They think it's a big joke

[GriffsMommy]

Alright, I know people really don't understand IC but this is getting on my nerves. My boss and another supervisor on our floor were teasing me about my frequent bathroom breaks. I have explained to my boss about my IC the best I can considering she doesn't want me to give her any detail because it seems to gross her out (sorry that my health problems gross you out, try living with them )
So anyway, as many of you know I'm going back to my uro in 4 weeks and if the Macrobid didn't approve my symptoms then he's going to do a hydro. I have warned my boss about this because I know that I'm going to want to take some time off because I have a feeling I'm going to be in pain for at least a few days.
She says to me "I can't wait until you go to have that thing done so you stop going to the bathroom all the time." I had to explain to her that it won't cure IC, nothing can cure IC if I'm lucky it may put me into remission for a time but it may not. Then her and the other supevisor told me that I need to start wearing depends, and then I will have serenity and poise! haha, not freakin' funny. I am 28 years old I am not wearing depends when I have a bathroom within 10 feet from my desk. I know that they were just trying to tease me and be funny but it's really not funny as we all know to have to deal with this all the time.
You think my boss could be more sensitive when she had to have chemo for a lump they removed from her breast and all of her hair is falling out! Ugh

[Bessie]

That is terrible and not the least bit funny. I would politely tell them to quit with their remarks or you will take legal action against them. That sounds like harrasment to me. I am so sorry they are acting like that. They really need to grow up. Don't let them run over you!!

[GriffsMommy]

I don't think I'm going to go that far. If I tell my boss that it really upset me and I don't like her joking about it then she will stop but I don't think that I should have to tell her, it's just very insensitive in the first place.

[tigger_gal]

when you go to work tomorrow hand here every thing you can print up on IC ro include the pain side of it.. If you have a picture of your bladder show her that. Tell her that IC has been stated that the pain is worse then end stage cancer pain.. She is being very rude and harassing you. Ask her how would you feel is I made fun of you regarding your cancer? gosh this makes me so very mad.
(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

[ICNDonna]

You might want to ask her if she is trying to cheer you up --- and if she says she is, you might tell her that it isn't working. Unfortunately, some people can't deal with serious issues easily --- she might be one of them.

Sending warm hugs,
Donna

[leelee88]

I agree with tigger, I would print out as much as I could and leave it on her desk..or hand it to her..It makes me so mad that people do not understand IC.. You know what I did.. I looked for a good article on IC and pasted it.
And sent it to everyone on my email addy and my good friends even sent it to thier friends and ask to keep it going.. I am determined to get the message out about IC..

Good luck with your boss

[tigger_gal]

Donna is right. you could tell her that her tactic's of joking is highly upsetting you..

[GriffsMommy]

That's true Donna, I don't think that she's really trying to be mean, I just think she doesn't really get how bad it is and she is trying to be funny and make me laugh. She really is a good person, she's the best boss that I've ever had, so doesn't give me a hard time about going to all my appointments.
Cindy, I don't have pictures of my bladder yet but my uro is probably going to schedule my hydro when I go back in a month so I am going to make sure that he gives me copies so I can post them and show them to everybody.

[babygirlh1]

Do you have a human resources department? You need to bring a letter to HR or your bosses boss from the doctor explaining your medical condition. Then they will talk with your boss about it. After that, anything your boss says that makes you uncomfortable is harrassment. You have the legal right to be comfortable at your job. I quit once because of a manager who acted similar to your boss. I WILL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! Good luck, you don't need to be treated that way.

[kadi]

I don't think printing out info on IC is necessarily a good idea at work. On the one hand, we want people to know it's serious, but on the other hand, when our bosses know how serious it is, we put ourselves at risk of being passed up for promotion, not being seen as reliable.

And yes, we can mention legal action, but that makes things truly ugly & can result in our supervisors & colleagues to "prove" us incompetent in order to defend themselves.

None of this is fair. It's awful. But, I find that the less information anyone at work has about my IC, the better. I had to disclose when I was really sick, my boss was seemingly sympathetic, but turned around & used it against me when I was better & wanted promotion. I told him he couldn't use my health as a deciding factor & he set out to make me look incompetent. It was an ugly, ugly scene--one of the worst experiences of my professional career. Fortunately the jerk moved on to another job this year and only one of my 4 administrators knows about my IC. She is highly supportive, but I do always keep in the back of my mind that she knows about the IC and I am careful not to make waves.

Donna's suggestion is a good one. It is a gracious response and it gives your supervisors a face-saving way out.

[babygirlh1]

I agree Kadi. The Human Resource Manager has the letter. No one else knows what I have. If my boss makes any remarks about my absences, I am to tell him to go see the HR Manager. She will handle it. Luckily, I work in a very busy office and everyone is engrossed in their own work that they don't have time to notice how many times I use the bathroom.

[GriffsMommy]

Thanks for all the support and replies everybody. I already have a very simple letter from my doctor that explains I have a medical condition that requires that I take frequent bathroom breaks and need to be allowed to do so. I work in a call center and am on the phone all day. My boss didn't ask for this but I didn't want anybody to think I wasn't being "productive" because I spend so much time in the bathroom. My boss knows that I work hard for her, heck she's always complaining to me about the people who don't and there is nothing wrong with them other than they are lazy. I agree with Kadi though, I don't think I want to go too in depth, there is a job that is coming available in July, not a promotion per say but a different job that she was considering me for that I really want so I won't give away too much. I'm just going to express that this is not cureable as she seemed to have been thinking, it is not fun, I am in pain alot, and I work really hard for her and I don't like her joking about it even though she is probably trying to be funny, IC causes me so many problems I can't laugh about it. I think she'll be very receptive and feel really bad once she knows she upset me. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

[Want2BPainFree]

I don't think your boss would like a taste of her own medicine, so she really wouldn't have any choice BUT to feel bad about trying to make light of a heavy situation.

Certainly the lump in her breast and chemo wasn't a "breeze".

Her behavior is completely out of line and unprofessional.

Wishing you less potty breaks.

[jen74]

Wow, I am so sorry that you have to deal with such an A****** of a boss. There is no excuse for her behavior. Some poeple are just plain ignorant. I would just walk away from her when she starts being rude like that, she will get the message. I swear it is people like that that you just wish they could live in your shoes for a few months and see what it is like.Then maybe they would not be so quick to make fun of someone elses pain. I am sorry you had to deal with that.
Jen

[ponytail]

Take care not to alienate your boss. She may just feel embarrassed about your condition and doesn't know how to handle it. Instead, perhaps try to understand her issues and try to be diplomatic. She might not think she is doing anything wrong.