They think it's a big joke

[kadi]

One thing I just thought of this morning...

I did have to disclose my IC in the beginning, as my onset was sudden & severe & I had 2 diagnostic surgeries in 1 month (laparoscopy to rule out endo & cysto/hydro). I was very surprised at how many of my female colleagues privately came to me & told me that they wear pads all day due to worries about incontinence in the classroom with all the "holding" we teachers do.

Your boss is definitely insensitive, it may also be that she is so overwhelmed with her cancer that she has no idea anything else can be that serious, if it's not life threatening. Give her the benefit of the doubt, go with Donna's suggestion & if she keeps it up, then walking away silently is a pretty good response to her inappropriateness.

[GriffsMommy]

Well I pulled her aside as soon as she came in this morning as Wednesdays she gets here after I do. I told her that I really didn't like the joking and she apoligized right away. She said that she just deals with things by making jokes because you have to laugh or you'll go crazy. I do agree with that, I just said I don't really find the depends jokes funny because it hits a little to close to home. My cousin is pregnant and due in about six weeks and lives about 3 hours away. I promised that I would come and see the baby after he is born but with how bad I have been doing lately I may not have a choice but to actually wear depends if I want to make that long car drive. She felt really bad and said that she will never do it again if it makes me feel bad and I can call her baldie if I want to, lol. Don't think I'll do that but I do feel better that we talked about it.

[humpieumpumkin]

I'm glad you confronted her this morning and things have been resolved. I'm sure you feel better. Some co-workers don't realize how harsh they are being when they "joke". Some are malicious, like at my last job, and there intention is to tear you down. Keep an eye out, and if it turns into hurtful "jokes" again tell them this is there warning and if they continue to do it you will report them to HR for harassment. Don't worry about being fired. It's illegal to fire some one with a disability. If they fire you, look at it this wasy you could get a huge settlement and not have to work again!:woohoo: Don't be scared to speak up, you really have nothing to lose.

Erika

[meme]

I agree. She probably doesn't realize that its bothering you so badly. Sometimes its so hard to get through to others, especially when they see it as a "peeing" thing instead of a chronic bladder disorder. It may disrupt her day for a minute when you go to the bathroom all the time, but she needs to realize that it bothers you for life.

[meme]

I'm so glad you talked to her! Its hard to stick up for ourselves sometimes, but know she knows how it effects you! Good for You!!!

[siriuspsyclist]

it's not enough that all our energy goes into just living day to day ...

just seems so unfair that being IC folks means that everything takes a little more energy ... cinluding just daily interactions with regular folks. Invited out to dinner I am always ready with retorts when I politely turn down certain dishes. Playing boardgames I am always ready with a return joke about not being able to sit still. keep your head up girl. No need to be ashamed. We're not in the 1860s anymore ... you don't work in a sweatshop and your bathroom behaviour is your own personal business. THe only info you need to listen to from your boss is JOB related. And it sounds like you're doing a good one. If there are any more jokes at your expense perhaps you can retort with "If I didn't spend that much time in the bathroom I'll really make y'all look bad!"

[GriffsMommy]

I just had to post what happened later in the day (it's a good thing.) After I wrote my last post, I started having a lot of pain. I took some Advil this morning for a headache and didn't have my prelief with me so I took it without it. I didn't think that it would be a problem. Oh boy was I wrong, about an hour and a half after I took it I started having really bad pain when I went to the bathroom. I sat with the heating pad on and increased the amount of water I was drinking but the pain kept on getting worse. So I asked my boss if she had any projects that I could work on so I could get off of the phone and take a pain pill (wygesic). When I take them I get really out of it and I don't feel comfortable talking to our customer when I'm like that. She let me get off the phone and take my pain pill. I got to do administrative work for the rest of the day, which was almost 6 hours! It was so nice to be able to get some relief from the pain and not have to go home.

[meme]

I'm so glad things are working out better for you!

[babygirlh1]

Hi Christine,

Sounds like things have taken a turn for the better. That is great. Advil is a no-no for me. It irritates my bladder.