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  • Am I over reacting?

    Someone please help me!

    My coworker is alot older than me. She is a single women with a 13 year old son. She recently put herself on match.com. Anyways she's been on a few dates with guys. Each one of them she says they're sweet and she likes them. She dated like 4 guys at one time. (made out with all of them) And then about a few days later meets a new guy and then says she doesnt like the other guys. (she cant make up her mind) The point of this story is I am usually a good judge of character and this new guy she's dating I'll name him "don" she's only known him for about a week and she's already madly in love with him. She cant stop talking about him and it's driving me NUTZ!!!!!! She's supposed to be working today and all day her friends are calling her and she tells them the same story over and over again. I wanna rip my hair out of me head. If I hear the story one more time I'm gonna scream!!! I have a bad feeling about this guy and she's already introduced him to her 13 year old son. What if he gets attached to this don guy and then something happens?? This is just rubbing me the wrong way. Am I overacting? Someone please help me. I dont want to be mean and tell her that I have a bad feeling about him. I've already told her not to get to excited b/c she hardly knows her. Not to mention he's planning a trip for them this weekend to go to atlantic city and get a hotel room. What does that tell you?? I think he just wants to have sex with her! What should I do?
    ***Rachel***

    Dance like no one is watching
    Love like you've never been hurt
    Live today like it's your last

    Dxd with IC in June '06

  • #2
    new guy

    well heres what i think you should do.......nothing.!! i say that because i dont think you could say anything to change her mind , if you tell her you have a bad feeling about him i doubt it will matter to her , and she may get angry with you , i wouldnt say anything but if you feel you must ... then tell her you are concerned about her going away with someone she just met. . get her cell phone # and give her yours and tell her if she needs anything to call you. if he just wanted sex. im sure there are plenty of places and times they could have already crossed that bridge.it is never safe to just date somone you meet on line . my daughter goes into our church chat rooms and meets people . so far she has met some nice guys. nothing permanent and she didnt go off for the week-end with them... just let your friend know you are concerned for her safety.
    dezcha

    Comment


    • #3
      You probably won't change her mind. But the way it sounds this will pass in a few weeks anyway. I agree w/ dezcha, maybe get her # and give her yours just in case she needs it while she's gone.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yeh I have to agree with meme and dezcha... I would only tell her you are concerned for her and if she needs anything you are just a call away..

        I met my husband on..Match.com..And I dont think anyone could of changed my mind about meeting him either..So I think the best thing you can do is just be a friend and tell her to be careful..
        Hugs
        Ronda

        ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


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        ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

        Comment


        • #5
          I agree with the others. I would limit my involvement. She is a big girl and should be able to make these kind of decisions responsibly for herself and her son. I would keep her in my prayers that she and her son stay safe.

          Comment


          • #6
            HI! Dating isn't easy, esp. for older women. I met my husband on Yahoo 4 yrs ago and we've been married for 3 yrs now. I doubt anything you say to your coworker will change her mind.....but like the others have said....be there for her incase there's a big let down for her. I wish her luck if the guys a jerk.....she's going to need it. Roxie

            Double Spinal Cord Stimulator surgery 8/09
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            June 2007
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            For IC I use Elmiron, Elavil and Freeze dried Aloe Vera (it works likes Elmiron, but naturally)and Azo as needed. I also take Zegerid, Randitine for Barrett's Esophagus. (which causes me to have constant yeast infections!)I take Cymbalta for Neuopathy/Myopathy pain. I use the Climara patch for menopause symptoms. I'm on a very strict diet because of the IC, IBS and Gastric Bypass. I take Primal Defense Probiotics and whole food Iron.
            I no longer have the awful urethral pain! I've been using MSM gel now for 4 mo. and haven't had a flare up or the urethra pain.....it's amazing stuff!!:woohoo:

            Comment


            • #7
              I agree with the others... it's really none of your business, even though she seems to be making it a big pain to listen to her at work!! Just let her do what she wants because like everyone said, even if you say you have a bad feeling, she's just going to ignore it in the "madly in love" phase.

              I too met my husband about five and a half years ago on Yahoo Personals... we'll be married for four years this coming July. I'm pretty sure nobody could have stopped me from meeting him either, although when I went into it I wasn't expecting what I got
              ****
              Jen

              *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
              *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
              *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
              *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

              **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

              Comment


              • #8
                I agree with the others. You might end up getting blamed for something. Plus she is a lot older then you so she might say you are the young one who knows nothing. Sounds like she is just bragging really. Best to stay out of love affairs. Just try to ignore her and beem her out when she starts her stories again.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You might buy her some condoms to take with her "just in case" --- there are too many really awful diseases for her to take chances.


                  Donna
                  Stay safe


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                  I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.
                  [3MG]

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                  Comment


                  • #10
                    GREAT idea, Donna! Or, at least beg her to take some with her! It is scary what is out there in terms of disease.
                    ****
                    Jen

                    *Diagnosed with severe IC in 2004
                    *Also diagnosed with PFD, fibromyalgia, chronic myofascial pain, IBS, migraines, allergies/asthma, dermatographism
                    *Kept trying a million different treatments for all these things until I found what works, and I am doing okay these days with the help of a cocktail of medications and the InterStim, which was first placed in 2007. [I have had 2 revisions - one in 2010 when my battery died and had to be replaced, and one complete replacement (lead and generator) in 2012 after a fall on my stairs caused my lead to move.]
                    *Current meds include Atarax (50mg at night), Lyrica (150mg twice a day), Xanax (0.5mg at night and as needed), Zanaflex (4mg at night), hydrocodone (10/325, every 6 hours as needed), Advair, Nasonex, Singulair (10mg at night), oral contraceptives, home instills containing Elmiron and Marcaine (as often as I need to do them).

                    **I am not a medical authority nor do I offer definitive medical advice. I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I agree with the other gals. If you have known her for sometime, and feel comfortable with her, ask her for his last name the hotel name and room number, just in case..
                      'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Thanks for all the advice, I guess it's not my place to say anything. I just cant take the bragging anymore!!!!! Yikes I wanna pull my hair out. I'm not jealous, it's just annoying when you hear somone tell the same story over and over and over to 50 people. Especially when you know it's going to be over in a week. (that maybe harsh but that's the way I feel)
                        I'm also getting my period soooo I could be emotional. Ususally I pms and take it out on someone. It's usually my bf lol but he's going to florida tomorrow togo "hog hunting" so I guess that means i'm tkaing it out on my coworker??
                        All I know is I'm gunn have ALOT of bacon in the house lol when he gets back.
                        ***Rachel***

                        Dance like no one is watching
                        Love like you've never been hurt
                        Live today like it's your last

                        Dxd with IC in June '06

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          petri86

                          im just curious , "hog hunting" ?? ive never heard of this , is he really going to hunt real hogs ?? ducks and deer yes... but i didnt know people go hog hunting.then you eat the hog ???
                          dezcha

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            yes it's actual hogs... wild hogs. I dont know exactly where the place is. I guess it's like boar hunting I guess. He loves to hunt! He bow hunts for deer and shotgun for deer too. Last year he killed a doe while sitting on a log on the ground... that's really hard to do. He owns a cabin in northern nj and his uncle lives there. Tomorrow he is leaving early am to get on "Jet Blue" (i'm scared about that!) and then he's gunna hunt. He's so excited it's cute. He said that he's gunna be bring home the bacon! hahaha Lots of it.
                            ***Rachel***

                            Dance like no one is watching
                            Love like you've never been hurt
                            Live today like it's your last

                            Dxd with IC in June '06

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I know how bad the pms can be. If I start getting moody for no reason, Mike just looks at me and says "its that time huh?", it would make me mad, but he's usually right. I'm one of those women who you don't want to be around when I'm pms-ing. Crying for no reason, all of it! I usually try to warn him a week in advance so he doesn't do anything stupid for me to yell at him about-lol!
                              My BIL just got back from hog hunting in TX. He had a really good time, Mike wants to go so bad.

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