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  • traceann
    replied
    Ya know Mary, I wish I knew why I do it too. Husband says I always take things too personally, when sometimes it's totally not. And I am not the type to get mad, I get sad and upset, lol. Here's prime example - and this goes back to highschool, lol: I was in choir and had been for years, same choral director followed us from Junior High, to highschool etc. So, one day, yes I am talking when I shouldn't have been and she called me on it - my feelings were SO hurt! LOL I felt like she didn't like me anymore! LOL I can look back on it now, and realize I shouldn't have been talking, lol. But I was so upset by it - took it personally. ugh. And of course I happen to be married to the KING of moodiness, geesh - so you can imagine what it's like around here for me!! LMAO!!!! If he's mad at something else (say he's fixing something etc), I think I did something wrong, I too wish I could be like him and let it roll off my back, according to him he has to work on it, lol.

    Ok, gotta get all Dr Phil on ya here, lol. As for letting them make the first move - how's that working for ya? LOL Just teasing of course, I just couldn't help myself!!! But, seriously, I think you have nothing to lose, worse someone can say is no, right? (if there is more than no, just let it sound like buzz buzz buzz, lol) You have the best sense of humor, good grief, you manage to always make someone around here smile!!!!!!! My problem was, I had a zillion guy friends, but I had no idea how to be towards one I may have had a crush on. Why couldn't I just treat them like my guy buddies? I don't get it. To me that's what I should have done, instead of approaching it as a potential "love interest" look to it as making a friend first. Totally takes the pressure off I think.

    Eh, just don't beat yourself up about it, k? Seriously, I will type and type and type as long as I have to until you are convinced as Loreal` would say "you're worth it!"

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  • Billsbaby
    replied
    ya know waterflow,you can be very shy but still do internet dating.its actually probably a good way for you to try and meet people.i always felt much more at ease (when i was single)to do the internet dating thing.that way your not face to face,and not even talking on the phone.you type to us all day and i think you have an absolutely wonderful and funny personality.its the same thing,you can get to know people and then when you feel comfortable enough with someone,then call them,and so on and so on!i think you should give it a shot girl.what have you got to lose.

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  • waterflow
    replied
    miz_sunshine87,The word virgin seems to be a bad thing now. When people find out about me still being one they say I am a freak or something mentally wrong. I have no friends now and I can’t take crowds or people being near me. Has been getting worse too. Getting hard going to Uro’s since it is always crowded now for some reason. When you go to get together I am the one holding up the wall. If not for people like me the buildings would not be standing. You’re young and just starting out. I’m 42 and for me pretty much just putting my time in. Plus I just don’t have the nerve to start it. The guy has to be the one to make the first move. Thanks for the suggestions. They are good ones.

    Tracey, I can take things the wrong way too and get so bummed out. Maybe a hormone problem? Wish I could think like your husband. Maybe he can give some lessons to people. Or write a "how to book".

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  • traceann
    replied
    Oh good - I am so glad to hear that you don't think it's anything you did, whew!!

    And hey, sometimes we are all overly-sensitive to things happening arounds us and to us. I know sometimes I can read WAAAAAAY to much into something and make myself miserable, just to find out it wasn't the way I'd colored it at all. Sometimes I swear it's a girl thing! LOL Most of my girlfriends have admitted doing the same things at some point or another. And it's most worst when we are at our "most vulnerable" - either feeling off, punky, hormonal (lol) etc.

    You sound a lot like me - I hate change. My husband teases me about it all the time, but it really bums me out. Especially when I was liking the way things were humming along and then all of a sudden a left turn out of nowhere. His attitude is "oh well, what are you going to do about it, there's nothing you can do, so go with the flow". Well, yeah, I get to that point eventually, but I still end up mourning the way something used to be and mad because it's changing, lol.

    Do keep your chin up though, someone might want to see your eyes!

    Leave a comment:


  • miz_sunshine87
    replied
    waterflow,

    good to know I'm not the only one posting on here about my love life (or lack thereof). The ladies on here had some good advice for me, and have good advice for you too.

    Hope you don't mind taking dating advice from a 20 year old girl, but...


    Internet dating can be fun. Nothing might come of it, and you might meet a ton of weirdos, but as long as you stay safe (ex only meet in public places, bring along a friend etc.) it can be fun. I've actually got a good friend who met her boyfriend over the internet (of course that is not the official story though), they've been going over a year strong.

    Don't worry about having only gone on one date. I sometimes get uncomfortable too when a guy asks me about my dating/sexual history. Truth is I'm a virgin, and only had one real boyfriend and that was back in high school. I don't care what anyone thinks of that. If a guy looses interest after hearing that, then he wasn't right for me anyway.

    You sound a lot like a (male) friend of mine. He's in his mid twenties, but comes from a conservative religious background. All his friends that are his age age married with babies, and he can't even get a date. Sure he's a bit on the short side and a little thin on top, but he's not too bad on the eyes. His problem is that he wants a girlfriend (wife?) too badly, and flubbers up everytime he is around a girl. I used to do this a lot too. I'm around a guy and I turn into a stutterer and say the stupidest things. So I still do this a bit, but I'm getting better. My secret has been to go out in mixed-sex groups. It makes me feel a lot more comfortable around men. Once I stopped seeing "the man" as some kind of weird foreign sex object, and rather as another huma being, things were so much easier.

    If you have any single friends or accquainances, maybe you could suggest a group outing, where they bring along some men if they know of some. Anything works...bowling, pool, even coffee, amusement park etc.

    Last night a big group of us went to Dave and Busters. It's like an indoor carnival. I don't know if you guys have it where you live, but it's a lot of fun! We all ended up splitting off into smaller groups, and I spent most of the night with one guy I had just met. Was I interested in him? Not really, but I still had a blast (I didn't even go to the bathroom once in nearly 4 hrs!).

    And now I have really written way too much!

    In any case, good luck with the men situation, and remember to have fun

    Leave a comment:


  • waterflow
    replied
    I don't think he is leaving because of me. I have joked with some who left the uro's office that they couldn't take me anymore. All my complaining drove them away. Used to joke with the nurses in the beginning of the heparin when they took turns doing it. (This was before Uro started doing it). TOld them they had to keep passing me back and forth for the state of their nerves couldn't take me 2 weeks in a row. It does make sense what you said Tracey. Maybe I am just overly sensitive because of everything that has happened and is happening. Still can't get out of this crying weird state of mind but it just takes time. Everybody seems to be leaving at my Uro's and I just don't like it or can handle really.

    Leave a comment:


  • traceann
    replied
    LOL, yep all the ladies are right! And I am with Poetgirl, maybe he had a opportunity come up that he just couldn't refuse career-wise etc. And maybe he couldn't really talk about it to patients, due to a policy at work etc - or some bad blood about his leaving etc. I really doubt he was leaving because of you, so please please please don't think of it in that way. i also agree, even if there was nothing else, he treated you respectfully and pleasantly - regardless of feelings, he felt you were a person to be treated that way, we aren't usually nice to people - I should say go out of our way to be nice to people who don't somehow seem worthy of it, and he obviously thought you deserved it. Does that make sense? I wouldn't blame him or be angry that he didn't tell me - there just may be something going on that I wasn't aware of etc....

    And I had a stylist do the same thing to me! And we too were friends! I called to make an appt with Bev and they said, sorry she moved. HUH?? I mean moved right out of town! Her and her hubby had been split, and she decided to try to make it work and moved to where he was. Even crazier is it was HER salon!

    Yeah, I met my husband while I was still married (shhhhhh ), but seriously he was the brother of my best friend's boyfriend. I NEVER in a million years thought I would one day be married to that boy!!!!! Weird how life works...but I guess it has it's ways for things!!! Chin up! That's an order!

    Leave a comment:


  • petrie86
    replied
    I agree!! If I lived near you I would pick ya up and take you out!!! lol If you want you could be my Valentine!!!!... Men stink, they're stupid. Hope you have a great Valentines day Ladies!

    Rach

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  • meme
    replied
    Aw, I hate to think of you feeling all down. If I were closer I'd come get you and take you out!!! Who needs men anyways?

    Leave a comment:


  • waterflow
    replied
    I only had one date in my life and that was before I turned 20 years old. Proably have had the longest dry spell in the history of world. Men just don't come knocking my door down so I really have no experience to know if it was yes or no or what.

    Leave a comment:


  • poetgirl
    replied
    Try to remain positive - you never know what might happen. Like I and the others have said, it doesn't sound like it has anything specifically to do with you. He may not have been able to divulge he was leaving for reasons that have more to do with the practice he works for and not because he wanted to leave you in the lurch, so to speak. My hairdresser of 8 years suddenly left the salon he worked at and actually forgot to tell me - and we're friends! So one day, I called to make an appointment and they told me, "Louie no longer works here" but they wouldn't tell me where he went. I was surprised, to say the least. But the funniest thing happened. I made an appt with another stylist because I didn't know where else to go, and she very quietly leaned over during my haircut and said to me, "I know you were one of Louie's clients. He is working at X Studio now. I totally understand if you want to go back to him after this haircut." And when I finally did contact him at his new studio, he felt so bad that somehow he never communicated to me that he was leaving, but it happened very quickly. So maybe this is something similar.

    You never know - maybe he will call. And if not, at least there was someone who treated you nicely and with consideration, regardless of how the circumstances ended up. That alone should make you feel good - he saw something special in you and wanted to treat you well. And you definitely deserved that!

    Leave a comment:


  • ihurttoo
    replied
    I met my husband on a blind date. It was about the 8th blind date I had been on, and the 5th for him. So, you just never know where you will meet the one you end up with. The point is, you just have to keep putting yourself out there. I cant even begin to tell you how many men I dated before I found the one. But, it took every single one of them, all the good and bad experiances to make me who I am, and also to be able to recognize the traits that I wanted in another person. You will find yours too! At this point, you still dont know if he will call when he leaves, which he may be planning on doing. We just dont know. After all, lots of places have policies that forbid staff from dating patients. Meanwhile, I hope that you feel better soon. Hugs, Amy

    Leave a comment:


  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    That's funny that you mention that Rhonda because I met my hubby online in a chat room and we just met up to hang out for the afternoon and six months later I was moving in w/ him. If somebody would have told me when I was going to meet him that we would get married, have a house and the cutest kid on the face of the planet I would have said they were crazy. You really never do know when it's going to happen Mary. Have faith though that you will find someone, you are a great person, so it's just a matter of time.

    Leave a comment:


  • leelee88
    replied
    Awww Mary....
    I wish there were something I could do or say so you would not cry...You know I met my hubby on a online dating site.. we talked for 4 months before I decided to meet him.. by the time we met we already had feelings for each other.. have you ever thought about checking them sites out?

    Leave a comment:


  • waterflow
    replied
    I’m sure you are all right but I don’t think it was fair for him to do this to me. He has been there a long time and never once said anything to me. He is the nurse to the other doctors. Then out of the blue he talks to me, treats me nice and told the nurses he wanted to get me from the waiting room otherwise he wouldn’t see me. How would you have taken it? Now I’m being dumped once again. It seems I am always dumped by everyone. So now between the nurse leaving the other woman leaving and now him, plus normal life problems it will be a miracle if I don’t end up at the loonie farm. Guess I will just have to spend another week crying this out. Can only cry after going to bed since no one knows about this. I won’t let this happen again. If another guy starts to talk to me I am not bothering. It just is not worth it.
    I know I am being stupid but I really don't know how much more I can take. It seems all I do it cry. The thing I have to worry about is when will my Uro leave? I'll never be able to handle it.
    I'm pretty sure he won't be calling.
    thanks everyone......... I am just one big basket case.

    Leave a comment:

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