I need advice! My husbands ex is trying to take the kids away!

[leelee88 Support Volunteer Find all posts View Profile Close leelee88]

I am ready to throw my hands up and start crying.......
After everything I have went through and now this....I awoke this morning with banging on my front door. I looked out the window to see the sheriff standing there..He was serving Dom <my husband papers.. Doms ex wife after 3 years decides she want to take him back to court for child support.. See they have equal joint right now..He has them 14 days and she has them 14 days..Well now she wants full custody of the kids and wants child support..I just dont understand people.. The kids like it this way because they can spend equal time with both parents...She stated in the papers that her daughter who is 11 wants to stay with her full time.. But I just dont believe this to be true unless shes putting things in her daughters head..But get this... She only wants her son for the 14 days<because he has special needs and can be a handful at times...I am just mad....and hurt I love these kids like my own and it would break my heart to not get to see them..
If anyone has been through this and has any advice it would so greatly be appreciated...

Ronda

[ICNDonna ICN Staff Find all posts View Profile Close ICNDonna]

I think it's time to have a good attorney.

Warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[Cardholic IC Friend Find all posts View Profile Close Cardholic]

Fight Fight Fight!!!

Kids need BOTH parents while growing up! I just don't understand people who try to steal kids away from the other parent. My bf's ex-wife stole his kids to another country, and he hasn't seen them in years... It's so sad.

I hope it works out for you and Dom and the kids.

[leelee88 Support Volunteer Find all posts View Profile Close leelee88]

Yes Donna we have an Attorney, Shes the one who handled thier divorce. We go see her Monday...Its just sad why she wants to put these kids through this.. Thanks for the support Cardholic...

[meme IC Friend Find all posts View Profile Close meme]

(((hugs))) have you asked the kids their feelings about this yet? Hope it gets better.
Leah

[GriffsMommy ICN Member Find all posts View Profile Close GriffsMommy]

Oh no Ronda, I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Isn't it fun to deal with the ex-wife? My hubby's ex-wife doesn't care if her kids live with her at all. We have all three of them full time and sometimes some of them go on the weekends. We can't get them to all go over there at once because they complain that she never spends time with them anyway. The only thing she wants to complain about is child support, she has to pay it but they came up w/ an amount between the two of them w/o going to court. I'm totally starting to rethink that as she just shorted us out of a whole week of child support and I know I'll never see that again.
Sorry this is about you, not me, ugh, I told you I talk to much, lol. Anyway, you offered me your number when I needed help, now I'm offering mine if you need it. I can totally relate to ex-wife issues so if you ever need to talk just PM me, I'll be more than happy to get your number, give you mine, whatever. I'm sure if you have a good lawyer she can help you. It sounds like to me she wants their daughter who isn't a problem full time so she can get child support but she doesn't want their son full time because he's hard to handle, hopefully the judge will see that and tell her she's full of it.

[leelee88 Support Volunteer Find all posts View Profile Close leelee88]

We dont have them until next week.. But They have always said they like it how it is because they have equal time with bith parents...She also stated we have only provided them with $500.00 for school clothes and medical since 2005 well I have documention with reciepts over 17.000 since 2005... I just dont get her reason.. Maybe its because she was getting SSI on the oldest and the SS found out she only has him half the time and now she only gets half the money...I dont know but please just keep me in your prayers.. this is killing me....

[Babs RN Angel watching over us Find all posts View Profile Close Babs RN]

Ronda,
I'm glad you have an attorney. Please PM me and I would be glad to share some of my recent experiences with you.

Hugs,
Barb

[littlemyrn ICN Member Find all posts View Profile Close littlemyrn]

As a divorced parent, I can not imagine putting my son through more than he had to adjust to anyway. I do not understand parents that do not put their kids needs above their revenge or whatever against their ex. Fortunately, my ex put my son's needs above our feelings, and he can see his dad when his dad has time and everyother weekend. I know my son would like to spend more time with him, but my ex works alot. Good luck and get the best/cut throat atty you can afford. My best best friend is a juvenile judge here and that is all she hears is custody cases. She gave me great advice, that is what you need.

[SharonA ICN Member Find all posts View Profile Close SharonA]

leelee...I know this must be breaking your heart. I am so sorry you are going through this.

My first thought was that she is only interested in getting more money. Once that would happen, she would probably relent and let it go as it is, as long as she gets more child support out of the deal.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

[ihurttoo Guest Find all posts View Profile Close ihurttoo]

Dear Ronda,

I am so sorry that you, Dom, and the kids are having to go thru this. What on earth does she plan on saying to the one she doesnt want fulltime?!! I mean that would kill a kid to hear that his/her Mom wants the other child more, but not him/her! I mean how cruel can she be! It would be different if the other child didnt want to go with her, but it sounds like she isnt even asking the other child or considering the other one's feelings! GRRR!!

My heart goes out to all of you. I have never been thru this and cannot imagine how you are feeling. Though they are your stepchildren, I know that you love them dearly.

I am glad you have a wonderful attorney that you trust. That will make a world of difference. I agree with the others....children need both parents. Unless there are extenuating (sp?) circumstances why one parent cant take care of a child 1/2 of the time (or doesnt want to), then children deserve to spend time equally with both of their parents.

Not knowing his ex-wife, it is hard to say what her true motivation might be. As the others pointed out, it very well could be money, since she is now only getting 1/2 of the disabilty for the special needs child. Or, she may truly want to spend more time with the one. Or, the one child may truly want to spend more time with her, (which of course you will only find out by having a heart to heart talk with the child.) Lastly, the child that she wants may be angry about something that you and Dom arent aware of and may have told her mother that while she was angry, but didnt really mean it. I am just throwing out a few possibilites.

The only way to rule out some of those will be to have a heart to heart talk. It may be something that can be settled that simply. I pray that this is the case.

I dont know how to help you, but sure wish I could. I know you have several friends to talk to, but if you need one more, feel free to pm me anytime and I will also give you my number.

You and Dom have been thru so much, I just cant get over how much has been heaped on your plate lately, and now this. You are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

Please update us as soon as you hear anything. I will be worried about you until I hear something.

Sending huge hugs,
Amy

[leelee88 Support Volunteer Find all posts View Profile Close leelee88]

Thanks so much to all of you for your kind words..We have been running all day today to get things in order to take to the attorney Monday..Please just keep the kids and us in your prayers..We have decided to just go ahead and fight for full custody to.. We didnt want to do this in the past because we were doing what the kids wanted..We are still going to pursue this staing that we want what is in there best interest..Its not about money for us we want the kids to be happy...Thanks and (((((((((hugs)))))))))to all..

[stac7_8 ICN Member Find all posts View Profile Close stac7_8]

Hello I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. First let me ask you a question....what state do you live in. I ask this because in some states when a child reaches the age of 12 the judge will ask him/her whom they want to live with. Most times if that parent is not a coke head or anything the child will go with that parent.

Second question and this truly is the most important one. Have you guys sat the kids down and talked with them about this? Have you asked them their thoughts and what they truly want. I'm not saying this to make u upset in anyway. I had a VERY HAD DECISION to make myself. My son came to me and told me that he really wanted to live with his father. I know it had nothing to to with me, he was and is a daddy's boy. I finally let him go live with his dad. It was a very had thing to do trust me. I miss him every day, but it was the best thing to do in my case.

The third suggestion that I have for you is to get an adlitem (attorney for the kids) I'm not sure on the spelling. I say this also from experience....I had one when I was a kid....sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than your parents.

I truly wish you and your family all the luck in the world. Just remember to always tell your kids u love them. Many hugs and prayers coming to u from me.

[ICLori ICN Member Find all posts View Profile Close ICLori]

I hope and pray everything works out okay for you. You are such a good person, I'm sorry you have been going through all of this. It's not fair!

Blessings,
Lori

[waterflow ICN Member Find all posts View Profile Close waterflow]

I'm sorry you have to go through this now too. Have you seen the paper that states your daughter wants to live with her now and if so did she force her into writing it? I am in NY state and here once the child turns 13 they can live with which ever parent they want to. My sister went through custody battle with her ex but neither one of them wants the kids. She got stuck with them from the judge. Her ex won't pay the child support all the time and the kids are tossed back and forth. Glad you have an attorney. I hope it all works out for you both.