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Getting rid of meme

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  • Getting rid of meme

    I've decided to give Meme away (my maltese). I just can't do it anymore. I told Mike last week that I wanted to give her away, I'm begining to hate her, and he talked me out of it. Said that "we" had worked too hard with her and that we shouldn't give up on her. When we got Meme she was already 3yrs old. The lady who had her had never trained her. She was allowed to go potty all over the house and was never repremanded for barking all the time. The lady went into a nursing home and her brother was put in charge of Meme, and I don't know what happened he did to her ( I know him, he's an a%%h#[email protected]), but she always used to cower down whenever men approached her. We broke her of that but she won't potty train, barks all the time, and bites anyone who walks away from her. I had decided to give it one last shot, thought that Mike was going to help me a little more since HE wanted to keep her.

    Well, today was the last straw. I've been kenneling her every night (for like the past 2mos) to keep her from going potty on my floors and this morning I put her out to go to the bathroom. She ran out there and then barked at the door so I let her in and went to take my shower. I get out and walk to my room and step in dog poop That was it!!!! And this happens while Mike is sleeping 2ft from her So, I was shaking I was so angry and when I woke up I told him-she's gone! I was shaking all morning- and of course then I flared because I was so mad.

    Now I feel bad because Mike put this guilt trip on me, then I go to work and they're all like..."and you want to have a baby?!" That hurt so much. I just wanted to cry all morning. They just kept up with how you can't give a baby away when it's two and all that. I feel horrible. I don't think that my mothering skills should be judged because I can't handle this dog. I have lots of animals and I do great with all of them, but she's impossible.

    I hate her, I really do. And that makes me so mad because I love animals so much and I feel like she's taking that away from me. Mike wants to find her a good home, but at this point I don't even care, as long as she's not with me.

  • #2
    Oh Leah,
    I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this. I know exactly how you feel. We had a mastif, they are these huge dogs. Lula was about 100 lbs when she was full grown. She was the most timid dog that you had ever met though. She never potty trained right for some reason. The more you would try to push her out the door to go the more she would resist. Eventually my hubby had had it, he stepped in pee one morning and he took her to the pound. I still feel bad about it but Griffin was just starting to crawl and we didn't want to have to worry about that.
    I wouldn't worry about your co-workers or anybody else. Life is hard enough as it is, if you can't handle this dog then get rid of her. This does not mean that you are going to be a bad mom, that's crazy. You can't compare taking care of a dog to taking care of a baby. I got rid of Lula, does that mean that I'm a bad mom to Griffin, I don't think so. I know that it's a hard but you have to do what is best for everyone.

    I have been diagnoised for 6 1/2 years now. I have taken a long break from the ICN but really miss helping out my fellow IC patients and want to get back into posting.
    1st hydro 4/07 showed no visible signs of IC but tons of mast cells in all my biopsy samples which did prove IC.
    2nd hydro 4/13/09 showed dark purple glomerulations and I had a capacity of 450 cc's. This hydro proved that my IC had progressed.
    I have tried every oral medication as well as rescue instills and DMSO.

    I have been lucky enough to see Dr Hanno, the top IC specialist in PA who has told me due to the fact that I have not responded to any "standard" treatments that I have a severe, end stage case of IC with a horrible quality of life (didn't have to tell me that last part!)

    Proud wifey of Shane, mommy to Griffin, and step-mom to Logan and Gage
    Also proud mom to the best Bullmastiff on earth, Claus


    • #3

      I totally understand what your going through. Your dog sounds a pain in the ***. I would have had it too. It's not like you bought ur dog when it was a puppy and couldnt take care of it. I do understand your frustration. Maybe try taking her to a personal doggie trainer. They work wonders on dogs. I would say giving meme away would be a last resort. Deffinitly try looking for a person who can really train dogs. I watched them on tv... I dont remeber where but there was this cute little doggie who wouldnt let anyone near the wife. The dog tried to practically kill everyone that touched her. It barked non-stop. They brought it to a trainer and the dog is so different. I dont know how they do it but it works!!!
      I dont think this has anything to do with your mothering skills. Don't let people put you down and dont stress about it to make yourself sick!!!! After work go to somewhere to calm down.... Maybe buy a new pair of shoes or handbag!!! I know you love them! If you need to vent more. pm me!


      Dance like no one is watching
      Love like you've never been hurt
      Live today like it's your last

      Dxd with IC in June '06


      • #4
        I just had to give my dog away. I got her in Dec. at the shelter, she was near death and she was small and so calm. So we adopted her, she was housebroken but as we nursed her back to health she was a sweetie, but needed alot of exercise (border collie mix). I am a single mom, and my children were not willing to exercise her and I am unable. I did love her, but she caused me so much anxiety, that I made the decision to find her a home, and so I ran a ad in the paper and got around 20 calls. I found a great home for her, one that has 3 active older boys, they had 6 acres, with 50 acres next door and inground pool. I am getting updates from the family and she is so happy, so much room to run. I missed her terribly from the snuggles she use to give me, but I do not miss sweeping 3 times a day to get up pet hair, having to get up when I didn't or couldn't want to, so even though this dog, seems totally unbearable and is not a good fit for you, doesn't mean you will treat your children that way. Just know you did all you could.


        • #5
          Maybe a dog trainer would help but then can you afford one? Meme is the way she is because of her previous owners so she is acting the way she was brought up to. She might need an older owner with just one person around? I know Patches was afraid of men when I first brought her in. took a long time to where she would stay in the room with someone other then me and still she gets freakish around men. Animals are hard to figure out. They can't talk to you and tell you their problems or what happened to them. Sorry it didn't work out.


          • #6
            How long have you had this dog? We took a two-year old dog out of an abusive situation. He wasn't trained bc. he had never been allowed in the house; they kept him on a six foot chain on a concrete patio, in all weathers, for almost two years. Animal control finally took him away from them, and we adopted him. But he trained right away (we have another dog who is perfectly housebroken, so Rusty just copied him); I mean, he tried marking the house at first but not for more than two weeks. But it took an entire year before he could be considered a well behaved, socialized animal. And we did have the help of a professional trainer.

            I think you do need to get rid of this dog, but it's going to be hard to find a home for a grown-up, untrained dog. You may have to give her in to a shelter. Some of them have no-kill policies.

            This has nothing to do with your parenting skills. Anyone who says that is just ignorant. In fact, I would be reluctant to bring a baby into a home that contained a dog like Meme. So you're actually being a good theoretical mother. I can't believe people would criticize your parenting skills before you even have children. Those people are just reaching for something to criticize. It's insane.

            Good luck with the situation.
            Je vous souhaite de la joie, de la bonne santée, et tout ce qu'il y a de bon dans la vie.
            Wishing you happiness and good health, and all the best out of life.

            Peace, Carolyn

            Laura (11), Susannah (12 1/2) and Maman (that's me!), North Wildwood NJ, September 2007

            On the Beach with IC


            • #7
              that was just rong of them.. I hate cats, but that don't mean I would be mean to my child or anyones. I think it was wrong how they treated you.
              'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'


              • #8
                that was just wrong of them.. I hate cats, but that don't mean I would be mean to my child or anyones. I think it was wrong how they treated you.
                I had a res min pin.. I loved and hated that dog. one day I went to work and came home, this little dog ate a whole cushion off my new couch, ate a hole threw the bed spread, blanket, sheets and as working on the bed, and my curtains off my window. I know how you feel about hating a dog. btw, his lived up to his name ivan the terrible
                'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'


                • #9
                  I agree with the others here. I am sorry that your coworkers were so insensitive. I also agree that you would have to get rid of a dog that bites and poops on the floor before you could have children anyway. You cant have a baby crawling on a floor that the dog could have pooped on. (And it definately could happen! The dog could do it and the baby could be in it before you saw the poop.) Also, you cant possibly risk having a dog bite your baby. So, you ARE going to be a good mother and are already protecting your future child by getting rid of those hazards now.

                  I had a cat for 7 yrs before my son was born. But, when I got pregnant, I knew that as much as I loved her, she was not a child. The cat had to go because she had something wrong with her and she sneezed constantly (green snot would be all over everything!) The vet didnt know what was wrong with her and wanted to send her off for tests that cost thousands of dollars and he told us that even then, we STILL probobly wouldnt know what was wrong or be able to fix it! We couldnt afford to spend that on her. (We had already spent over $800 on her! I mean I loved her, but I never lost sight that she was a cat. And though I wouldnt spend thousands for tests that "may or may not" d/x my cat, if Collin was sick, there is no limit to what I would spend, even if I never found out the cause, I would NEVER quit looking. But he is my child, not my cat. So, there is no connection to being a good mother to having to get rid of an animal. (I sent my cat to live with my parents. I hated to do that to the cat, but hey, I had to live with them for 17 yrs, surely the cat could stand it for a couple! )

                  I hope that your husband will agree with you about the dog. I do agree that finding a home may not be easy, and may take time, but if it isnt done, it may start to cause you and your husband to fight, and it is not worth the potential marital problems because of an animal. Human relationships have to come first! I hope he comes around and sees this too. I also hope that you find the dog a new home quickly.

                  Sending hugs and support,