depth.
6 · Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7 · Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
8 · All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
9 · In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
10 · How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
11 · Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'
12 · If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
13 · Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
14 · Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
15 · Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
2 · There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
3 · Life is sexually transmitted.
4 · Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
5 · The differences between a rut and a grave is the length and depth.
6 · Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
7 · Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
8 · All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
9 · In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
10 · How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
11 · Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'
12 · If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
13 · Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
14 · Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
15 · Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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