Possable IC

[Zookeeper]

I think my daughter has IC but she wont go in & get tested.She said,she don't have it,but I noticed after she asked me to make her speghette she was in alot of pain & insited it was nothing.
She has stoped drinking pop and I only follow my diet for IC,But you know how it is she is 18 and knows it all & eats with friend alot so I can't make her stick to the diet if she's not home to eat with us.
Does anyone know how I can bring the subject up again without her thinking i'm crazy & worry to much.I have not talked about it in awhile but she is hurting again & I think it's time to talk to her again about IC. banghead
Take care, Zookeeper Kim

P.S. I don't know if this is the right spot to post but thought it might be beter to get input from here since this is for young adults with IC.

[ICNDonna]

I know it's hard for you, but it could be that the more you try to get your daughter to see a urologist, the more determined she will be to not do it. It sometimes happens when they reach her age --- the thing that's hardest to accept is that our children do grow up and have to make their own decisions (been there, done that). It can be so hard to watch them, especially if they make poor decisions at times.

One of these days she'll make her own decision that she needs help.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[ICNJess]

Hi Kim,

I'm 20 with IC. When I began having severe problems due to IC, my mother insisted that I go in and be checked, even though I didn't want to get twisted in the tangled web of doctors. And I went in, and I had to go through so many docs to get my diagnosis, because I am so young.

But you, you have IC, you have a treating doctor and you know all about it. I guess what made me go in was the worry and strain I put on my mother by being sick. She and I are very close, and it hurt me to be hurting her.

Maybe if you just sat down with her and discussed that your symptoms mirror each other, and that it would be harmless to find out?

That way, should it happen to be IC, she can get on the track to treatment! Lots of luck, please keep us posted!!!

Hugs and love,
Jess grouphug

[JillB]

Hi Kim,
Sorry to hear about your daughter. I'm 23 and have always hated doc apts. Urging your daughter to go may be the only thing you can do. She is probably doing what we all do at first: avoid the inevitable. I know that it wasn't until my pain became intollerable that I became motivated. Some of us have to learn the hard way.
Good Luck,
Jill

[Doc]

Kim,

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Clearly, I think she needs to talk with someone about how she's feeling and what she's been experiencing. Though I am 31 now, I've had IC since I was 14 and often council people I meet thru the ICN and also thru my own IC 20-something support group.

Please feel free to have your daughter contact me if she wants to talk. Best...

Jeff
[email protected]

[Zookeeper]

Thanks so much for the input.I will find a way to talk with her without being a pain.We have a great relationship & it's hard to watch her when she hurts so(naturally i'm mom)I can only hope she will listen this time & I will try to respect her choice & pray she gets in to be checked before she gets as bad as me.
I think she expects that if she is not as bad as me she can't have it so will try to explain it alittle beter to her.
thanks for the offer Jeff. It's so nice that we have so much support here.
I'll keep you posted.
Take care! Zookeeper Kim

[Alexa]

Dear Zookeeper,

Just wondering how you and your daughter are doing. Have they determined whether or not she has IC? Either way, let us know how you're doing. Take care, sending lots of hugs to you both grouphug grouphug

Alexa

[Zookeeper]

Thanks Alexa,
I haven't pushed but have been giving hints.my husband thinks I should leave it alone until she is hurting again,It seems so mean though.
She already blames other parents for the passing of bad geans onto the children.a phase that they must go through,That is a long story about another friend of hers and a little about me as far as pregnancies go(another long story).
She has today off of work and am planing to talk with her again.I hope atleast I get the point across about how it affects everyone differently this time.
Thanks for the support & take care,
Zookeeper Kim

[Melis 26]

I know everybody is different but I find it hard to believe that she wouldn't want to know what's wrong with her. So, she's 18 right? It's not like you can make her go in. If I were you I'd TRY to make her. I don't know if that sounds mean but the longer you guys delay the more serious her symptoms may become. Try to remember that even if she fights it and stuff, you are actually helping her and def. NOT hurting her. Just make the appt. for her and tell her you'll drive her. At least (if she goes) she'll know what's wrong with her. Then, you can cross the bridge of treatment and getting her to cooperate when that time comes, too. Just take it one day at a time. Tell her she's not alone and it isn't in her head. Tell her she'll get worse if she doesn't help herself. Tell her she needs to go in if she wants to get better. Don't take no for an answer. Isn't she living with you? Use that as your excuse to make her. "As long as you live under my roof....." etc. Plus, she may only have a simple uti that can be treated quickly. Tell her that. If she's afraid, just be there for her and be understanding. She won't be alone unless the parents make it that way. Making her go will be the best thing you did for her. Good luck and I hope it isn't ic.

melis

[Melis 26]

it's me again. one more thing. i love my parents and all but i don't think they did enough for me when i was little. You should read my story. THe link is below. I don't ever remember going to a dr but they said they brought me once. I think they said the drs. didn't know what it was. I don't ask them about it now. I'm 26 now. I don't ask because i don't want to look back. I know if my daughter had pain on urinating I'd keep at the drs. until things were done other than just a uti test. You are your child's biggest advocate. I wish my parents were more of one. I suffered in silence for years. I stopped complaining and just dealt with it. It wasn't right. Read my story for more info. Thanks and good luck. I just want to help your daughter.

Melis