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When one door closes...

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  • When one door closes...

    ...another one opens. I should have written this a while ago, but I've needed time to digest the things that have been happening. Our fertility treatments didn't work. They ended a month ago w/o success. I felt very sad for a while, and needed some time to mourn. I really thought that I would be pregnant by now.

    I decided that I would take a year to treat my bladder, even though that felt terrifying because what little fertility I have is sifting through the hourglass of my biological clock!

    Then, I had a thought that I had considered several years ago - foster parenting. Back then, my husband wasn't interested. I think that he thought we could conceive a baby ourselves, once we started seriously trying.

    The past year has been very convincing for us both - infertility is tough, but add IC to the mix and it is overwhelming!!! So we are talking about fostering to adopt. I have always felt so burdened that there were children already in the world who are unloved and hurting, while we long to love and raise a child. Our Gracie has been such a treasure to us, and I know that she would be a loving, compassionate big sister to a child who needs love and care.

    We would chose to have a child younger than Grace, for safety reasons and so that she could be a positive influence on a younger child rather than being possibly negatively influenced by an older child. I also think it's important that she doesn't lose her "place" in the family as the first and oldest child. When a new baby is brought into a home, there is some comfort for the older child in knowing that although they have to share mom and dad, they hold a place in the family that is special and different than the baby's place as youngest. It's a huge shift to go from being an only child to being a sibling, let alone a younger one. I think that Gracie needs that security in order to be able to adapt to the changes that will take place. Everyone, equal in love and unique in person, heart and position in the family. Does that make sense?

    Anyway, I am feeling hopeful once again. This is some wild and crazy journey! I wonder if I needed to go through the past year of IF and IC to set the stage for fostering in my husband's heart as well as my own. We may still conceive - no one knows more than I do that miracles happen. I kiss one good morning every day! But we're heading in a different direction now. Please keep us in your prayers, okay? I'll post more later.

    Oh, and by the way, if I ever just kind of...POOF!!!...disappear off the face of the cyber-earth, please be patient. My computer is acting up and needs some maintenance work done. You guys are always in my thoughts, even if my computer is denying me access!!!!

    Love and blessings,
    "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; He enables me to stand on the heights."
    Psalm 18:32 - 33

  • #2
    Kelly, More years ago than I like to think about I spent some time working as secretary at an agency who supervised the foster care of something like 30 children. I have to say that foster parents are the true angels on earth.

    May you be blessed on this journey.

    Sending an encouraging hug,
    Stay safe

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    • #3
      Keeping you in my prayers, always!
      Tons of support,
      Tons of support,

      IC angel helping families in need for the holidays. [email protected]


      • #4
        Kelly don't give up. I just found out my good friend that is 40 is pregnant and her husband is 48. They have no other children. So see it is always possible for a miracle. Take care and hugs



        • #5
          Hi Kelly - I'm glad I logged on today, and when I started reading your message, I can totally relate. My son just turned 5 a couple of weeks ago. We've been trying to have another baby for almost 3 yrs. We've been through the infertility maze too and we've just come out of it. We tried 4 rounds of IUI and IVF 2x. Both times with the IVF, I wasn't responding to the meds, so we had to cancel it. After the 1st one was cancelled, I was so depressed and sad. After the 2nd time, I was almost grateful, the shots were the worst thing I've been through and it made the decision easier to stop treatment. I thought I was ok with having one child, I love our lil guy more than anything in the world, but we want another baby so badly. The emotions you go through are so difficult and when you add IC to the mix it only gets more complicated. I'm happy when I hear others are having babies (2 of my sisters have had children during our bout w/ infertility), but I can't help but be sad for us because we want another child soo much. And our son wants to be a big brother in the worst way; he asks us all the time why I can't havea baby. It took us almost a yr to conceive our son, but for some reason, I didn't think we'd have trouble the 2nd time around. When things didn't happen for us right away, I started thinking about adoption. My husband was about 98% against it and still was up until about a week ago. But I felt like I had to talk to him and tell him how I feel because I really want more children, I look at every family I see to see if they have an only child too. We've never really disagreed on anything and this is 'big.' I'd love to give birth to another, but I don't know if it's in the cards, and I don't care if the child is biologically mine or not. We had a great talk and we're looking into adoption. It's scary when things don't go the way you think they will, but I firmly believe things happen to us for a reason, and it's up to us to make things happen. I wish you the best of luck, foster parenting is something I considered, but I just don't think we could handle it. Best of luck to you - Kris