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The Worst MIL EVER

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  • Cali girl
    replied
    WOW!! And I thought my MIL was awful!! Jess I really do hope that after sending the letter that things turn around for you and your family. Sometimes though as with my MIL it never gets better. My hubby and I simply don't have anything to do with her. And life is good for us!! Good luck!!!

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  • ABliske
    replied
    Good job! I'm sure that letter will open his eyes. I hope it resolves the situation for good. At least, she won't be able to hide things from him unless he choose to turn a blind eye to it.
    it kind of reminds me of something with my BIL - only this is much more light hearted. My MIL was buying all this wicker furniture and storing it at my BIL's house because she didn't want her husband to know. One day she ****** off my BIL and he took all the furniture and dropped it off at her house. ha ha
    I wish you the best! Let us know how it all turns out.

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  • tigger_gal
    replied
    Jess, ask your sil if you can show her dad what a great job she did on writing about a hero. and leave it at that. if she says no, then don't. However, I think that this letter you have written, is long over do. I would mail it asap.

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  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    Jess,
    I think it's a really good idea that you send her husband the letter. If he makes the money, he has a right to know what is going on. Maybe she has put them in debt w/o him even knowing about it, he should be aware. Maybe you'll be lucky and he'll help fix this for you but even if he doesn't then at least he knows what has happened.

    I hope it doesn't hurt the relationship between you and your SIL because it sounds like she needs your support but you have to do what is best for your family and hopefully she will understand that.
    Big ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Such a horrible mess you have to deal with.

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  • ICNJess
    replied
    Thank you all for understanding. It has been a rough time. I've cried just about every day for the last 3 months. We had to borrow the money from my parents, who had to take it off a credit card that we currently have a car payment on, to get these people off our backs. Today my dad informed me that our card payment just went up because of the extra money. Now we have to come up with an extra $100 a month, thanks to the stupid bimbo that is his mother.

    The situation is so complicated. I wrote a long letter out to my step FIL outlining everything that has happened in the past few years, especially recent events. I also included the phone numbers of the three major credit bureaus for him to call so that he can see that we are not lying because I just KNOW that my MIL will try her hardest to lie her way out of this one.

    I also told him that he can call us for reciepts from the check cashing places and the post office for the money orders we sent her if he would like copies. I feel like I have covered all of my bases in burying the witch.

    I don't know if he will help us out financially but I feel like some justice will have been done and at the very least, he'll know what's going on with his life. He doesn't have any control over the finances so he knows nothing of all of this. He's an innocent party in all of this and I feel sorry for him

    It's so complicated. They have two kids together, my husband's half-sisters. They are younger, 9 years old and 14. I am close to the 14 year old. My MIL is horrible to her and just recently told her that she doesn't want to live with her anymore. How do you tell your 14 your old child that you don't want to share the same roof?? Insane. Well, hey, MIL said that to my husband when he was that age and he packed up and left her house and the state when he was 15 to be with his dad. That's when we met and we started dating a year and a half later. We've been together for 8 years almost to the day and I have never seen him in this mental shape that he is in now.

    My SIL, the 14 year old, comes to me about everything. Boys, health, make-up, school, friends, you name it. Her own older sister is a raving b*tch to her and makes her feel insignificant. This past year, on her myspace, in the Heroes section she had a nice tribute to me and in school when asked to write about someone in your life who you admire, she wrote about me. If I I send this letter to my step FIL, I am terrified that she'll feel betrayed. In the summer I try to get her out of the house a couple weekends and bring her to my house and we go shopping to get her mind off of things. I don't want to ruin that for her.

    My husband has called the house asking for his step-dad but his mom won't let him talk to him. So I came up with the idea of sending the letter to his place of work (he works in a mine so he can't get calls) and send it priority with his signature required to know that he got the letter. Since my MIL is home all day she can easily intercept the mail if we were to send it to the house, so this seems to be the route to go.

    I am no a vindictive person. I hate lies more than anything and I feel strong in the belief that we should turn the other cheek...but this is eating me alive. I want her husband to know about all of this, I just worry about the reprocussions to those who are innocent in all of this.

    Ugh! Well I think tonight I am going to talk to Chris about him getting counseling. I had first suggested it when this all began, because of all of his lying and his mother, and he agreed. I think he needs to unload his mom and dad's baggage on someone qualified. I was thinking about marriage counseling, but our insurance doesn't cover it and we can't afford it at this point. Ugh.

    Thanks for listening. I've been feeling so alone lately. Especially since our stupid internet has been down...but that's another aggrivating story.

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  • Mel53H
    replied
    I am a mother and a grandmother and I believe everything say. Vent all you want woman!!

    Severing all ties is what needs to be done. She has made her bed and now she has to lay in it. I'm wondering, has anyone from the family told her husband( the step-father)what has been happening? I really think he needs to know what has been happening, because it sounds like he does not have a clue.

    I think alot of us could write a book about in-laws. I know I could!

    Leave a comment:


  • Sarojini
    replied
    Oh, my... I really don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said, except that I'm sooooo sorry you have to deal with this situation!! It sounds AWFUL, and I hope somehow things will work out. You sure do not need this stress

    Leave a comment:


  • jaime15
    replied
    She is a very low person to compare children that way.
    Izzy is such a beautiful little girl...........I know my MIL would love her to death.
    Sometimes you just wanna shake some people......she would fit the bill.

    I hope hubby lets a very lonnnggg cooling period go before contacting her again.

    I'm so sorry for the both of you.......no matter what, he should never lie and take up for her actions.
    I agree that a good, long call is in order to the step-dad.

    Take care............

    Leave a comment:


  • ABliske
    replied
    My MIL is the same way. She's horrible. My SIL (who has 2 kids) doesn't talk to her anymore. I don't have any children yet, but I know when I do it will get worse because she acts like her grandkids are her kids. She said at Easter that if I didn't have kids she was going to adopt some foster kids. She said though that they probably wouldn't let her have them because she's on a ton of pain killers and stuff for fibromyalgia.
    She does everything to try to put a guilt trip on people. I just try not to let it bother me. Everyone else knows she's nuts.
    I think you and your hubby should distance yourself from her. Just don't try too hard to be the perfect daughter in law or anything because it sounds like you'll wear yourself out. And honestly, it helps to realize that you hubby probably won't give up on his mom 100%. You just need to try not to let her get between you. It's really wrong that he lied, but he did it with the best of intentions. Let it be a learning lesson. Sorry you are going through this. I can swap some stories with you I bet.

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  • July
    replied

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  • SandyRN
    replied
    Jess, I'm so sorry. I read your story and felt like I was reliving my life with my ex and ex MIL. She never did things financially to us, but she was forever making sure that I knew I didn't live up to the standards she'd set for her daughter in law...I remember when I graduated Nursing school the best she could say to me was, "well, you actually did it"...gee, thanks!

    My ex is forever making excuses for his mother's bad behaviour as well. I think that most boys love their mother's so much, and they don't want to think that they could possibly be vindictive, hateful people. He's probably realizing that all the things he did in good faith to help her out were mistakes and it's got to hurt him.

    Do you think he'd go to counseling? It sounds like he's had a really rough life with her and like you said, 25 years of hearing what a mistake you are can really mess someone up.


    I'm sure he doesn't want to hurt you and your daughter, but he still loves his mom, no matter what. He wants to give her the benefit of the doubt because she is his mom....know what I mean?

    I know we say it here all the time, but he really does need someone to talk to that isn't related to him, that he can totally open up to and spill his guts over all of this....maybe find a place with a sliding scale.

    I do remember the issue with the car, and I just can't believe it all has come to this....I hope he's learned a lesson from all of this.

    I hope things get straightened out soon....you've got a beautiful family and a lot of happy years in front of you.

    Hugs, Sandy

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  • dancemomof2
    replied
    WOW Jess. Someone needs to let the step dad know some of this. MAybe he would make things right if he knew.

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  • ICNDonna
    replied


    Donna

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  • GriffsMommy
    replied
    Oh wow Jess, I thought my MIL was a pain. And she really can be nasty sometimes but she would never do anything like this money thing. I'm so sorry

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  • SharonA
    replied
    Jess...I am so sorry. Sending you loads of (((hugs))).

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