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AHH!!!
I am so mentally and physically drained. My body hurts so much and my spirit hurts just as much. I only have five days to go but I still have so much to do. In the last week alone I have written five major papers, and I still have two more and three exams and no time left. I have lost my will to learn. I am so tired and stressed and burned out. I just want to crawl up into a ball and cry. I found out today that I have to come up with $800.00 in addition to my regular tution. I cannot ask my parents for that when they already have so much to worry about, and I cannot get the money without taking out a loan which i don't want to do unless absolutely neccessary. The opportunity to attend Spelman College was a dream come true and now I don't if it is even going to happen now. I am tired of everything. I am so stressed and depressed and I just want to give it all up. <img src="graemlins/banghead.gif" border="0" alt="[banghead]" /> [img]mad.gif[/img] [img]frown.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> <img src="graemlins/cussing.gif" border="0" alt="[cussing]" />
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IC-diagnosed August 1998 with cystoscopy and hydro
IBS-diagnosed in 1998 probably had for majority of my life
Fibro-Diagnosed in 2010
Other conditions: Depression, High Cholesterol (irony)
Primary symptoms: PAIN, bloating, frequency, urgency, fatigue
Current Meds: Elavil 10mg at bedtime, Toviaz 4mg at bedtime, Lyrica 3x a day
Failed meds: Vesicare, Detrol LA, Celexa, Vioxx, Celebrex, Ditropan XL, Elmiron
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -
I am 33 and not in college anymore, but, boy, do I remember those days. Every finals week I was a giant ball of stress. Headaches bigtime and emotionally on the edge. And I didn't have IC then so I can only imagine what my bladder would be like these days under that kind of pressure. Things may look real different in a couple of weeks, OK? Hold out for that. <img src="graemlins/kissing.gif" border="0" alt="[kissing]" />Kim
Diagnosed August 2001
Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)
Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)
I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.
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“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian Tracy -
Hey, and I LOVE your signature line. Someone I loved very much in AA used to say that a lot. I certainly believe it, also.Kim
Diagnosed August 2001
Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)
Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)
I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.
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“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl
“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian TracyComment
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GRINCH!!!
I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!
Emotionally, PHYSICALLY, and spitually....and abdominally!!!! <img src="graemlins/scream.gif" border="0" alt="[scream]" /> [img]mad.gif[/img]
Im in finals as well. I have three more days and I feel as they are going to be the hardest days of my life. Im burnt, Im EXHAUSTED, and I got nothing left. I stare at my books and my eyes go right through. I see nothing, I learn nothing, I cant stay awake so I drink low acid coffee and then Im in the bathroom... <img src="graemlins/toilet.gif" border="0" alt="[toilet]" />
Its this time of year. I have my hardest final EVER left and then a paper as well ALL BY WEDNESDAY!! I also have PT during this time AND I have to fill out my loan applications for next semester too....Its really tough, I totally understand how you are feeling. My parents try to be supportive but I just cant ask for money and they dont understand how I feel. I dont have any close friends here in this new city and havent had a romantic relationship in years. Stress makes my hair fall out, (I SWEAR!!) my bladder want to pee, and me to feel sad and alone. I cant believe its like I brought this upon myself...this too was a dream. <img src="graemlins/baby.gif" border="0" alt="[baby]" />
I just wait out the time and even if I dont do FANTASTIC on my tests my priority right now is NOT to be perfect....its to learn what i need to learn, pass, and get done. And thats ok.
This will pass, and Kim is right, in a few weeks with this behind us it might even feel good to have accomplished what looked impossible first.
Take time to study...and do all that is required of you. BUT, even in the last moment of cramming, take time for YOU..because thats the most important thing you can do. I just shut off my lights, lie on my bed, light a candle, and let my thoughts go....(as I try to steer them AWAY from my bladder...I imagine some tropical place.... [img]cool.gif[/img] <img src="graemlins/lmao.gif" border="0" alt="[lmao]" /> )
GOOD LUCK. We are all here cheering for you!!!
Rachel@[email protected]
"Well the Secret O'Life is enjoying the passage of time." ~James TaylorComment
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You're going to make it! I feel the exhaustion as you speek, college is hard enough without having health problems. I am unable to attend school right now, but I know what you mean. Just remember if you can't do school, work, go out with your friends or graduate when you want, you will. I don't know how long I am going to have to wait to go back to school or even begin to live life, but it is never! too late. You're a trooper.This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed. Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" Lamentations 3:21-24Comment
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