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They think it's a big joke

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  • babygirlh1
    replied
    Hi Christine,

    Sounds like things have taken a turn for the better. That is great. Advil is a no-no for me. It irritates my bladder.

    Leave a comment:


  • meme
    replied
    I'm so glad things are working out better for you!

    Leave a comment:


  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    I just had to post what happened later in the day (it's a good thing.) After I wrote my last post, I started having a lot of pain. I took some Advil this morning for a headache and didn't have my prelief with me so I took it without it. I didn't think that it would be a problem. Oh boy was I wrong, about an hour and a half after I took it I started having really bad pain when I went to the bathroom. I sat with the heating pad on and increased the amount of water I was drinking but the pain kept on getting worse. So I asked my boss if she had any projects that I could work on so I could get off of the phone and take a pain pill (wygesic). When I take them I get really out of it and I don't feel comfortable talking to our customer when I'm like that. She let me get off the phone and take my pain pill. I got to do administrative work for the rest of the day, which was almost 6 hours! It was so nice to be able to get some relief from the pain and not have to go home.

    Leave a comment:


  • siriuspsyclist
    replied
    it's not enough that all our energy goes into just living day to day ...

    just seems so unfair that being IC folks means that everything takes a little more energy ... cinluding just daily interactions with regular folks. Invited out to dinner I am always ready with retorts when I politely turn down certain dishes. Playing boardgames I am always ready with a return joke about not being able to sit still. keep your head up girl. No need to be ashamed. We're not in the 1860s anymore ... you don't work in a sweatshop and your bathroom behaviour is your own personal business. THe only info you need to listen to from your boss is JOB related. And it sounds like you're doing a good one. If there are any more jokes at your expense perhaps you can retort with "If I didn't spend that much time in the bathroom I'll really make y'all look bad!"

    Leave a comment:


  • meme
    replied
    I'm so glad you talked to her! Its hard to stick up for ourselves sometimes, but know she knows how it effects you! Good for You!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • meme
    replied
    I agree. She probably doesn't realize that its bothering you so badly. Sometimes its so hard to get through to others, especially when they see it as a "peeing" thing instead of a chronic bladder disorder. It may disrupt her day for a minute when you go to the bathroom all the time, but she needs to realize that it bothers you for life.

    Leave a comment:


  • humpieumpumkin
    replied
    I'm glad you confronted her this morning and things have been resolved. I'm sure you feel better. Some co-workers don't realize how harsh they are being when they "joke". Some are malicious, like at my last job, and there intention is to tear you down. Keep an eye out, and if it turns into hurtful "jokes" again tell them this is there warning and if they continue to do it you will report them to HR for harassment. Don't worry about being fired. It's illegal to fire some one with a disability. If they fire you, look at it this wasy you could get a huge settlement and not have to work again!:woohoo: Don't be scared to speak up, you really have nothing to lose.

    Erika

    Leave a comment:


  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    Well I pulled her aside as soon as she came in this morning as Wednesdays she gets here after I do. I told her that I really didn't like the joking and she apoligized right away. She said that she just deals with things by making jokes because you have to laugh or you'll go crazy. I do agree with that, I just said I don't really find the depends jokes funny because it hits a little to close to home. My cousin is pregnant and due in about six weeks and lives about 3 hours away. I promised that I would come and see the baby after he is born but with how bad I have been doing lately I may not have a choice but to actually wear depends if I want to make that long car drive. She felt really bad and said that she will never do it again if it makes me feel bad and I can call her baldie if I want to, lol. Don't think I'll do that but I do feel better that we talked about it.

    Leave a comment:


  • kadi
    replied
    One thing I just thought of this morning...

    I did have to disclose my IC in the beginning, as my onset was sudden & severe & I had 2 diagnostic surgeries in 1 month (laparoscopy to rule out endo & cysto/hydro). I was very surprised at how many of my female colleagues privately came to me & told me that they wear pads all day due to worries about incontinence in the classroom with all the "holding" we teachers do.

    Your boss is definitely insensitive, it may also be that she is so overwhelmed with her cancer that she has no idea anything else can be that serious, if it's not life threatening. Give her the benefit of the doubt, go with Donna's suggestion & if she keeps it up, then walking away silently is a pretty good response to her inappropriateness.

    Leave a comment:


  • ponytail
    replied
    Take care not to alienate your boss. She may just feel embarrassed about your condition and doesn't know how to handle it. Instead, perhaps try to understand her issues and try to be diplomatic. She might not think she is doing anything wrong.

    Leave a comment:


  • jen74
    replied
    Wow, I am so sorry that you have to deal with such an A****** of a boss. There is no excuse for her behavior. Some poeple are just plain ignorant. I would just walk away from her when she starts being rude like that, she will get the message. I swear it is people like that that you just wish they could live in your shoes for a few months and see what it is like.Then maybe they would not be so quick to make fun of someone elses pain. I am sorry you had to deal with that.
    Jen

    Leave a comment:


  • Want2BPainFree
    replied
    I don't think your boss would like a taste of her own medicine, so she really wouldn't have any choice BUT to feel bad about trying to make light of a heavy situation.

    Certainly the lump in her breast and chemo wasn't a "breeze".

    Her behavior is completely out of line and unprofessional.

    Wishing you less potty breaks.

    Leave a comment:


  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    Thanks for all the support and replies everybody. I already have a very simple letter from my doctor that explains I have a medical condition that requires that I take frequent bathroom breaks and need to be allowed to do so. I work in a call center and am on the phone all day. My boss didn't ask for this but I didn't want anybody to think I wasn't being "productive" because I spend so much time in the bathroom. My boss knows that I work hard for her, heck she's always complaining to me about the people who don't and there is nothing wrong with them other than they are lazy. I agree with Kadi though, I don't think I want to go too in depth, there is a job that is coming available in July, not a promotion per say but a different job that she was considering me for that I really want so I won't give away too much. I'm just going to express that this is not cureable as she seemed to have been thinking, it is not fun, I am in pain alot, and I work really hard for her and I don't like her joking about it even though she is probably trying to be funny, IC causes me so many problems I can't laugh about it. I think she'll be very receptive and feel really bad once she knows she upset me. At least that's what I'm hoping for.

    Leave a comment:


  • babygirlh1
    replied
    I agree Kadi. The Human Resource Manager has the letter. No one else knows what I have. If my boss makes any remarks about my absences, I am to tell him to go see the HR Manager. She will handle it. Luckily, I work in a very busy office and everyone is engrossed in their own work that they don't have time to notice how many times I use the bathroom.

    Leave a comment:


  • kadi
    replied
    I don't think printing out info on IC is necessarily a good idea at work. On the one hand, we want people to know it's serious, but on the other hand, when our bosses know how serious it is, we put ourselves at risk of being passed up for promotion, not being seen as reliable.

    And yes, we can mention legal action, but that makes things truly ugly & can result in our supervisors & colleagues to "prove" us incompetent in order to defend themselves.

    None of this is fair. It's awful. But, I find that the less information anyone at work has about my IC, the better. I had to disclose when I was really sick, my boss was seemingly sympathetic, but turned around & used it against me when I was better & wanted promotion. I told him he couldn't use my health as a deciding factor & he set out to make me look incompetent. It was an ugly, ugly scene--one of the worst experiences of my professional career. Fortunately the jerk moved on to another job this year and only one of my 4 administrators knows about my IC. She is highly supportive, but I do always keep in the back of my mind that she knows about the IC and I am careful not to make waves.

    Donna's suggestion is a good one. It is a gracious response and it gives your supervisors a face-saving way out.

    Leave a comment:

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