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I need advice please

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  • I need advice please

    I have waitressed for the last 9yrs.Which trust me isnt easy. Two yrs ago when IC came into my life my bosses had known I was having health problems. I sat them down and tried to explain in a simple manner what was wrong with me. I had to also give up some hrs.And if they needed me to work extra,andif I didnt feel well,thats all I had to tell them because they knew. They sold the place and now there will be a new owner,my old boss,didnt tell him anything about me,like hes says because it is of personal nature,which I agree. But a part of me wants to let the new owner know what the deal is with me, I just feel like its more stressful for me to pretend everything is ok when its not.What should I do,Im confused-JOJO

  • #2
    If it were me, I'd tell him. You don't need the stress of trying to keep a secret.

    good luck!!!!!!!
    Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".


    • #3
      I told my work about IC and my supervisor started treating me like the ground she walks on with her dirty shoes. She's been that way for 2 years and I've tried to talk to her nicely about it but she refuses to admit that I am sick. She tried to tell me that her sister in law makes up diseases of her body and then cries for pain medication and gets it. I think she was trying to say that I am making the IC up so I can be a druggie! Yeah right I love that! I'm out on disability now becasue it was more stressful and painful to see her scrutinizing face all day long. I tried to keep IC a secret too but it did not last for long.

      Employers do NOT have a right to actually know what your illness is. I talked with a lawyer a few months ago and she said that they can know you are sick, but that you do not have to get specific with them. I they should have questions they can speak to your doctor. It's supposed to be your own personal business. Of course if you want to tell them more details, I suppose that's fine, but in my past I've ruined my reputation for several employers by trying to be honest and truthful. You'd think employers would appreciate the honesty but unfortunately no matter how hard I work and how much I try to compensate for my illness, it just gets worse. I graduated with a psychology degree with a 3.9 GPA and I work in an HR department. My supervisor does not see this person. She sees the girl whom calls in sick every few weeks with bladder problems even though I've brough her literature and actual newspaper articles featuring myself. It hurts me because I studied so hard and having an illness such as IC is so hard to make other people know that you don't mean to be sick. Sorry I'm ranting and raving because I just got a call from my work today, they want to know when I'm coming back to work even though they have a note that says I will be out unitl March 22nd in which they will provide them with more info at that time regarding my ability to work. So why the HE!! are they calling me this week, I spoke to them last week!!

      It must be hard to have to come under new management on top of your IC? I'd want to tell my employer too. It's so hard to put on an act when you feel so bad inside. When is this person taking over? How did you explain it to your first boss? I'm curious as to what you said, maybe it's just that I have a really bad boss? Maybe you can bring in some literature in the disease. I always show the article on It explains what we go through with IC and how serious a disease it is to cope with. I hope you have better luck with this new owner and congrats to keeping a hard job such as waitressing and having IC! I highly respect you for that!!



      • #4
        It was easier with my first boss because they saw me suffering and frightend because at the time I didnt even know what was wrong . When I got a dx, I just told them I had a rare bladder disease,that causes me alot of pain,and basically the bladder lining is being destoyed and nobody knows why. I didnt go into great detail,because I know they wouldnt get it.-JOJO


        • #5

          Maybe I gave too much detail.



          • #6
            You might think about printing out the definition of IC that's in the Patient Handbook for your new boss. I'm retired now, but when I worked my supervisor knew about my IC and was very understanding.

            Sending a warm hug,
            Stay safe

            Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center -
            Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) -

            Have you checked the ICN Shop?
            Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

            Patient Help:


            Diet list:

            AUA Guidelines:

            I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

            Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool


            • #7
              My employer knows about my IC. In fact, I told them at my interview! At the time I could afford to be choosey about jobs so I figured if they can't work with me and my IC, I can't work with them! It's turned out really well and my employer is extremely understanding. Good luck to you!!

              "The first time her laughter unfurled it's wings into the wind....
              We knew that the world would never be the same."
              ~Brian Andres

              Baby Kaitlyn was born on 07/08/01 after a successful pregnancy with IC!


              • #8
                I also would be right up front with them JOJO!!

                When I had my interview for my job, I told them about my condition and about the InterStim Implant and said I would have to take a day off to go to my doctor when needed to, and the mananger told me not to worry about it at all..

                I had no problems when I needed to take time off when I had to have surgery and the manager was more then understanding to..

                I think you cannot hide being ill and all they want is for you to be honest with them about you JoJo..

                I wish you all the best with you new owner to!!!

                Thinking positive has got me through to another day!!


                • #9
                  when I was dx'd with IC, I told the owner of the company about it. She has been VERY supportive and understanding. I am on a temporary leave of absense and feel no stress about losing my job. My boss calls me once a week to see how things are going. She has also taken it upon herself to learn about IC and now knows about as much of IC as I do. She has offered to drive me to doctors appointments, as I am no longer able to drive. I am thankful that I was honest with her - I now not only have a great boss but a great friend as well. [img]smile.gif[/img]


                  • #10
                    I am on a LOA right now and my Benifits Co. is making it hard to extend my LOA. I am paying for short term/long term disability....isn't that what it's for!!! Geez...what more do they want, a death certificate???? I tried explaining to my boss and other employees who noticed me having to go to the bathroom every 20 minutes some days....they don't care. It's embarrasing sometimes having to hear " You gotta go again...didn't you just go 5 minutes ago"? I even went as far as printing up some documents from this network explaing IC for my boss....she didn't even read it. Well, thanks for listening.


                    • #11
                      Hello there,

                      When I first had IC I was not strong to work
                      and have IC. I was in pain each minte of the day. I started to inprove and feel less pain. I decided to go back to work. MY first meeting with my boss, I mention that I have an illness of the bladder and I mange the pain with meds and the illness under control. Things wre fine for year and A half. I had A big flare and I just could'nt work with so much pain but I went anyways. The boss was understanding and my co-workers were very good about the hole thing. They helped me through it. I no longer feel uneasy at work. Now when I'm sick they know I have take it easy until I feel well again. I feeling great agin. I take meny treaments and all together I have IC controled. Don't be afraid of telling about your IC. That is apart of you now and I think it's inportent for then to understand your needs at work. I'm shure will feel more at ease with your co-workers. I hope things turn out for the better. Don't give up be strong and remember you are not alone [img]wink.gif[/img]

                      Sin yours, [img]wink.gif[/img]