Scared I will lose my job (repost)

[floridamom]

I have just started a new job, a great job actually only 3 weeks ago. In that time since starting the job I have been out an average of 2 days per week. All related to either IC or my fibro. I am so petrified I am going to lose this job. Yet part of me almost WANTS to lose it so that I can have a valid reason to stay home & take care of myself (and hopefully collect SOME unemployment). I am just such a mess now. Peeing on average every 30 min. day & nite, which aggrevates my fibo for lack of rest, then yesterday my IBS-D started again.
Here I sit when I should be driving to work on the computer because i am out YET AGAIN thanks to pain & fatigue. I work in the insurance industry & I need to be sharp when dealing with work, no way am I with it today, I would cause too many errors.
I am just venting I know..but I just wish that I could take at least 3 months off to get ME right. Does anyone else feel that way?! Has anyone else actually done it??
Feeling so stressed & scared.........

[ICNDonna]

It does sound like you need to take some time off to get some rest and hopefully get your symptoms under control. I suggest you talk with your employer --- it could be that they will have a place for you when you are ready to come back.

Warm healing wishes,
Donna

[littlemyrn]

I have a friend who is in HR for our county, and she told me that someone who works for the county is taking the family medical leave for IC. Her boss was ready to fire her, but because my friend, knows what I go through and the pain I suffer, she said NO, let her take some time and try to get a handle on her condition. Because I have educated my friends regarding IC this women's job was saved. Good Luck.

[ICKIRSTI]

I feel your pain

Hello there... I want you to know that I feel your pain, and I am quite sure a majority of us on here, if not all, feel your pain as well. (Except of course for the luck one's in remission!!) I have not worked for the past year. I looked up disability but it seems like too much confusion for me. And personally, I'm petrified of the process and people telling me, no. In addition, my grades at the University were great, until I was undiagnosed with I.C. The late nights, drinking coffee, eating bad, bad foods, smoking cigarettes(which i quit the first of the year!), insomnia, deadlines put me to the floor, and ultimately my GPA has sufferred too. BAD! I tell myself, if only I had stopped myself and listened to my body and mind. Then I never would have hurt my GPA in the first place. If we do not heed the signals from our mind and body, in the end we will wish that we really HAD! Please heed the signals from your body and mind. Do what you need to for you, to feel better, or as best as you can. Please do not ever regret doing what is best for you. You, afterall, are the only one that has to live with yourself, for the rest of your life! haha... Wishing you all the best and sending the warmest of regards...... KJD

[kjd]

Oh I am so sorry you are in this situation. I have also been in this situation for 6months and so far they havent sacked me but I am still worried.

I feel so bad when I am home sick and get so stressed out and upset! I need the money and cant afford not to work.

I was weeing every 15mins so bad I actually moved my desk next door to the toilets!!!! How embarrasing eh!!!

Try to take each day as it comes and dont apologise for being off work as you havent asked to feel like this have you! Its not your fault and at the end of the day you are good at your job so they do value you!!

could you ask to work at home one day a week?
x

[Sarojini]

I feel your pain too -- I'm a research scientist, and laboratory work is often not compatible with IC, fibro, IBS, and the rest of the things that are wrong with my body.

Several months after I was first diagnosed in 2004, I went to a new urologist who was the kindest, most compassionate woman -- she cared for me holistically. Not only did she treat my IC with all the newest treatments, but she dealt with my fibromyalgia/myofascial pain by doing trigger point injections and even referred me to a psychiatrist and therapist who specialized in helping people deal with life-changing diagnoses.

At that time I was also having a horrible time at work; lots of absences because my symptoms were not yet controlled and I did not yet have my coping mechanisms in place either... and I had a boss who I suspect is the earthly incarnation of Satan. Really, he was so mean. I won't get into it, but the stress caused by that situation was not helping my health.

My sweet urologist saw this when I made an emergency appointment to see her, and requested that my husband come to the appointment as well. There, she quietly pointed out that I would not get well if I did not have time to get well. She pointed out that, with IC and fibro, it takes time to find what works treatment-wise, time to try physical therapy, time to talk to one's therapist if need be, and simply time to rest, heal, and look inside oneself to develop coping skills.

She then suggested that I take at least three months off work. My husband and I discussed it, and since we could make it on just his salary, I decided to just quit that horrible job -- I knew that devil boss wouldn't accept a request for a long leave, as he didn't believe in IC, so I just went in and quit.

I spent a year at home doing exactly as my urologist suggested, and I am very, very glad I did that. I have gone back to work now (although some days I wish I hadn't ) -- but I find that I am better able to cope now that I had that time to rest, gain strength, and explore treatment.

It may be time for you to try something like that. I don't know how finances are with you, but if you can swing it, you may do well.

If not, and you want to continue working, check out the link to my blog at Revolution Health -- I wrote two entries there with some of the tips I use to deal with work while being chronically ill...

[floridamom]

Thanks so much for the kind responses... I knew I hung around here for a reason, lol!!
I read your blog you had mentioned & felt so empowered by what you wrote. It is true I need to take care of ME first & foremost. I never do that, I take care of my kids, my family, my job..never really speak up about ME.
Of course, I do need to find something that brings some money in, I am a single mom with 3 small kids. I get a small amount of child support, but definitely not enough to pay the bills:-(
I spoke to a lawyer a while back about filing for disablity & she pretty much said I would be fighting a losing battle because of my age (32) & did I really want to take that on??
I am attempting to get short term disablity, but the insurance company is jerking me around & making me jump thru hoops, I am pretty sure they will say this condition is pre exisiting before I took out the policy. GRRRRR.
I dont know where that leaves me at this point. I need to find a job that pays great money & lets me work a few days a week for a few hours a day...gee wouldnt that be nice for ALL of us IC'ers???
SIGH.......thanks for the replies, though...it is bolstering my spirits as I read them.

[Babs RN]

Karen,
Another friendly post from your neighbor to the north. I have started a new job in the last 4 months and know how hard it is to contemplate missing work when you are new. I have found out some interesting things...to qualify for FMLA leave(well for the company to have to have a position open when you return)the company must employ more than 50 people and you have to have worked more than 1,250 hours in the last year. As far as unemployment in Florida, they look back so many quarters to see if you qualify. PM me if you want.

Hugs,
Barb