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**Babs RN** · 06-24-2007, 06:30 AM

My former MIL helped fast forward the demise of our marriage. I am not saying we did not have problems(and that in the end now it was the best thing that could have happened)but she was soooo 2 faced and such a lier that I'm surprised things weren't worse. She thought I was a complete nutball with the IC(after reading women's magazines, and watching a little too much TV) and discussing me with her sister, a nurse who had not practiced or renewed her license since the early 1970's. She blames me for Lindsey's autism and tells everyone she can about that. She also had ways of taking me shopping(I thought it was just a fun thing to do)and would tell Chris that I dressed like a pauper, complained to her about how much money he let me spend on close and that he deserved someone less fat than me. I could go on and on, but the best thing for me is that I washed that Mama's boy right out of my hair and Lindsey and I are starting a new life that will make both of us whole.

Barb

**charmedx3** · 06-24-2007, 06:32 AM

here is one for you! When we annouced we were getting married she said to my son who was 5 or 6 that her son was too young to be married----25! When we annouced we were pregnant she felt we had made the worst decision! with our 3rd (including my 1st) we found out the sex BUT she didn't want to know!! try keeping that a secret! the whole neighbirhood/family/friends knew! She lived across the street from us and when my daughter was born my pubic bone separated NO HELP! I had a 7 yr old and a new born and couldn't walk!!
She took my daughter to see Grease and bought her a new outfit---down to the pantys! made her change even her panties even though they were new & clean!! She still has the dress my daughter wore to that hanging up framed! (just found that out this year!)
It gets so much better! She works for a school and has summers off and tutors OTHER kids both during summer & after school. I asked if she would tutor our kids---no response! I would pay to!
My children have NEVER spent the night with her! they have spent the night with my FIL since they were 1 month old!!
Tomorrow is my hydro and we have to be there at 745 so we are leaving early. My kids are spending the night with a friend who will drop them off at daycare so that maybe grandma can pick them up later on! BUT we don't know if she will so our friend is on alert!

This woman tells my kids she wants to take them to disneyland. never plans it and has never spent more then 2 hrs with them alone! They are
figuring it out. my kids are getting older now!

I WILL NEVER BE LIKE HER!

**tigger_gal** · 06-24-2007, 07:19 AM

Oh Jess you had to go there didn't you.. ( garage sale is not going well, and its mostly baby stuff lol)

ok back to the mil..... Ash has never been considered part of there family, because she wasn't Dave's, so needless to say I could give a rats butt about them. Ash was very insulted at David's brothers house one night, They invited her to spend the night and I did not want her to, but, did not want to hurt Ashley's feelings. that night they came down the steps from her upstairs bedroom, and told Ash to stay there on the landing. Dani asked her mother if she loved Ashley like she loved Sami, Laura and Krystia (David's sisters children) she told her no, that Ashley was [B]not family[B].

After that she heard them discussing, That Lori, his other sister was telling the MIL that David hated Ashley and wanted her to live with her father.

Another time, I was looking for my earrings and couldn't find them and Davids mother told me that he probably stoled them to sell.
Recently we called Davids mom and invited her to our house to meet jake, and she declined. We have had Jake since Jan 2005 and she has never laid eyes on him. but, then again, guess since he is not Davids biological child he is not family.

**SandyRN** · 06-24-2007, 08:37 AM

I could write a novel...the thing that started off our entire screwy relationship was that she wore black to our wedding. We had an outdoor wedding in a gazebo, and it was warm out. She literally wore a dress that she'd recently bought to wear to a funeral...no lie. If we'd had a formal wedding then black would have been perfect attire, but not to this one. My mom talks about it to this day.

When I brought home my oldest, I was young and learning how to breastfeed...she decided to grace us with her presence 2 days after I brought him home. She told me I was holding him wrong, that my breasts were too big and I was smothering him, that he was starving, on and on and on and on to the point that I took my baby, left the room, locked my bedroom door and nursed him in total private.

These things escalated to much, much worse over the years, but she's always been hypercritical of me....always.

When she found out that my hubby and I were seperating I had the most liberating day of my life. She called and told me she wanted my point of view on the story. I sat and thought about this for a minute and said, "you know, I have nothing to say to you. What your son chooses to tell you about his marriage is between you and your son. I, on the other hand, do not have to tell you anything. This is none of your business and I hae nothing to say to you, period." And I hung up. I danced around the house after that phone call because it was the first and only time I'd defended myself or spoken back to that woman.

She's cordial to me now, when she has to be...like at my son's graduation...obviously he didn't die of malnutrition when he was a newborn! LOL

There are really too many stories to tell, but she drove a major wedge between the ex and I and strained our marriage to the breaking point. I felt sorry for him because he was caught in the middle!

**ICNJess** · 06-24-2007, 10:24 AM

Good grief!!!! You know, my dad's mom is completely psychotic and a horrible MIL. My sister's MIL is insane. I am starting to wonder if it's something about having a son....I don't know??? I mean, my mom would NEVER be that way to my brother's wife (he doesn't have one, but if he did, she'd never be that way). Is it just that there are a bunch of loonies out there? Or do women think that no one can take care of their sons the way they can? I don't know.

I would LOVE to have a son someday, and I would definitely embrace his spouse as if she were my own daughter. I don't get it!!!!!

Ha I've got another gem of a memory. At my daughter's christening my MIL and her group (SIL's, other granddaughter) show up at the church in wrinkled jeans, shirts. My side and some friends were all dressed up. They gave us clothes that were waaaaaay too small for my daughter as a christening gift. Oh and it was Mother's Day weekend. She exchanged with her daughter THERE AT THE LUNCHEON and never so much as wished me a happy first mother's day!

**GriffsMommy** · 06-24-2007, 10:33 AM

My MIL has actually been really cool this weekend. She took all of the boys and the dog to the park for almost 3 hours yesterday so we got a break. Then she paid for me to get my hair cut today, haven't had it cut in a year and really needed it.
BUT she can be crazy. She lives with us, yes, I know I'm crazy but we needed the money and for the most part it works out okay. I really have to bite my tongue sometimes though. She is a total pig and leaves her stuff all over the house.
One of the craziest things that she ever did though was when hubby and I were dating and about to move in together she got mad because he hadn't plugged in a fan for her in the living room in their apartment and threw a coffee table across the room with all three of my future step children in the room. It was a small coffee table but it still really freaked me out. She was screaming her head off and stuff and we took the kids to their mom's and went back to my place for the weekend.
I had the hardest time about leaving Griffin with her after that. I don't really think that she would ever hurt him but she does have a really crazy side to her. She is the type that will scream in your face until she is all red and then the next day she will act like nothing ever happened. Even if it was her fault she will NEVER admit it or say she is sorry, you just have to go on like nothing ever happened the next day.
Oh oh oh, i just thought of another one, she screamed at me the one time and hung up on me right after I had Griffin before she lived with us. She wanted to know if hubby would go to the store and get her kitty litter or something and bring it to her, she didn't have a car. I said, I didn't know and I would have him call her when he woke up. That wasn't exceptable to her because she thought that I should answer for him. I said, I'm not him, I don't know if he'll do it or not and I'm not going to say he will when maybe he won't want to. I was still recoverying from a C-section where I gave birth to her grandson and here she is screaming at me like a crazy person on the phone about how I should just tell her if he will do it and then she hung up on me. Hubby gave her an ear full when I told him about it when he did wake up.
I have to say though that your MIL takes the cake Jess. My MIL would never do that money stuff to us. She actually pays us rent and I missed two days of work last week because my bladder was nuts. She said she'll give us an extra $60-$70 when I get my next paycheck to help out. It won't make up what I lost but it's sure nice of her to do it. If I ask my parents for money, mind you they have way more than they need, my dad will do it but will b*tch for a month about it!

***Sarojini*** · 06-24-2007, 10:51 AM

Um, I love my mother in law to death... so can I add some FATHER IN LAW horror stories??? My MIL and FIL are divorced and have remarried other people -- and I cannot stand my FIL and his wife!

Two Thanksgivings ago, FIL decided he wanted to get all of his side of the family and all of his wife's side together at these cabins up in the Smoky Mountains. Hubby and I said we would go as long as our kitty and doggie could come with us (we did not know anyone to petsit yet, since we had moved fairly recently). FIL said, "Sure, no problem."

So, the day before Thanksgiving, we both got out of work early (no small feat because both of our at-the-time bosses were slave drivers), packed ourselves up, packed the pet stuff up, packed my IC crap up (catheters, instill meds, oral meds, etc), and drove 4 hours up to these cabins.

Mind you, the trip was longer because it was pre-InterStim and I had to pee every half hour, and also because we had forgotten to take kitty's food up earlier that day and he got sick all over the car, necessitating cleanup. I was also having a horrible fibro flare and hubby would stop periodically so I could just get out and stretch, since the backseat was full with the litter box, etc and I couldn't lie down.

So, we get to this cabin setup late at night and find out we've gotta haul our stuff in the freezing cold for like half a mile to get to the cabin itself. Thankfully, hubby went first to check things out and get help. I stayed in the car, in pain from both IC and fibro, and as those of you know who have fibro/CFS, when you're flaring you can feel feverish and almost as if your skin hurts.

Well, I wait and I wait... and I wait some more, as my kitty curls up on me for warmth, and realize there must be some problem. That's when Hubby gets back, gets in the car, and slams the door. He said that Gail (FIL's wife) heard we had the pets with us and flipped out, and said we couldn't stay with them in the cabins if we had the pets!!! Now, this is AFTER we were told by FIL that we definitely could bring them. Of course, FIL did NOTHING to stand up for his comment and just let Gail tell us, at 10pm the night before Thanksgiving, after we'd made a five hour drive to see them, that we couldn't come in and would have to find a motel room or find somewhere to board the pets.

Hubby and I were livid. Where were we going to board pets at that time? And, there had been NO motels on the way up, aside for a few that were full about 60 miles away in Boone, NC. We told them we'd go check for a motel, but we were so livid that we just drove ANOTHER five hours back home. I felt horrible for our poor pets, having to be in the car like that, and I felt horrible physically--I'd felt bad before, but now that I was mad I felt worse.

When we got home the house was freezing because we'd turned the temp down since we were going to be away, and hubby just hurried and got a fire going in the stove and got me into pajamas, under an electric blanket with some pain pills and my kitty by my side.

Of course, we had NO food for Thanksgiving at home (expected to be away), but the next morning, even though he could not find turkey, Hubby got us filet mignon and lobster.

THEN, FIL calls and asks why we're not at the cabin for dinner yet!!!!!!!!!!!! Hubby yelled at him and told him the whole story and told him we were at home and didn't feel like driving four or five hours for a third time.

It was a loooooooooooong time before I was able to go visit those people or have them in my house after that.

Oh, and recently, they moved to a new house, and they kept asking us to come over and see it like, every weekend, but we had other things to do. Finally, we were free one weekend, and called them and said we could come up... guess what they had the gall to say??? "Well, now we have all of the boxes moved from the old house and storage, so... " THEY JUST WANTED US TO COME OVER TO MOVE BOXES, not to actually see us...

UGH.

**leelee88** · 06-24-2007, 10:55 AM

Well I hate to Brag, But My MIL is the greatest!! But of course this is my 3rd one..LOL So I deserved a break after the last 2.. I do have some stoies about them...

**ICNJess** · 06-24-2007, 12:19 PM

Hey Jen, your FIL story kinda was like a MIL story cuz she is married to your FIL LOL. But jeez. I think I remember you telling that one when it happened. What a pain in the butt!

GriffsMommy--I can't say I blame you for being a little nervous about leaving your son with your MIL after her little temper outbursts. That's crazy!

Ronda--Ok you can brag...you're on your 3rd so you are more than due for a good one.

I know there are some good MIL's out there...I just seem to hear about the loony ones. I'm so jealous of you lucky ones!

***ICNDonna*** · 06-24-2007, 05:16 PM

I think I may put a flack jacket on my shopping list! I'm a step-mother to four and MIL to SIX! (((((((((((((((((((((me hiding)))))))))))))))))))))))

::::::giggle:::::::
Donna

**ads** · 06-24-2007, 06:02 PM

Dr. Phil's website has a lot of great info on MILs and it seems to be on of his top show subjects. His website has useful info for free.

I wish you the best in dealing with your mean MILs.

ads

**ICNJess** · 06-25-2007, 03:03 AM

LOL You're safe here, Donna--we love you!

**mary124** · 06-25-2007, 06:59 AM

Here is mine, it might just top all of yours--- I don't know as I haven't read all of the stories, just glance though them.

When my MIL was alive she was the WORST!! Before her son and I was married she thought I was the greatest thing to slice cheese (or whatever!!)
but after we got married all H--- broke loose!) first it started with her not getting an invite to the wedding--she did they just received one for the family, I mean, I was not going to send one to each member of the household when they all lived there.
then the kids came along, well, apparently we didn't feed them right, she was on a health food kick, which is fine, I'm not knocking it, but you can only go so far. She wanted my kids to stay with her and not for just a night but for weeks, month, but for ever, (they were just babies!!) she was trying to keep the kids and raise them as hers, as her first daughter who had a baby many years ago did something and somehow Mom convence a Judge that the daughter wasn't in her right mind to raise a child.(Mom got guardianship of the kid) after awhile things quieted down and she moved near us! My husband thought wow, we have a built in baby sitter for the kids, by then, we were getting along ok, so I said with 2 kids in day care during the summer it was going to be tough, so she watched them, but the problem with that was that she would keep them from like 7am to 11pm at night (right before my husband came home from work (he was self employed so he worked long hours drove out of town lots of nights) this of course, caused a lot of fights between my husband & me and when we had it out with the 3 of us, my husband took her side, and when I asked him why, he said that he could put up with me and my yelling then with her!! I don't know how long this went on, but one day she called CPS on us, and said I was abusing my youngest son on such and such days, (now, on these days she had my kids!!-- how stupid can you be??) Luckily, I worked even then for the State and had friends in CPS but given that it was a Friday my friends couldn't help so I had to go thru the routine. My kids had to be seperate from me for the whole weekend and stay with a relative --guess who?-- her!!) finally on the Monday my case was assigned to a worker and they looked at it, and said "they couldn't do that as they knew who I was and that the allegations was all wrong they knew what was going on plus the fact that on the days that were mentioned I was in the hospital (yes the hospital having surgeries since these were 2 different allegations- so of course had doctors notes as well) when all was said and done I did get the kids and the Supervisor and the police said to me said to go get my kids and NEVER, EVER LET HER SEE THEM AGAIN (IN fact, they said I would never let HER see them at all) so we went to go get them; we had trouble getting them as she believe that she was right and all of us were wrong so we had to call the social worker and the police to come and get them from her. This was a long time ago (kids were 5 and 9 -- they are now 19 and 23 but you never can forget something like this--even my husband can't forgive his mom). The few times that we seen her in public she looked at us and or the kids with hatred on her face, and when my eldest went overseas my brother in law who is the only one we talk to said that he talked to their Mom and her response was "who is Eddie? he said your son's and his wife first child. She said I don't have a Son name Joe and a DIL name Mary and I don't have a grandson name Eddie. "

Now how sad is that? She died recently, and of course Joe went to go see her, right before and she opened up her eyes just for a second and told him to go to he--!! The family took her ashes to be placed with his fathers when she died, and he told me he said "you know, I wish I could forgive her for what she did to you and the boys but I just can't. I hope she riots in H---"

Now that she is gone, we do talk to my Sister in Laws now and then, one of them I really don't associate with as much, but the other one when she can she will call me and check on me as she knows that I am ill. Both know how she treated me and both keeps telling me how sorry they are, but still.

I am sorry this is so long. But this is my Worst Mother in Law story.

**ICNJess** · 06-25-2007, 09:21 AM

OMG Mary how horrible! What a spiteful woman full of hatred!!!! I'm just in shock...what a psycho!!!!

I am so sorry you went through all of that. What a mess. And then to say that to her son on her deathbed...my God...

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