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Anyone else consider or go through with adoption instead?

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  • Anyone else consider or go through with adoption instead?

    I have had a rough time of it thinking about having kids wth IC, and with ADHD, and with fibromyalgia and probably Sjorgren's. THe thing is, my body doesn't work right, hormones make it much much worse (the pill was my worst experience physically actually and it was supposed to help my cramps) and I just don't want my body to have to go through more stress. I want to adopt, my boyfriend who I am going to marry is ok with that. But I never run into anyone who makes that choice> I know people say having a baby is worth it, but I really really don't want to do it and that only makes me feel like my choice isn't repected. Any thoughts?

  • #2

    I think adoption is a wonderful idea! There are many children who are in need of loving homes. I think adopting is a perfectly respectable choice. As long as your boyfriend feels the same way as you, who cares what anyone else thinks!

    Jill hi


    • #3
      I think it is a great decision. There are certainly enough children in this world who need a loving home. My husband and I have two children already, and might have a third biological child, but we have always wanted to adopt a baby as well. I am new to IC, so if I think it might be too hard to be pregnant again then we might just go ahead and adopt our third. We really want to do an international adoption. I have already been to some informational meetings and have started researching it.
      Send me a PM if you want to talk about adoption more!


      • #4
        I have a good friend who is adopted--- she is truly an excellent person and any parent would be blessed to have her as their child. She has a brother, who is also adopted. They are a great family.

        She is now 30 and has severe fibromyalgia (we met three years ago at a support group) and she has talked to me about the possibility of her and her husband adopting.



        • #5
          cherislp, I think its a wonderful choice if you decide to make it. of course im partial cuz i am an adoptee. what ever you decide im sure it will be right. good luck and god bless you! kissing

          Newbie Angel- Giving support to those new to the boards with IC

          Angel over the airways- Lets get the word out on IC!


          • #6
            Cherislp, My hubbie and I decided to pursue adoption after several failed fertility treatments, and an IC diagnosis. I'm not sure if my mind or body could have handled carrying the fertility issue any further. We had already had 9 failed IUI's and 2 failed IVF's. During the IVF treatments were when my IC symptoms began...and at that point, I sort of took it as God's way of telling me, back off of this fertility issue obsessiveness...I may have other plans for you and in fact he did. To make a long story short, my hubbie and I went thru foster classes and took two girls into our home last March in which, now, in a couple of weeks our adoption of these two little girls will be finalized. My view point, I think adoption is wonderful. I honestly, could not love my girls any more than if I would have given birth to them, myself. They are the absolute apples of my eye and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to parent them.

            You know, I feel some people are meant to have their own children but, I also feel, that there are others who are meant specifically to adopt and I think that's where my calling was (is). Adopting is a're giving a child a chance, who might not have had it otherwise, and if this is the avenue in which you want or feel like you should pursue...I say go for it and don't even feel bad about it. You'd be doing a wonderful thing. I do wish you well on whatever you decide and if you ever have any questions on state adoptions, I'd do what I can to feel free to PM me. Take care and Good luck!!! hi



            • #7
              If I have learned one thing since being diagnosed with IC is listen to your body. I can tell there is a flare coming on sometimes a few days in advance, so then I start taking pain meds to stop it before it starts. If your body and heart is telling you that adoption is the way to go, then I say GO FOR IT!! You seem like you would be a good mother, and by not wanting to put yourself through that physical hell isn't being selfish. At this point I wouldn't do it either. Now I have heard some women say you go into remission during pregnancy, while some don't. But this is your choice and if people look down upon you for making the decision to adopt instead of having your own biological child, tell them to walk a day in your shoes, and try to be pregnant as well. I think you're making a wonderful choice. There are too many children who need homes, not only in our country but other countries as well. I wish you the best of luck. You'll have to keep us posted as to what is going on. Adoption is a very difficult procedure, very stressful. I wish you the best grouphug

              IC Angel: Proudly supporting the Children and the Elderly with IC.

              E-Mail: [email protected]


              Revelation 21:4
              "And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away."


              • #8
                I've adopted two beautiful children through the
                foster system. Like you, I have Fibromyalagia
                as well as IC. Adoption was my first choice.


                • #9
                  I wasn't diagnosed yet with ic, but my pcp (and now me) thinks I have it. I have some pain and frequency. I have one daughter who will be 3 in May. I was pregnant again in November when this all started for me. Unfortunately a couple weeks later I had a miscarriage. I don't think it's related, but who knows! My husband wants to start trying to have another baby (which I want another one too!), but I'm afraid also. I keep telling him lets wait another month, and then another month, but pretty soon he's gonna really put the pressure on me. I am 34. He is 38. We are getting older and I know I don't have much time (that is also another worry for me). I really don't know what to do either. Right now my symptoms have gotten a little better. I haven't been drinking pop or caffeine. Adoption is a great thing. I know there are so many kids that need loving families. But, I'm not sure what I'm gonna do yet. bunny