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  • #1

    My Birthday on Monday (Feeling Depressed)

    Every year on June 11th, I get so depressed instead of being grateful I have made it this far. I think, GOD, I'm permanently disabled, and the system won't allow me to work even though I would love to. Then I think I have no children....That topic is like beating a dead horse. I just always feel like a complete failure on my birthday and always tend to look at the negative instead of the positive. Last year I didn't even want it to come. This year I have told everyone to stay home and to just be well and be happy and that will be enough of a gift. The trouble is I'm not well or happy........

    Kara
    Complex Case: Severe IC 1999, Interstim 2001, Endometriosis 2001, End Stage Refractory IC 2002, Bladder Removal (Cystectomy) 2002, Gall Bladder Removal 2005, Infertility 2003, Urethra Removal, Bladder Reconstruction (Urethrectomy/Indiana Pouch) 2006, Celiac Disease 2007, Adhesion Disease 2007, Pudendal Nerve Entrapment, Ovarian Cysts, Vestibulitis, Vulvodynia, Total Vestibulectomy and removal of both Skene's Glands, 2007 and Coccydynia 2007. Fibromyalgia and, Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome both in my neck and knees, 2007, PNE Decompression Operation May, 2009.Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Anesthesia Awareness (to awaken during operations)Pudendal Nerve Decompression Surgery, Revrse Uterine Sling, Sept. 2011

    "One hour at a time, this was NOT my American Dream but it has to work out somehow."

    I also have some journals of my journeys, past and some present at:
    http://karasnewblog2008.blogspot.com/ and http://icnkaralynn.blogspot.com/

    Most of my Journaling now is currently on Facebook. These are old and my ICN Patient story is very old and outdated.
    Tags: None
  • #2


    Donna
    Stay safe


    Elmiron Eye Disease Information Center - https://www.ic-network.com/elmiron-p...mation-center/
    Elmiron Eye Disease Fact Sheet (Downloadable) - https://www.ic-network.com/wp-conten...nFactSheet.pdf

    Have you checked the ICN Shop?
    Click on ICN Shop at the top of this page. You'll find Bladder Builder and Bladder Rest, both of which we are finding have excellent results.

    Patient Help: http://www.ic-network.com/patientlinks.html

    Sub-types https://www.ic-network.com/five-pote...markably-well/

    Diet list: https://www.ic-network.com/interstitial-cystitis-diet/

    AUA Guidelines: https://www.ic-network.com/aua-guide...tial-cystitis/

    I am not a medical authority nor do I offer medical advice. In all cases, I strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.     [3MG]

    Anyone who says something is foolproof hasn't met a determined fool

    Comment

    • #3
      Kara,
      so sorry that you are feeling so down, I sure wish I had some words of wisdom to cheer you up. I hope you have a great day tomorrow..
      'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

      Comment

      • #4
        Oh Kara..
        I wish I had something to say to make you feel better..
        Just please remember though your life is not over and you have many more years and things just might change
        (((((((hugs))))))))))

        Ronda
        Hugs
        Ronda

        ONE Second, ONE Bite, ONE Breath, ONE Pill, ONE Minute, ONE Teardrop, ONE Hour, ONE Sip.. ONE DAY! I will Prevail from this disease! IC Hoping for a Cure!


        Link to Patient Handbook:
        http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

        Diet Reference Sheet:
        http://www.ic-network.com/diet/icndi...tsheet0909.pdf

        Meds For IC: Lyrica-25mg Glucosamine-500 MSM-500mg, Prosed Ds -When Flaring

        Other Meds: Levlite- Continious Birtcontrol, Micardis-40mg for High Blood Pressure

        Meds I have Tried:
        Topamax,Tofranil, Elmiron, Atarax, Cymbalta, Elavil, Enablex, Detral La, Prydium.
        Lexapro< Bad reaction to this med!
        Intstills, could not continue them due to some kind of reaction after 3rd instill. Tasted the lidocaine in my mouth, tongue and lips went numb then went into what seemed like a panic attack. Shaking, racing heart, tingling face/head, blood pressure shot up..

        Dx With IC in Nov 2006 with Hydro/Cysto
        Hydro/Cysto Caused Bladder to Rupture.

        Other Dxs-Vulvodynia,Fibro, Endo, IBS, HPV, Migraines, Spastic Colon, Mild Dysplasia.


        ICN Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

        Comment

        • #5
          Enjoy your day! My daughters is the next day!

          Comment

          • #6
            Kara, I SO feel for you! I know it's it's awful feeling so depressed when others around you are happy. I hope your day ends up being better than you anticipate.....we are all here for you! Roxie

            Double Spinal Cord Stimulator surgery 8/09
            Unsuccessful MiniArc sling surgery 12/07
            Dx'd Hypothyroid
            Dx'd Chronic Axonal Neuropathy & Myopathy
            June 2007
            Dx'd IC May 2006 (after suffering for 25+ yrs!)
            First Cysto 1979
            First Hydro 1981 (Many treatments since then!)
            Collagin"Durasphere" injections for urethra
            Gall bladder surgery Aug. 2004
            Gastric Bypass Dec. 2004
            Dx'd: Barrett's Esphogus July 2004
            Dx'd: Vaginal Atrophy 2005
            Bladder surgery 2000
            Dx'd: IBS 2000
            Hysterectomy (fibroids) 1999
            Laminectomy 1989
            Dx'd: Degerative Disk Disorder 1989

            For IC I use Elmiron, Elavil and Freeze dried Aloe Vera (it works likes Elmiron, but naturally)and Azo as needed. I also take Zegerid, Randitine for Barrett's Esophagus. (which causes me to have constant yeast infections!)I take Cymbalta for Neuopathy/Myopathy pain. I use the Climara patch for menopause symptoms. I'm on a very strict diet because of the IC, IBS and Gastric Bypass. I take Primal Defense Probiotics and whole food Iron.
            I no longer have the awful urethral pain! I've been using MSM gel now for 4 mo. and haven't had a flare up or the urethra pain.....it's amazing stuff!!:woohoo:

            Comment

            • #7
              Kara HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I am so sorry to hear that you are not feeling well and feeling depressed. I hope tomorrow will bring a better day for you.

              Sending hugs, Trishann

              Comment

              • #8
                Kara. :woohoo: I am having a cyber party for you all weekend. All your friends are here wishing you the best and giving you lots of (((hugs))) and PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! :woohoo:
                Sharon

                Shopping??? Did someone mention shopping? I'll get my hat... ;-)

                Where I can be found most days.



                Link to the ICN Patient Handbook:
                http://www.ic-network.com/handbook/

                Link to the IC Diet:
                http://www.ic-network.com/diet/


                IC Volunteers are not medical authorities nor do we offer medical advice. In all cases, we strongly encourage you to discuss your medical treatment with your personal medical care provider. Only they can, and should, give medical recommendations to you.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Happy Birthday !!!


                  Kara it sounds like you need a great big (((HUG))).
                  Try and enjoy your day.
                  love jill xxx
                  I have had IC and PBS for 20+ years.
                  Tried every medication I can think off.
                  Had a Clam Cystoplasty with Mitrofanoff in November 2006.
                  Had a Total Cystectomy, with a neobladder, Urethradectomy and Mitrofanoff review, also had a peristomal hernia repaired.
                  4th october 2007.

                  Check out my profile on www.myspace.com/surreychick.
                  if you want to know more about me.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Ok girlfriend! calling Now!
                    love You
                    Hugs Sandra
                    "Never Give Up."

                    To view pictures of my creative interests and Maine Coon kittens click here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/[email protected]/

                    My Photobucket Link:
                    http://s237.photobucket.com/albums/f...ramack_photos/

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Kara, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Biiiirthday to Kara, Happy Birthday to YOU!!

                      Instead of focusing on the negative, girl, think of how far you actually have come......you've come a LONG way down the path your on, and hopefully heading in the right direction. You've made alot of new friends (ME ), are now moderating on this board and helping tons of people! I, for one, sure am glad to have you in my life, and so glad you were born (?! LOL) HOW many years ago??

                      And I didn't know you were a Gemini too!! LOL, we have that in common too, my b-day's next week, so I can relate just a bit to your frustration....it's another year gone by that you feel no progress has been made, but there has really been some progress, now the year is done and you have a new one to look forward to! So, please ENJOY your BIRTHDAY!

                      I miss you and am gonna call you, I have a doc appt tomorrow! A first appt at a new Uro!! (I always get waaay too overexcieted at the thought of meeting a doc that will finally be able to help me!) Hopefully your birthday will bring me some luck!! I'll let you know...

                      Happy Birthday Girl! I'll TALK to you soon!

                      Thank You all so much to everyone here for all your sharing, caring and support!
                      < My "Bear"
                      CurrentTreatments:
                      Started herbal teas 6/2/06 Marshmallow root, comfrey root, and catnip. 6/25/06 added Mullein Leaf Powder to tea.
                      IC Diet
                      Hydroxyzine 50 or 100mg at night (Is restarted)
                      Zoloft 100mg 4/8/07 (Is restarted)
                      Klonopin 1/2 mg 4 X Day (started 3/17/07)
                      Past Treatments: Amitriptyline, Neurontin, Hytrin, Heparin instills (was Dc'd after 5 weekly tx's due to severe urethritis), Superior hypogastric plexus block, E-stim, Elmiron instills (started 4/18/06-Dc'd 5/30/06 due to severe urethritis/infection requiring foley cath @ home 4 days), Oxycontin (oxycodone) (4/18/06)-pain (Dc'd 5/31/06), Levsin S/L (hyoscyamine) (3/17/06)-antispasmotic (Dc'd 5/31/06), Elmiron (1/24/06)-(Dc'd 6/25/06), Prelief, Zanaflex 4mg for PFD (Dc'd 10/1/06), CystaQ 1 in am & 1 in pm with food(started 5/12/06-increased to 2 in am & 1 in pm 9/20/06---Dc'd 10/18/06), Lyrica (started 10/26/06 up to 600 mg-Dc'd 12/4/06 due to urinary retention), Vicodin (hydrocodone) ES PRN for pain (Dc'd 1/4/07); Cymbalta 30mg (start 1/17/07) up to 60mg in am (1/26/07) (D/c'd 3/17/07); Ativan 1mg(Lorazepam)- PRN Anxiety (changed to Klonopin 1/2mg 4Xday 3/17/07); Pyridium (phenazopyridine) PRN-bladder analgesic; MSM (6/12/06) 1000mg after breakfast & dinner (Dc'd 3/15/07); Acidophilus (Natrol) 100mg. 1 capsule 1/2 hour before breakfast (5/20/06) (Dc'd 3/17/07)

                      Added BACK in - Atarax (hydroxyzine) (started 4/6/06 Dc'd 5/31/06) Restart 50mg at night 8/18/06, up to 100mg at night 1/4/07. Zoloft 100mg-Depression (Dc'd 7/25/06) Restart 4/8/07) 100mg.
                      Dx'd: Dec 05 (Positive PST in November and positive cystoscopy in Dec) Symptoms: Pain, frequency, urgency & retention

                      My Myspace page - http://www.myspace.com/42620225

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        (((HUGS))) I love Sharon's idea of a cyber birthday party for you! You are getting closer and closer to being pain-free with every day! Don't give up now!

                        I'm sorry you are feeling sad. I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better.

                        Please just find a way to comfort yourself and celebrate YOU on your birthday!

                        Blessings,
                        Lori

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Sorry you're feeling down though! I hope you have a good day!
                          Christine



                          I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
                          1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
                          2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
                          I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

                          I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

                          Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
                          Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus

                          Comment

                          • #14

                            Kara, I hope you have a wonderful birthday today!! Relax and take a deep breath and enjoy it. Thinking of you today, Roxie

                            Double Spinal Cord Stimulator surgery 8/09
                            Unsuccessful MiniArc sling surgery 12/07
                            Dx'd Hypothyroid
                            Dx'd Chronic Axonal Neuropathy & Myopathy
                            June 2007
                            Dx'd IC May 2006 (after suffering for 25+ yrs!)
                            First Cysto 1979
                            First Hydro 1981 (Many treatments since then!)
                            Collagin"Durasphere" injections for urethra
                            Gall bladder surgery Aug. 2004
                            Gastric Bypass Dec. 2004
                            Dx'd: Barrett's Esphogus July 2004
                            Dx'd: Vaginal Atrophy 2005
                            Bladder surgery 2000
                            Dx'd: IBS 2000
                            Hysterectomy (fibroids) 1999
                            Laminectomy 1989
                            Dx'd: Degerative Disk Disorder 1989

                            For IC I use Elmiron, Elavil and Freeze dried Aloe Vera (it works likes Elmiron, but naturally)and Azo as needed. I also take Zegerid, Randitine for Barrett's Esophagus. (which causes me to have constant yeast infections!)I take Cymbalta for Neuopathy/Myopathy pain. I use the Climara patch for menopause symptoms. I'm on a very strict diet because of the IC, IBS and Gastric Bypass. I take Primal Defense Probiotics and whole food Iron.
                            I no longer have the awful urethral pain! I've been using MSM gel now for 4 mo. and haven't had a flare up or the urethra pain.....it's amazing stuff!!:woohoo:

                            Comment

                            • #15

                              Kara: Sorry you are feeling so down today of all days. I really hope you do have a happy day after all. Sending lots of your way.

                              Mary

                              Comment

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