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Didn't get to go on a trip w/my bf due to a flare up

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  • Didn't get to go on a trip w/my bf due to a flare up

    I'm crying as I type this. I am 24 ad just graduated from college actually in June. But anyway. I was looking forward the past two weeks to going on a short trip with my boyfriend and his family about an hour away to a state park. Unfortunately I am having a flare up and I don't want to go because I will not last a hour in the car and I don't want to be an inconvenience for him or his family with the frequent bathroom breaks so i bowed out. Its upsetting because i feel like i can't do anything like that where we could go away on trips.

    He has been incredibly supportive and understanding about my condition and I'm so lucky and grateful. He keeps saying "it's not a big deal,don't worry about it" but I just feel like he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand the frustration or the fear of not being able to get to a bathroom on time or being judged by his family or causing others inconvenience, ya know? I want to be the awesome girlfriend who can go on trips spontaneously or who doesn't need to worry about peeing all the time!!! I HATE IT! I HATE IC!!


    24 years old
    Diagnosed when 16
    Not good with the IC diet
    Open to any and all suggestions for treatment

  • #2
    Brittany, I can completely relate! I've had to bow out on several trips over my years of bladder and pelvic issues. I remember the first time I experienced a flare in front on my now husband right before a trip to the beach...I was so embarrassed! And I know the feeling of not wanting to inconvenience anyone well. It sounds like your boyfriend is being supportive, which is great. You don't need any more stress in your life. I always try to comfort myself with the fact that I (and possibly others) would be miserable if I had gone to do something with them during a flare. We all hate IC, but try not to feel guilty about having to miss the occasional trip because of it.
    34 years old, bladder symptoms all my life
    diagnosed with PFD and VV October 2009; IC May 2010

    Current meds:
    Cystoprotek 2 pills twice a day, Hydroxyzine 10 mg, Gabapentin 600 mg, Myrbetriq 25mg, Zoloft 25 mg, Mircrogestin, capsaicin cream (for vulva)
    Other past treatments:
    IC diet, physical therapy, Traumeel injections as needed, TENS unit, heating pad, instills with sodium bicarb, lidocaine, and mucosa compositum
    Tried and didn't work:
    Pyridium, Singlair, Nortriptyline, Elmiron, lidocaine and heparin instills (worked at first, then didn't anymore), various creams, acupuncture


    • #3

      It must be very frustrating and upsetting. It's okay to break down and cry.

      I'm also in college and have IC along with a plethora of other conditions, so I can relate. Unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do to control when you're having a flare and when you aren't. It sucks.

      I've tried to just stay as positive as possible but I know that sometimes it's super hard to do that. I've had to let down my family, my friends and my boyfriend so many times over the last few years, it really has cut down my self esteem and self confidence. And sex is such a big issue for me, I don't know if it is for you - but that's the most frustrating part for me.

      Sorry about the trip and hopefully next time will be a success

      Diagnosed with IC in 2005, since then have been diagnosed with an unspecified autoimmune disease, with inflammation in my bladder, colon, left knee, left ear, left eye, lungs and pericardium. Argh!

      Medical research addict.

      Likes: hot baths and naps with cats


      • #4
        I hope your tomorrow is better.

        Stay safe

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        • #5
          Thank you all for your support.I just needed to vent that out to people who would understand my exact situation. Today is a slightly better day.

          24 years old
          Diagnosed when 16
          Not good with the IC diet
          Open to any and all suggestions for treatment


          • #6
            Sorry you're going through this. I was in a similar place, where I was afraid to go on a trip because I didn't want us to have to pull over a bunch of times for me. But it was okay, because they're the people I trust the most, and they're willing to do anything for me. It might be a matter of realizing that you're very important to them, and stopping so you can be is something they're more than willing to accomodate.