me, the potty, and I

[ICKIRSTI]

I don't mean to complain, but I wanted to apologize for my temporary absence from this site. I did in fact loose someone very special to me, with mostly thanks to my I.C. My boyfriend was so patient and understanding. I made it a point to thank him often for his patience and understanding with me. But his patience wore so thin that after a year and a half that he dumped me in a note he wrote before he went to work. He wrote that there was always something wrong with me, and that my negativity was bringing him down. The worst part is, all my life I really have been considered an optimist. Apparently, if I was an optimist before, I have not remained one anymore. My heart is so terribly broken, I feel so hurt, lost, hopeless, and helpless. I feel no one will ever be able to love and understand me as much as I would love and understand them. I am so angry and resentful of many things right now and could never feel more betrayed. So who knows when I will be able to offer the support I would like to give to others. Right now, I can’t stop crying long enough to care about anything other than this dark, dark frustrating and lonely world where the closest relationship I will ever have for life, is a man named toilet, who can always be found within the nearest bathroom stall.

[leelee88]

Aww Hun I am so sorry...((((((((((hugs))))))))))
You know it just makes me so mad that so many people do not understand this disease.. But honestly you dont need him, if he can not support you now when you needed him the most you are better off without him.. I know that dont make you feel any better only time will do that..I wish I could say something to take the hurt away..If you need someone to talk to PM me anytime

Ronda

[GriffsMommy]

I'm so sorry Kristi. I know how hard it can be on our partners that we are sick all of the time but to write you a note? How horrible. Ronda of course is right, if he can't support you then he's not worth it. I know that you don't feel this way now but obviously he isn't worthy of you. There is someone out there who will love you just the way you are.

[sbaker]

Im very sorry this happened to you. Its not fair that he should just give up.

[mary124]

I'm so sorry that this has happen to you, and in a note! Just remember, as the others have said, you have us to support you. That is what we are here for.

[jen74]

Honey, I know this is not what you want to hear, but you are better off without him!!! If he could not stick by your side now, then Could you imagine how it would be when you got older?

Just ask yourself, if it were the other way around, and he was the one who was sick, would you have walked out on him? No, you would not have and that is because you love him. Obviously he did not love you enough to stick by your side through tha bad times, and like I said, you are too good for him, and you will find someone who is worthy of you and who will love you for all of you and even in the bad times. That is what love is all about. It is about being there through the bad times, not just the good. I am sorry you are going through this. Sending you big hugs.
Jen

[petrie86]

Sweetheart, I am so sorry. I wish you had let me know earlier. I would have done anything to cheer you up. Honestly he doesnt deserve you... you are such a beautiful women and you have a beautiful soul. Your post put me litterally in tears b/c it hurts that this boy was such a coward. He couldnt end it in person, but a letter?? It just shows how immature he really is. That is pathetic and dispicable to me. I really feel for you and I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you but i'm not good at that.
I also fear of my bf leaving me b/c of IC. I wish I could beat him up for treating you the way you did. He doesnt deserve you. What goes around comes around... he will get his some day I assure you. But I do believ in soul mates and I'm sure there is a man waiting for you. Dont worry you will find him and he will treat you like the princess you really are. If you need to talk please call me. I'm going to pm you with my number.

Hugs
Rachel

[verdicries]

oh kristi...my eyes are welling up b/c i ache for you. everyone is right, you are better off w/o him...but it is hard.

i don't have any words of wisdom, just wanted to offer comfort and .

please email me or msg me if you just need to vent (see sig for email).

big hugs,
tracy

[SharonA]

I am so sorry. Rachel used the word "boy" in describing him. That is what he is...a boy runs away when the going gets tough. A man sticks with you through thick and thin. (((hugs)))

[ICKIRSTI]

Thank You All....

Thank You From The Bottom Of My Heart. You Are All The Best.
You Are All So Sweeet, And Empathetic And Caring, I Would Not Know What To Do Without You. I Have Faith In Tomorrow Now, Thanks To Your Loving And Caring Sweet Minded Hearts. All My Love And Warmest Of Regards.

[Berkshire Road]

I'm so sorry, Kristi, I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. It was not your fault. As everyone pointed out, writing a letter is a cowardly way to end a relationship. But a boy who runs out when things get a little rough, is not a man who will stand by you in the long run. I guess we all sometimes feel like our most meaningful relationship is with the potty (or, my heating pad and I have become very attached ), but a lot of us have found love with men who will stick around and find ways to make it work. And you will, too. I'm sorry this guy wasn't who you thought he was. Just, please don't blame yourself! You are still a lovable person. Maybe you need this time on your own to learn to adjust to IC and figure out how to make a life within its constraints. Maybe this relationship just wasn't meant to be at this time. It doesn't mean you won't find love again, honey.

Be good to yourself.

[ICKIRSTI]

Thank You all once again

Thank you soo much too Ronda, Christine, sbaker, Mary, Jen, Rachel, Tracy, Sharon and Carolyn. I am already feeling much better. IT has been a couple weeks since this actually happened, I just didn't really talk about it until the other day. So, hopefully things will keep getting better each day. I think I am past the worst. I mean, him and I quit cigarettes together on the first day of January. The moment he dumped me, the first thing I thought was to go and get a pack of cigarettes to pacify the self pity. (Turns out he sure did) However, I resisted and dealt with the overwhelming emotions triple time and so now..Let's just hope I got most of it out of my system. haha. Warmest regards to you all!!

[petrie86]

I'm so glad you resisted the temptation to go back to smoking. I did the same thing, a different situation however. Plus smoking hurts ic more. So it's a good thing that you stoped yourself. I'm glad your doing much better. Somedays are better than others and it's okay to be sad and cry if you need to. We are all here for you. We are your family and dont you ever doubt that. I'm hear to listen and give you the best advice I can offer. You need to do what makes you happy and remember your better than him... you need a man not a boy!!! there is a sexy man waiting out there for you!!! haha Go get him hunnie! hahaha Sorry I had to lighten it up here.
pm me if ya need to talk.

Hugs
Rach

[GriffsMommy]

Woohoo Kirsti! I just quit smoking last August so I know how hard it is to quit. I am so proud of you that you didn't go back! When I was going through the whole do I have IC or don't I with the dr's I wanted a cig soooo bad because I was so stressed but I got through it, and I'm so glad you did too! If you ever get the urge PM me, I'll give you my # if you'd like, sometimes I just think you need to say, I really really want one and then get past it.

[L. Thomas]

sbz]]\

What a cop out. That just goes to show he was only surface deep. I have real problems with someone that seems to be there but when you get down to the nitty gritty they really aren't. It is such a betrayal. But to then write a “Dear John” letter…what was he thinking?

I married my best friend. I just didn’t realize it until after we were married for a few years. I have always said I married for love the first time. But it wasn’t, it was companionship that developed into love and appreciation. Next time around it will be for money…not …there won’t be a next time.