The Fear of Being Away from Home:School/Work

[Alleycat]

Im currently not working or going to school. I was babysitting here at my house for like a month but then the mom found a daycare so that was the end of the little income I had coming in. Im married to a USAF man and he works 2 jobs. I feel bad sometimes not working anywhere but Im so scared something will happen when I do work away from home. Im 19 and I havent taken any college classes...really dont know what I want to go for. My husband said since I like to draw I could be a graphic designer..but I dont think I can draw that good. Im kinda just hanging around at the moment. Any suggestions/advice.

Always~Alley
Sending hugs <img src="graemlins/grouphug.gif" border="0" alt="[grouphug]" />

[havehope]

Have courage! It's very difficult being a military spouse. I am one (and was your age when married, but I also traveled 1/2 way round the world to be here with him). It's very important that you feel comfortable being away from home, and also to be comfortable being on your own. You are a military spouse, and undoubtedly, you will be on your own at times. Deployments can be over whelming to a young spouse, however.......they can also be a time where you can explore, improve yourself. GO TAKE ONE FUN ART CLASS to start off with. Once you get the confidence about being at school (and you can let the school know that you have a medical reason for making a quick exit to the bathroom), you will start to feel better. Once you do, taking a heavier load at school will be not as overwhelming. You can follow your spouse around for years as he relocates, but YOU MUST have your own identity and interests. It sounds like your husband wants you to go to school, so enjoy his support. Don't let IC keep you imprisoned. You'll really enjoy yourself at school. By the way, when I was unsure about what to do at school, I started off taking one art class.....which then lead to my major. Good luck.

[havehope]

PS........As for knowing if you are good enough, you'll learn A LOT to help you improve and help you find out what your artistic strengths are. From there you can decide what field or art/career you want to go into.

[Alleycat]

Thank you so much havehope. You really boosted my confidence. Yes being a military wife can be overwhelming at times but then very exciting at other times. He has already been deployed to Alaska for 3 wks and in March of next year he will be going to Turkey for 4 1/2 months. But since that is a long period of time I will be going back home and staying with my parents so I will have someone to help me. Who knows maybe I can get a fun job there for that length of time. Im just kinda nervous being away from home..not knowing a whole lot of people and starting college in a larger city from where I came from for the first time. Plus Im really shy which makes it even more harder for me. I was thinking about taking a fun art class like you said. What did you major you in ? So you are still a military spouse ? What branch ? I hope to travel around the world and see some places. We have put in for England. Thank you for your support and encouragement. I will take your advice and go out there and do something.
~Alley

Sending hugs <img src="graemlins/grouphug.gif" border="0" alt="[grouphug]" />

[havehope]

Dear Alleycat,

My actual major was "Art" - hands on. I love sculpturing, but of course the degree specififed that you take classes in all the mediums, painting, design, etc. Plus, you have to do the core subjects, science, language, math, etc.....but, they were all good classes to take. In the beginning, I took a couple of classes for fun (even though they weren't necessary). It was a good way to get my feet into the water.
Yes, my husband is still in the service (USMC) .......for one more month (then he retires/transitions). We never got to live overseas, but we have traveled with him on some business trips he has taken to Europe. Lots of fun. We've just done a move.....and it's always a bit hard at first, but I am use to that now. It's just a matter of time before I feel settled in. If you get a chance to live on a base, you'll often find comraderie there that simply doesn't occur on "the outside".
If you're concerned about being at a large college, start off going to a junior college (a lot of your credits can be met there that can transfer over to a four year college and they are usually a lot cheaper, too). Also, because you are a military spouse, and WILL move at some time, try to finish off your Associate Degree if you are limited for time. Once relocated, you can work on the Bachelor's degree. If you need to work, a two year degree is better than saying you haven't a degree at all. However, down the road, the 4 year one is the way to go. You will learn so much about techniques and methods, so don't freak out if you are not an automatic Michelangelo. Also, there are many ways of utilizing art e.g. (as hubby said) graphic arts, interior design, teaching art, etc. First thing to do is get a hold of a catalogue from a college.
Pick out something fun. I loved working with clay. DO IT!!! You'll feel so much better about yourself, your confidence, and your ability to be gone from home. Semper Fi

[havehope]

P.S. (so I like the PSsss).......don't worry about being shy. Since you'll be taking art classes you can pretend to be one of the brooding, introverted, eccentrics. Let your artwork be your way of communicating, and don't judge your work against that of anyone else. Dealing with IC gives you a lot of insight about man's/woman's way of dealing with emotions, pain, hope, suffering, etc.....all the good stuff for subject matter. <img src="graemlins/lmao.gif" border="0" alt="[lmao]" />

[Laina22]

I just graduated from college in graphic design..I didn't know what I wanted to do when I finished high school but I went to college anyway. I stayed in for 2 years in art but I was lost. After 4 years I went back and majored in art again. I took the first Graphic Design class and loved it. I had to take all the bs classes but the art classes were great. I can draw but I am not as good as most. I am glad I took that graphics class because I don't think I would have been able to do much with just drawing. This way I can still draw in my spare time or to do thumbnails for something I want to design on the computer. I say just take it slow find yourself and the rest will come to you. I am just starting out and I am trying to get as much experience as I can in order to get a good job. Everyone wants experience. It can be stressful because of all the deadlines but it is fun. I just have to learn to control my stress level because of my IC.
Just take a couple of classes a semester to see what you like. It couldn't hurt.

Good luck
Laina

[Alleycat]

It sounds like taking some art classes is what I need. They sound fun. Thank you all for sharing your stories and experiences.

~Alley

[mla]

Hi,

Have you thought about online courses? Many universities offer them and it could be a more comforting way of getting into things, especially since you seem to be moving around a bit because of your husband. Just a suggestion, good luck!! [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Alleycat]

Thank you for suggesting online courses. It is true that hubby and I will be moving around a bit due to the military.
I will be going back home for about 5 months while he is deployed. The online classes would be more comforting...going at my own pace...being in my home...alot of bonus points. Thank you for the helpful suggestion. <img src="graemlins/angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" />

~Alison~

[anmi]

Hi, alley cat, I know exactly what you're talking about. It is so easy to feel imprisoned, especially since you never know from one day to the next how you are going to feel which makes school/work awful difficult. It's also extremely difficult when u are young (im 22)to have to feel like u are watching life pass by, but i have found a few ways to feel like i am still involved but from the convenience of my home.

1. School - i had to leave school because of IC, i tried to finish my last semester of college, but one professor refused to compromise on attendance so i ended up one class short of a degree. but, no problem. there are many many many long distance learning classes you can take and you can even earn a degree from home from some schools(i.e. university of pheonix). plus, a lot of the long distnace programs are actually hundreds of dollars less expensive than actually attending school. a good example of this is Indiana University (where i attended). a three credit hour class on campus is about $1200 for out of state and $700 for in state, but a long distance learning class is only $300-$400. some schools that have great long distnace programs are Indiana University (they're like #1 for long distance classes) and University of Georgia. But there are plenty of others, just do a search on yahoo, there are hundreds.

2. Working from Home - IC actually became a blessing in some ways for me because I started my own company so that I wouldn't go insane at home. Even though I have no design or artistic experience (I was an English major in school) I know design, refinish, and paint furniture (thank you daytime home improvement shows - it's really quite easy and a lot of fun)and i taught myself to sew (also surprisingly easy) and make quilts and pillows and so forth. then about once a month, or whenever i can, i take my stuff to the local flea market (boyfriend in tow so i can take as many bathroom breaks as i need). the lesson here is just to find something that you're good at (you mentioned drawing) and figure out a way to make a product or a service from your house (i.e. maybe you could auction off portraits on ebay - ive seen it done, they send you the picture and you send them back a portrait). One of the simplest things I do within my business that anyone could do is go to the garage sales on the weekends, and then sell the things u buy at about a two hundred percent mark up at a flea market, on ebay, or on your own website.

3. the INTERNET - access to the internet is incredibly helpful when it comes to making a life from home. As I mentioned before Ebay can be a marketplace, you can have your own webiste for your business etc. Plus the internet offers yet another option for a business at home. Many of the long distnace courses one can take are based on technology. It's really quite easy to learn website design and programming, which is something one can do for a living from home.

4. Volunteering - this is something that has really helped me feel more involved in life. when you volunteer, you can control your schedule completely. let them know your circumstance ahead of time, and you can always adjust your schedule to fit in with your health. it gets you outside and into life and helping people (i don't know about the rest of you but IC has made me a much more compassionate person). it is not quite as embarassing to tell a volunteer coordinator about an illness than it is a boss because community organizations are not only just ecstatic that you are there but let's be perfectly honest - they're used to stories like ours and they're ususally very compassionate people themselves. volunteering is also very inspiring, and you will meet a lot of people who have worse stories than yourself and are overcoming even larger obstacles and you will truly be inspired.

anyway, i hope this helps. don't ever let IC imprison you, there is always a way to walk around a mountain if you can't climb over it.

love and good luck,
anmi grouphug