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A good answer for insensitive questions

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  • #16
    I'm a teacher and one time too many a girl in my class asked me why I don't have any children. She bugged past my usual response of "You guys are my kids." or "We're working on learning Spanish right now, not my personal life."
    I just looked at the girl and said, "Because I can't."
    I wouldn't normally do that, but I'd just had enough.
    Shocked silence in the room.
    Question not asked again.
    I'd normally not do that though, because it is a level of personal disclosure that borders on unprofessional, but in this one situation, I think it was a good lesson for this particular class that some things in life ARE larger than a flip answer & some things shouldn't be asked of acquaintances in public. Be careful what you ask. You may not be prepared for the answer. These were basically nice kids though, some classes could have turned that situation really nasty & crude, but these kids were just immature & clueless, not mean.

    I'm often tempted to reply that 90 teenagers a semester is excellent birth control, but I do actually like them & think it might hurt some of their feelings, so I go more for the changing the subject option.

    Come to think of it, that's become a very handy strategy for me since getting IC. Change the subject when asked why I don't travel internationally any more, why I'm not eating, why I'm going to the bathroom so often, why I can't say yes to everything people want, why I'm not married, why this, why that.

    I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

    New favorite quote: "God gives us only what we can handle. Apparently God thinks I'm a bad-ass" ~Author Unknown
    Source - Pinterest

    Current treatments:
    -IC diet
    -Elavil 50mg at night
    -Continuous use birth control pills (4-5 periods/year)
    -Heparin/Marcaine/Sodium Bicarb home instills at night 3-4x per week, more often if needed
    -Pyridium if needed,
    -Pain medicine at bedtime daily, as needed during the day several times per week
    -Antibiotic when doing an instillation to prevent UTI
    -Colace & SmartFiber to treat chronic constipation from meds, Fleet enema as needed
    -Dye Free Benadryl 50 mg at bedtime
    -"Your Pace Yoga: Relieving Pelvic Pain" dvd, walking, treadmill at gym
    -Managing stress= VERY important!
    -Fur therapy: Hugging the cat!


    • #17
      Thanks, Annie.
      Je vous souhaite de la joie, de la bonne santée, et tout ce qu'il y a de bon dans la vie.
      Wishing you happiness and good health, and all the best out of life.

      Peace, Carolyn

      Laura (11), Susannah (12 1/2) and Maman (that's me!), North Wildwood NJ, September 2007

      On the Beach with IC


      • #18
        I find it quite shocking that some people would ask such questions. However, I have a few co-workers who know about my illness and they have told me about their own illnesses. Sometimes those folks will comment about me losing weight or comment on their own weight. In those instances, I know that it is more of a "checking" on me.

        However, if someone that I was not close or friendly with continued to ask those questions over and over then I woulld go to my HR manager and ask her for advice. Some office politics tolerate some comments better than others.

        I love the response Thank you for keeping track....because it doesn't give any info on your condition and it can me somewhat funny. I think that would keep you from offending the wrong person.

        Can you imagine if someone had cancer and lost their hair to chemo and one of these idiots would say something like - why are you bald???? People's stupidity amazes me.

        My issues:
        Adenomyosis -Diagnosed 2010
        Fibromyalgia - Diagnosed 2009
        IBS - Diagnosed 2007
        IC - Diagnosed 2003
        Endo - Diagnosed 1998
        Cystic Acne

        My meds:
        Elmiron orally 100 mg 2x per day
        Effexor 75mg 1x perday
        Welburtin 150 mg 1x per day
        Maxalt (as needed for migraines)
        birth control pills


        • #19
          skinny remarks

          ignore the skinny remarks. most of it comes from jealous women I have noticed. One obese woman at work used to tell me Id blow away with the wind for years. At 5 2 and 105 I felt I was at a good weight. i finally told her one day "You will hold your ground, you'll never blow away" and she got the hint.