when is it really ready to become parents???

[stacey79]

I don't work with kids, except for college students when I teach once a year, but I'm guessing that's not what you had in mind.

As far what to say when people ask about having kids, my response used to be that I was in school then it was that I'd let my brother go first since he's four years older. Now that won't work. I'm still trying to think of a good answer. My hubby and I were talking about that the other night. If I come up with something good, I'll certainly share. Sometimes it just drives me nuts that people ask stuff like that. I'd really like to say, "When are you going to learn to mind your own business?" but I'm too nice for that. I've certainly thought it before, though!

[Sunflower2]

Stacey, I am with you when people start asking this " when you have your kids? " question. I wish they could just leave us alone and mind thier own business. I wish you have a good birthday It seems as if everybody were born in May. I have three birthdays to celebrate this week. Three days in a row... of course, I have to get 3 birthday presents. Not to mentioned that mother's day is coming up soon. So another present that I have to buy....I hate another expenses that I hadn't planned. I was working on my budget for this month. Then... my hubby told me " honey, we have birthdays to go to." Well.... I just have to deal with whatever life brings to our lives.

[melanie626]

I dont' know if I am ready, I actually think we aren't or wish we had waited, but at 35 and my hubby with diabetes I so though I would have problems, well, 3 mo and one pregnancy later, I guess not. We are happy but I am still in shock.

I think you guys will know when you are ready to handle it, but I hear from all friends, you will never be ready 100%. Unless you are some odd TV Movie of the week, no ones life has all portions neat and tidy, there is always something. I think people make it work, regardless of goals- you just have to prioritze what is important at the time.

Ask people when they ask if your having kids "why do you want to know" that always puts people in their place when asking borderline questions.

Good luck-
Melanie

[stacey79]

Good comeback suggestion with "Why do you want to know?" That's such a tricky question and just so darn rude.

Because I married my high school sweetheart, it has amused me that for so long my family wanted to make sure we weren't being intimate (we waited until we married). And now they want us to have kids. Just seems a little ironic.

Just wondering if you guys flip flop back and forth with this decision. One day, I think it sounds like a great idea to start trying. We're older, my bladder is behaving, whatever. Then the next day, I think, "No way we're ready." Anyone else do that? I'm wondering if you're ready when you no longer have times of doubting. Or does everyone doubt to a certain extent? When I got engaged and married, I never had a doubt that I was making the wrong decision. I guess I expect deciding to have children be the same way, but I'm not sure that's realistic.

[Sunflower2]

Stacey. I think we all had to go through "are we really ready for this? " stage at some point. I just remember one day, my IC/PFD was acting so badly..thinking myself " there is NO WAY that I am going to have a baby with this awful disease!!! if we have to have a baby, I'll go for an adaption " ...then now I'm in totally different place. I do believe everything happens for a reason. I'm not happy to say that I have this awful IC/PFD thing in my life. I played a victim of this disease for a quiet sometime in the past, and still struggling with it. I was even angry at God for giving me this. I cried and cried until no more tears came out of my eyes. It was such a long journey to get to where I am now. Whenever I see my hubby with neighbor's kids, I cannot wait to see when we'll get one for ourselves. I remember my mom said to me one day.." you'll understand why we do the way we are when you become a parent " they are my inspiration

[stacey79]

Thanks for sharing, Aya. I know it's not something you can ever be completely ready for. I do figure I ought to get to a point where I feel ready more often than I don't feel ready. Sometimes I think with big life decisions that it would be nice to get a note from God saying, "I want you to do this, this and this." BUt, I guess that would take faith out of it!