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I need advice! My husbands ex is trying to take the kids away!

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  • leelee88
    replied
    Thanks April,
    Yes you have been here for me ... We are going to talk to the kids next time we have them.. But his son is not mentally able to make a decision on where he would rather live..He is 12 BUT has mind of a 5 year old and that was determined by his doctor...

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  • aprilmae
    replied
    Ronda,


    As always you are in my prayers. I have another good friend that lives in Louisiana and she is having problems with her ex. I do know that you can go before a judge to have him determine competency on the part of the child to make the decision where they want to live. If you would like to talk to her just let me know. She has been through a lot and knows a lot.

    I am so sorry you are going through all this. I know that those kids are like your own and that you love them like you gave birth to them. I am here for you if you need to talk.

    Lots of love,
    April

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  • tigger_gal
    replied
    Leelee I am so sorry that you are going thru this.. I know how hard it is to fight for a child. Sending you great big hugs.

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  • humpieumpumkin
    replied
    Thats a great idea. I'm sure they love you to death! You are a great, caring mother, and they are so lucky to have a parent like you! You will be in my thoughs during this difficult time.

    Erika

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  • leelee88
    replied
    We live in Louisiana,
    We are going to sit down with the kids next week when we have them. The girl who is 11 has never gave us any indication that she was not happy with the way things are.. She loves her dad very much you can see this we she is here.. Also her and I are very close she always hugs me and says she loves me and goes eveywhere I go.. Now the son who has slight mental dissability loves his dad with eveything he has.. He always wants to be with him..He does say he wants to live with his mom but thats only when hes mad at his dad because he has gotten in trouble, but thats normal for kids to do this, later he always says hes sorry and didnt mean it..I dont think the girl truly wants to go live with her mom full time, she probably was not told all the facts..But thanks again for all the great advice..

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  • humpieumpumkin
    replied
    Best of luck....Fight for those kiddies!

    Erika

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  • waterflow
    replied
    I'm sorry you have to go through this now too. Have you seen the paper that states your daughter wants to live with her now and if so did she force her into writing it? I am in NY state and here once the child turns 13 they can live with which ever parent they want to. My sister went through custody battle with her ex but neither one of them wants the kids. She got stuck with them from the judge. Her ex won't pay the child support all the time and the kids are tossed back and forth. Glad you have an attorney. I hope it all works out for you both.

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  • ICLori
    replied
    I hope and pray everything works out okay for you. You are such a good person, I'm sorry you have been going through all of this. It's not fair!

    Blessings,
    Lori

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  • stac7_8
    replied
    Hello I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. First let me ask you a question....what state do you live in. I ask this because in some states when a child reaches the age of 12 the judge will ask him/her whom they want to live with. Most times if that parent is not a coke head or anything the child will go with that parent.

    Second question and this truly is the most important one. Have you guys sat the kids down and talked with them about this? Have you asked them their thoughts and what they truly want. I'm not saying this to make u upset in anyway. I had a VERY HAD DECISION to make myself. My son came to me and told me that he really wanted to live with his father. I know it had nothing to to with me, he was and is a daddy's boy. I finally let him go live with his dad. It was a very had thing to do trust me. I miss him every day, but it was the best thing to do in my case.

    The third suggestion that I have for you is to get an adlitem (attorney for the kids) I'm not sure on the spelling. I say this also from experience....I had one when I was a kid....sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than your parents.

    I truly wish you and your family all the luck in the world. Just remember to always tell your kids u love them. Many hugs and prayers coming to u from me.

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  • leelee88
    replied
    Thanks so much to all of you for your kind words..We have been running all day today to get things in order to take to the attorney Monday..Please just keep the kids and us in your prayers..We have decided to just go ahead and fight for full custody to.. We didnt want to do this in the past because we were doing what the kids wanted..We are still going to pursue this staing that we want what is in there best interest..Its not about money for us we want the kids to be happy...Thanks and (((((((((hugs)))))))))to all..

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  • ihurttoo
    replied
    Dear Ronda,

    I am so sorry that you, Dom, and the kids are having to go thru this. What on earth does she plan on saying to the one she doesnt want fulltime?!! I mean that would kill a kid to hear that his/her Mom wants the other child more, but not him/her! I mean how cruel can she be! It would be different if the other child didnt want to go with her, but it sounds like she isnt even asking the other child or considering the other one's feelings! GRRR!!

    My heart goes out to all of you. I have never been thru this and cannot imagine how you are feeling. Though they are your stepchildren, I know that you love them dearly.

    I am glad you have a wonderful attorney that you trust. That will make a world of difference. I agree with the others....children need both parents. Unless there are extenuating (sp?) circumstances why one parent cant take care of a child 1/2 of the time (or doesnt want to), then children deserve to spend time equally with both of their parents.

    Not knowing his ex-wife, it is hard to say what her true motivation might be. As the others pointed out, it very well could be money, since she is now only getting 1/2 of the disabilty for the special needs child. Or, she may truly want to spend more time with the one. Or, the one child may truly want to spend more time with her, (which of course you will only find out by having a heart to heart talk with the child.) Lastly, the child that she wants may be angry about something that you and Dom arent aware of and may have told her mother that while she was angry, but didnt really mean it. I am just throwing out a few possibilites.

    The only way to rule out some of those will be to have a heart to heart talk. It may be something that can be settled that simply. I pray that this is the case.

    I dont know how to help you, but sure wish I could. I know you have several friends to talk to, but if you need one more, feel free to pm me anytime and I will also give you my number.

    You and Dom have been thru so much, I just cant get over how much has been heaped on your plate lately, and now this. You are in my thoughts and prayers constantly.

    Please update us as soon as you hear anything. I will be worried about you until I hear something.

    Sending huge hugs,
    Amy
    Last edited by ihurttoo; 04-20-2007, 05:04 PM. Reason: clarifying a sentence :bonk:

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  • SharonA
    replied
    leelee...I know this must be breaking your heart. I am so sorry you are going through this.

    My first thought was that she is only interested in getting more money. Once that would happen, she would probably relent and let it go as it is, as long as she gets more child support out of the deal.

    ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

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  • littlemyrn
    replied
    As a divorced parent, I can not imagine putting my son through more than he had to adjust to anyway. I do not understand parents that do not put their kids needs above their revenge or whatever against their ex. Fortunately, my ex put my son's needs above our feelings, and he can see his dad when his dad has time and everyother weekend. I know my son would like to spend more time with him, but my ex works alot. Good luck and get the best/cut throat atty you can afford. My best best friend is a juvenile judge here and that is all she hears is custody cases. She gave me great advice, that is what you need.

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  • Babs RN
    replied
    Ronda,
    I'm glad you have an attorney. Please PM me and I would be glad to share some of my recent experiences with you.

    Hugs,
    Barb

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  • leelee88
    replied
    We dont have them until next week.. But They have always said they like it how it is because they have equal time with bith parents...She also stated we have only provided them with $500.00 for school clothes and medical since 2005 well I have documention with reciepts over 17.000 since 2005... I just dont get her reason.. Maybe its because she was getting SSI on the oldest and the SS found out she only has him half the time and now she only gets half the money...I dont know but please just keep me in your prayers.. this is killing me....

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