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Anybody out there married/can't work/no kids yet

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  • Anybody out there married/can't work/no kids yet

    I would love to find some people in my situation. I am 30, married for 4 years, am on disability now, and I have not had kids yet. I have a pretty bad case of IC/Fibro and a terrible problem with my back and legs because of a screwed up stim surgery.
    I want to be a mom, but I don't know how capable I will be. The months keep going by and I am so saddened that things may never change. I don't know how I could go without my meds, my ob said I only had to stay off meds during my first trimester. My main concern is whether or not I could take care of my baby. There are lots of nights I don't sleep and instead of sleeping whenever I get the opportunity, I will only be sleeping when the baby says I can. You all know the tired you feel after a long flare--knocks you on your butt for awhile. (I am getting depressed thinking about this)
    I would really like to have someone to talk to about this.

  • #2
    Please don't get discouraged. I am 25. I've been married for 7 months. I found out I'm pregnant. It was really scary worrying about going off meds. But I have a great uro and ob who are just wonderful. I'm 11 weeks now and I've only had one flare that last about 2 days. It's scary but I know it will be worth it. By the way this wasn't planned. I hope everything works out for you. I've been at home for over a month now. I've learned after years of working, I get bored fast!
    Tons of support,
    Tons of support,

    IC angel helping families in need for the holidays. [email protected]


    • #3
      I am sorry to hear about your situation.I do work only part time, I am 37 and I have no kids, I would like one myself. But I am scared. Pleas dont give up hope, I know things right now seem gloomy, but things will turn around. You will be in my prayers,
      Sending you a bunch of
      Healing Hugs JOJO


      • #4
        I am so scared too. I am 31 recently diagnosed. Forget about stop taking meds for me, I am scared to START taking meds and then knowing I have to stop them before I conceive. I should have started on elmiron a week ago. I wish it were easy...

        I know that when you have a baby your main focus is on them and not yourself-so maybe that will help you forget about your pain. Fortunately you are used to staying up at night so you are already trained for a baby! Also your body might change when you become pregnant. Some go into remission. It might be the right thing for you to get you out of your depression. You might always regret not having a baby.
        I wish you all the best. We don't have it easy, and making a decesion like this is really hard because you want to be the best for your baby. Maybe you should call a support group and speak in person to people about your hopes and fears. Try to find one in your area or ask your doctors if they know of any.
        Lots of support..


        • #5
          When I had my children IC didn't have a name. But starting with my second child, I had what I know now were major IC flares.

          No urologist would touch me during the 2nd pregnancy, so I developed many more problems, including toxemia. One stood by me the entire 3rd pregnancy and I stayed with a strict diet. Even then I could tell that acid foods caused pain and fluid retention. On top of everything else, I am a diabetic. With careful monitering, that 3rd pregnancy went smoothly compared with the second. Also I spent 2 months in bed on the 3rd pregnancy. That kept pressure off my bladder and entire pelvic area.

          After the 3rd child we said enough. Having the children stretched my health to the limits, but I would still say it was worth the price. Today there are more knowledgeable doctors that can see an ICer through a pregnancy. Also you might consider having a family member come and help you through the first 6 weeks. Will your husband also help? Mine did; he would get up with the baby when I was too drained.

          The entire idea is scary but I would do it all over again. Ironically, the 2nd child, where I had so many problems, was killed in a wreck at age 18. But I had those precious 18 years.

          I know this is not an easy decision to make; but as my husband said, only I could make the decision. I wish every man felt this way; I am blessed. If you decide to go through with a pregnancy, you are going to need some very supportative people around you. It is not "a piece of cake" with IC, but at least you know more about the disease than we did, and now it has a name.


          • #6
            well here are my thoughts on this. i had ic with my last two pregnancys and this was before i was diagnosed. so i had no meds and was treated with antibiotics that were safe for the baby. i can understand your being scared. but, some how and i don't know how god gives us moms the little extra umph we need to go. i had two babies 11 months apart. people who know how sick i am ask me all the time how i did and do it. my husband was always gone in the field. he was in the army at the time. so i had to do it. you learn to sleep when baby sleeps. its hard but i know you can do it. my babies are now 14, 7 & 8. and i would do it all over again. my thoughts and prayers are with you!!

            sending healing thoughts and prayers!!


            • #7
              Hello ICSF
              I am sorry to hear about your situation I am only 22 and have been married 11mns. It'll be a year in October (yay).
              We were planning on having children around Christmas or New Year's this year. But being diagnosed with IC I'm not sure how it's going to work out either.
              He has mentioned something about moving our plans forward a little bit instead of waiting to Christmas. We were going to wait since we'll have been married a year.
              We both want children pretty bad. And it's not fair that I just got diagnosed especially sine we have the rest of our lives together.
              He's really understanding and supporitive. I think the reason he wants to move up the date is in case I start feeling any worse. I have heard that it kind of goes away in pregnancy.
              I might have to go for a Cystoscopy Tuesday. Like yourself I'm beginning to get scared to death of all of this.
              Sending you best wishes and healing prayers.