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sexual abuse and ic???

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  • cliatreuh
    replied
    IC and sexual abuse

    Yeah, I have allergies that have gotten worse the last six months. I have unbelievably sensitive sinuses. The get swollen at times and I have asthma attacks. They aren't very frequent but I do use albuteral and another spray medication. I cna't remember the name. I get so horribly sensitive at times I can't stand the smell of perfume and other irritants. I hate dust and dry environments. They are torturing for me. THat is where I get asthma or anxiety attacks. Some times I'm not sure what it is. I also have very sensitive skin. My hands get swollen and red when I vacum or sweep at times. Just holding the steering wheel will make them burn, get red and hurt. I used a facial cream not too long ago and my eyes got awfully swollen, my cheeks and face got swollen. I looked like the elephant man. It was so scary. My IC has not been easy to diagnose by Dr's. I'm going to see a specilist at UW HOspital. I pissess me off when children get abused. I would like to see predators in jail.
    Have a good day or night.
    CLIA

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  • Moonheart
    replied
    Yep, me too. All of it. I feel like my body is trying to attack itself. It got worse in the fall and is surprisingly getting somewhat better with the time change and the improved weather.

    It's all just fascinating.

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  • MelissaT
    replied
    hi cliatreuh,
    I am very sorry for the terrible things that you had to go through. I wonder sometimes how we get through it all.
    It is very odd how much we have in common. I also have alergies and asthma. I am very sensitive to cigarette smoke. Everytime I am around it I have an attack. This didn't used to be as much of a problem as it is now. I could always smell it and move away, now I can't smell so I don't know that I am around it until I see it or start having an attack.
    After my last sinus surgery I lost my sense of smell, which also means that I have lost my sense of taste. But looking on the bright side, it helps me stay on the diet.
    I think you are right about stress. My mom passed away in December. My whole body seems to have turned against me. I have been having a lot of problems with my memory, do you? Anybody else? I am having problems remembering things that I shouldn't forget.
    I think we will all get through this whole mess in time. Sometimes it just seems like it takes a long time.

    Melissa

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  • cliatreuh
    replied
    Hi Melissa and everyone!

    I coudn't believe it when I read your email. You sound just like my situation. My IC has gotten a lot worse the last few months but I have had it for years. I remember signs of it ever since I was a child. I was also sexually abused by an adult repeated times for many years. I always attributed these symptoms to nerves/anxiety and the abuse. I would say these were body memories. I can't deny it's a medica thing now because it is just too obvious and I have spent many years trying to make it psychological. Like you I also have problems with my sinuses. I have horrible IBS that triggers my IC. I have allergies and am prone to asthma! I also have fibromyalgia. This isn't disabling but I am terrified it will get bad and I will become completely unable to work too. I am a counselor and I would be devastated if I wasn't able to continue working. Can you believe how alike we are? I have been in counseling for many years and therapy has helped me deal with a lot of my trama. It was so much though. It was worse than hell. The perpetrator was my biological father. I was also abused by my brother and an uncle. My father was an alcoholic and he would batter my mother all the time. So I grew up in a war zone. You never knew when you were going to die.
    Yes I have read stress worsens all these symptoms. I also read about inflamation problems that people with a genetic diference have. It has to do with the immune system. It attacks normal tissue believing there is a problem with that. It is kind of like a person who is predisposed to be diabetic and overeating triggers that dispositionl. So is these inflamation issues are triggered by chronic stress. I practice deep breathing, relaxation exercises and do a lot of sadness and anger release work. The abuse was too much that I really can't make all the stress leave. I would be worse if I didn't have therapy. I hope you do get better. I have heard a lot of hopeful stories here. I am sure there must be things we can do to help ourselves.

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  • MelissaT
    replied
    Hi Mauibabe,
    I am sorry about the things that happened to you. You would think that we have dealt with enough and then we find out we have ic. It is kinda a relief thougt, to know that it isn't all in your head.
    When I would tell the dr. that I had pelvic pain and that I was abused it was always "in your mind because of the abuse".
    I was also diagnosed with a lot of uti's and bladder infections over the years. I am scheduled for a hydrodistillation the first week of April.
    I am glad that your husband is supportave. It helps a lot!!

    MelissaT

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  • mauibabe
    replied
    Melissa T.

    Hi friend,
    I, too, am a survivor of sexual abuse. For many years as a young child I was molested by my brother. I have often thought that all of the problems that I've had throughout the years with feminine things is directly related to the abuse. As others have told you, talking this out with a counselor is the very best thing you can do for yourself. Once I did that, and discovered that I was not the cause of this but the victim I was able to move on. What I did was write a letter to my perpetrator and gave the gilt to him. I'd carried it long enough. I suspect you have too. I was diagnoised with IC this past November by my OBGYN after many years of being treated for UTI's and bladder infections. My husband is a God send and stands by me through it all. I followe the diet guideslines to a tee and most days feels "normal". Good luck and know that you are in good company. We are all survivors of the past and now we all have something else in common. There is victory in numbers.
    Jan

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  • Berkshire Road
    replied
    I am so amazed to see this thread right at this time. My closest childhood friend was sexually abused as a kid by her older brother. She now has fibro, undifferentiated connective tissue disorder, MASSIVE chronic depression, etc. She just started seeing a counselor due to issues with her ex-husband and teenage son. At the first visit, she doesn't know why, she started talking about her brother. So, the therapist wants to persue this with her, but she would rather keep it repressed.

    I told her, "If you started the conversation with the doctor, you are ready to talk about it. And you need to talk about it, it's festering inside you." I don't know what will happen with her. She does not have IC, but a lot of related conditions.

    I, too, was abused as a child, not sexually, but physically by a sibling and verbally, emotionally, by a parent. On the other hand, I had my first UTI before I was nine months old, and I'm pretty sure the abuse hadn't started at that point. I don't know if any of this contributes much to the discussion, but it's so interesting how things come up on the Boards sometimes, right when they are on your mind.

    Thank you all for sharing your dreadul experiences. You are all women of great courage.

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  • MelissaT
    replied
    Moonheart,
    I am so sorry that you and your daughter are having to go through this. I wish there was something I could do. Just remember you are a very strong woman and you can get through this and help your daughter to get through it.

    MelissaT

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  • Moonheart
    replied
    Thank you Melissa. I am so glad that we all can be here for each other. I remember the times when I've been completely alone and had to try to deal with these things on my own. It's devastating.

    I know what you mean about being out of your mind with fear. When my daughter said the words, "I didn't want to do it, I didn't want to do it", I KNEW right then what she meant. Sheets of ice cold electrical shocks go through your body and you just want it to be not true, but it is. Thinking of your husband with your daughter has to be literally the worst thing a mother can have to have in her mind. It's so hard to get it out of your head. I hope no one else has to go through such devastation like that.

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  • MelissaT
    replied
    Thank you all so much for your help. Baileyrose, I will definately get the book. My husband also tries to understand, but just can't. From what you said I think this book might help him understand. I know that it is very hard to completely undertand unless you go through it. I remembet the first time that he really realized how traumatic it is for me. I thought "he" was outside my home. I was not rational and was terrified. My hubsand looked around the house and then came back and held me for hours until I became rational again. I am a lot better since then but I still have nightmares and bad feelings a lot. Thank you for sharing I am starting to realize that it is good to talk about it.
    Leelee, I am not sure who hurt me. My mom and dad were having trouble. My dad went out on my mom. So she returned the favor. Me and my sister think that it was the man she was seeing. This man died in prison for hurting a 78 year old woman(he killed her) and a 6 year old girl. I have tried to forgive him, but he has taken so much away from me. I guess he still has some control over me. Thank you Leelee, I will work on it.
    Moonheart, I am soooo sorry for what happened to you and your daughter. I can't imagine what you are going through. My daughter had blood on her panties once. I rushed her to the dr. it turned out to be nothing. She fell on a toy. But I was almost out of my mind with fear. I wish you all the best.

    Thank you all so much for sharing these things with me I feel so honored. I am realizing that talking to people who really understand what you have gone through really helps.

    MelissaT

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  • leelee88
    replied
    Anytime Moonheart!!!(((((((((hugs))))))))))

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  • Moonheart
    replied
    Thank you Ronda. ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

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  • leelee88
    replied
    Moonheart,

    I am sorry you had to go through that..
    But I could not imagine having to relive it again through one of my kids.
    That must of been heart breaking..You are a very strong woman, because if someone had abused one of my boys there no telling what I would have done to that person.. I will be praying for your daughter and you hoping she will be able to get through this, but im sure she will because she has you
    God Bless you and your daughter.

    Ronda

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  • Moonheart
    replied
    Originally posted by Moonheart View Post
    I was sexually abused by a "friend's" neighbor when I was 10-11yrs old, and also by the "friend" herself. I also saw her abusing my younger brother. I black out also. Right after she leads me into her neighbors basement, I see lots of porn magazines and then everything goes black.

    My daughter was molested by my husband a couple years ago, and now she too is showing "bathroom issues" and getting pain in her stomach and other areas.

    It makes me so angry that it keeps being perpetuated. My husband was molested at the same age he molested my daughter, by his brother. It just seems like the cycle has to end somewhere, but it never does.
    I wanted to add after reading Baileyrose's post, that my Uro KNEW as soon as he started talking to me and then examining me, that I had be sexually molested. He asked me point blank and has been really healing for me. He's extremely gentle and kind when exmamining me, and never makes me feel ashamed for my reactions or anything. He's really a Godsend. I feel like he's a grandfather type or something. Just a real dear.

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  • Moonheart
    replied
    I was sexually abused by a "friend's" neighbor when I was 10-11yrs old, and also by the "friend" herself. I also saw her abusing my younger brother. I black out also. Right after she leads me into her neighbors basement, I see lots of porn magazines and then everything goes black.

    My daughter was molested by my husband a couple years ago, and now she too is showing "bathroom issues" and getting pain in her stomach and other areas.

    It makes me so angry that it keeps being perpetuated. My husband was molested at the same age he molested my daughter, by his brother. It just seems like the cycle has to end somewhere, but it never does.

    Leave a comment:

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