Angel will be starting physical therapy...

[angelportia]

Hi all. Angel has been having a real tough time. I feel so bad for her. Ever since the day she cut that boys finger with her sissors, she has been so touchy and cries so easily. Well, Saturday we went out to eat with my mother and sister and my aunt and uncle and my cousin and someone I didn't know. Angel doesn't know my aunt and uncle and cousin at all. It was the first time she had seen them.
Well, I could tell so was stressed. She was acting up big time. She cried half the time we were there - if not more. I was getting so stressed out! Portia kept screaming cuz she would eat all her food and want more - she is such a porker! But, when we would give Portia some of Angel's food, Angel flipped out! She wasn't even eating her food. Portia ate two pancakes in the time that Angel didn't even eat 1/4 of 1 pancake. We told Angel that we were ordering more food for her and Portia, but even when the food came she still kept going! Cracker Barrel is an irritating environment for me. It's loud and "busy". That place can stress me out even without the girls being crabby! Well, I think the whole situation caused a lot of stress for Angel too.
About two hours after we left I was going to go to the store to get some tampons, but Angel started crying and said that her tummy hurt real bad. She couldn't even hardly sit up. So, I took her home to relax.
Sunday wasn't much better. Then, Monday morning she wet her bed. Then, while I was at an appointment, I got a call from her school Monday morning and she said that Angel had wet her pants and was crying. I called her uro cuz of the way Angel has been feeling. Well, her uro had me bring Angel right in. The checked to see if she had an infection. She didn't. So, after I told her what had been going on, she said that it is the stress that is causing problems for Angel. And, she said that we are going to start her with physical therapy. I hope it helps.
I am also going to start having her see her psychologist once a week instead of once every two weeks for a while.
It got worse Monday night. But, it had nothing to do with her bladder. She and Portia were playing in their room and I heard Angel tell Portia to come out and tell me that Angel pooped in her pants. Well, I waited for Angel to tell me. Lol... it only tood a couple of minutes. Well, about and hour after we got that cleaned up, she came out crying again and told me that it happened again. Can you imagine how stressed I was!! Well, when I went to help clean that up, I saw a lot of mucusy stuff. I don't believe that is totally normal. She didn't even have the runs.
She seems to be doing a little better now.

ooopps! Time to get the girls up.
Heather

[dyno]

Heather,
It sounds like you have a lot going on here. I am glad she is going to get some more help. Kids react in the only way they know how to and sometimes they have to learn more appropriate ways to tell someone what is bothering them. Just keep working the problems and sooner or later things will hopefully turn around.

Now don't forget to take care of you too. If you are stressed the kids react to that too. Try to find a support system so you can have some "me time" to keep your stress level down. I am glad you are coming here to the boards because this can also be a good place to get support, but nothing can replace your family and friends giving you a break.
Take care and good luck. Sending hugs your way.

Jolene grouphug grouphug

[angelportia]

Angel has been seeing a psychologist for almost two years. I had to start her because of some problems she had (understandably) after some abuse she went through at a few daycares. (And, people wonder why I won't work outside of the home til they both are in school!) Angel has been through way too much for a 5 y/o. I wish I could just take away all of her pain so that she could feel better emotionally and physically.
Portia won't be able to understand much of anything about what Angel is feeling or going through for a while. She is only a year and a half old. She is usually a great kid, but when it comes to food.... Well, let's just say that I spend a LOT of time cooking and washing dishes. And, it's funny cuz she is so tiny! But, when she wants something, it's right now. Otherwise she sits and screams. And, her screams hurts your ears.
I guess I wouldn't be so stressed out if I had help once in a while. But, I have no one to help with anything. My family says "you made your bed, now lay in it." While it's true that I made the decisions that I have made, I did not ask for Angel to have so many problems. I did not ask to get raped and get preg with Angel. I did not ask to get preg with Portia either. I didn't know that the hormone meds would make the depo shot un-effective! I do the best I can to do the best I can for the girls. And, I do forget about me. But, that's easy to do when I am so busy taking care of the girls and I have my almost 7 week old neice half of the time.
I have been alone for so long that I feel like I will die alone. I know I have my girls but I need adults too! And, I would love to be married again someday. But, I don't even know how to meet guys anymore! All I know is how to raise my girls. I can't even get away. I can't afford to pay anyone to watch them and my family won't help. All I want is to go to a movie or something. But, I couldn't even afford to do that! And, for finding a guy.... well, that is so hard! Most of them are superficial pigs! They want a perfect girl. I have given birth to 5 children. I might be thin.... but, my tummy isn't firm anymore. It seems that guys don't want to take the time to get to know a woman unless she is perfect. And, then when guys do get to know me, the think they love me cuz "I am so easy to talk to and they feel safe with me." But, they can't stand the rest of me! But, I guess that is partly because I never meet the kinds of guys I want to meet cuz I am too chicken and think that they are too good for me. I mean, I have two little girls with me all of the time, I am on disability, my cars are total junk, and I am always stressed out. I don't wear make-up anymore cuz that's the last thing on my mind. It costs money and it takes at least a couple of minutes to put on.
Gee... sorry... rambling again. I am just feeling like the whole world is on my shoulders. I just want to meet people. People who I can get along with. And, not people at a church. I don't go to church (personal beliefs). But, where else can ya go to meet people with two kids with ya?! I don't even know how to talk to people anymore. I know how to make guys feel comfortable and "safe". I know how to get them to open up to me and talk about anything and everything. I am basically their "psychologist". That's not what I want! I know Angel would be happy too if I found someone. She still tells me that she misses Josh - Portia's dad. And, I understand why. But, what she didn't know what that he had a big drinking problem. He lied a lot about important things and he cheated on me. But, I know that she would be happier and I would be happier if I could find a boyfriend. (gee... the word "boyfriend" is starting to sound funny to me! Lol... makes me think of teenagers!)
Anyway, right now I just want Angel to get better. That is my main focus.

Sorry for rambling.... but, I needed it. Thanks for being there. Really... thanks.

Heather

[ICNJess]

Hi Heather--

Your story is just so heartbreaking. And your family--that is irritating. I come from a family that if one suffers, you suffer with them. Your family needs to stand by you and help you, especially with Angel's health problems.

You are a great mom, and I think you should give yourself a pat on the back for raising two young girls by yourself, and loving them as much as you do. Doing the best you can with what you've got. I didn't have much when I was younger, but I had a lot of love from my parents, and that will always hold a candle to those kids that had a dozen toys and what not growing up. I think when Angel and Portia are older, they will look back and realize how wonderful their mom was.

You give them love and attention, and care, and that's so wonderful, especially since you are battling your own IC battles. I really wish that your family could help you out!!! I wish I could help you! My sister has 2 kids, and she pulls her hair out when school is out for the day (ages 6 and 3, the 6 yr. old goes to 1st grade, 3 yr. old goes to a pre-K type thing at church). She's got her husband to help, but her hair is turning gray awfully quick. wink

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. You were given those two precious gifts because you are the best one for them. And I bet someday you will meet your Prince Charming. If he isn't willing to be with you because he doesn't appreciate the whole you and your kids, he's not worth it.

So vent on! We're always here to listen. I just feel so bad, I wish I could come over and baby sit so you could get out for awhile!!

Hang in there, your break will come. I hope that Angel feels better soon, and that things look up. She's so young, and to be dealing with IC at that age is just horrible! I know, been there done that. I don't think I was fully potty trained till I was 12 LOL. (It didn't make it easier that when I had to go to the bathroom in class, the teachers wouldn't let me because I should've gone "during the break" even though I did and had to go again!!)

Hugs and love,
Jess

[dyno]

I don't know where you live but sometimes there are programs available through the county or something to help people in your situation. Maybe we have some social workers or somebody on here who knows more about this than I do but if you have no one to help you from time to time, you are going to burn out.

I don't know much about it but there is a group called Parents without Partners. Maybe something like that would be a thought. They do family things too and that would give you a chance to meet some people. My heart goes out to you.

Jolene

[ICNDonna]

Just a thought, but if you are baby sitting with a niece, perhaps her mother would return the favor occasionally, even if it's just to take care of your youngest --- that way you could do some things with Angel without her having to compete.

Warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[jaime15]

Well I agree with Donna. You should be able to leave your kids with your sister from time to time. You help her out..
You said too that you have five kids. Is one old enough to watch your two younger ones for 10 minutes, say, so you could go sit outside?
You do have to take a break from time to time.
I'm glad you can be there when they come home.
You're doing everything and more because you have to make up for what some family members should help you do. I don't know the situation there but sometimes family can be soooo in the wrong.
Hang in there. I hope Angel has a better week. wink

[Katrina]

Being someone who has IC and was very sick at a young age if you ever think I can help you, let me know. Best of luck and God's Blessings to your whole family.

[angelportia]

I am sorry about the earlier posts I posted. I was very stressed and depressed.
I have looked for programs and stuff to help, but there just isn't much here. There are two options around here. One of them is a daycare that helps if help is really, really needed. It's hard to find an opening there. They are usually filled up early. I won't know that I will need a break til that time comes. So they have only helped once - when I had to go help my sis give birth.
The other program... well, I don't trust them. The are one of the groups that don't ask - they just accuse. They reported me to child protection for Angel not being potty trained last winter. They didn't even ask why she wasn't potty trained! I have no trust for those people.
Things are getting a little better. For the most part.
Angel is feeling a little better now. She likes doing her physical therapy exercises. She loves the tummy massages - to help with her BMs. I made a special massage oil to use for her tummy rubs with essential oils and Sweet Almond oil. It helps with constipation. She said that it's easier to "poop" now. Now, if only I could figure out a good combo to help with the runs!

Thanks to everyone for being there. You are all wonderful people!

Love,
Heather