Dealing with infertility

[klarson]

Hi - I was just wondering if anyone else has gone through infertility? I have a 4 yr old son, it took my husband and I almost a year to get pregnant with him, but we did it on our own. Now we've been trying for almost 2 yrs to have another baby. We've had 4 rounds of artificial insemination and are going to start IVF in June. Fortunately my insurance will cover 4 rounds of IVF, but it has been so tough to deal with. I've had some painful procedures and they can't really find much wrong with us. I guess it's frustrating because it's such a natural thing and we can't seem to do it on our own. One of my sisters just had a baby yesterday. I'm sooo happy for her, but at the same time, it makes our situation seem so dismal. Holding that baby just made me want to have another one so badly. I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced infertility and how they surived it? Thanks - Kris

[AmyM]

Hi Kris,

I am so sorry you and your husband are going through such a rough time. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for about 8 months now. Although my OB assures me that is not long enough to be considered infertility I definitely feel scared and frustrated. It seems like when you want a baby so badly evryone around you seems to be having them. Both my sisters-in-laws just had precious baby boys. I know what you mean about juggling happiness for them with longings of your own. I hope that you and your husband have great success with your treatments. Hang in there. I will be praying for you. Love, Amy

[klarson]

Hi Amy - Thanks, and good luck to you too. Eight months may not be considered time to start thinking about infertility, but when you're the one going through it, it can seem endless. I hope all goes well for you and thanks for the well wishes! I just needed to vent a bit. Like I said, I'm thrilled for my sister, it's just hard. And one of my other sisters just had a baby a few months ago. They both conceived and had babies during the 2 yr span that we've been trying. I guess whatever happens, happens, it's just hard to be patient and I'm a little nervous about how IVF may interact with the IC. We'll see, but thanks again. Kris

[sharon429]

I have been trying for over a year to get pregnant with no success. I wanted to post a new topic on this site because I have so many questions on this matter. I have three children that this summer will be 4, 5 and 6. I had no problem conceiving them but I have to say they were a surprise. Now when I want to have one more baby I can't get pregnant!!! It's so weird. It took me a long time to convice my husband to have another child and when I did I thought there would be no problems but every month its the same thing. I've really become obsessed with it and like yourself I have to watch everyone else having babies. I really think it has something to do with my IC. I read another post on here where someone wrote that having IC its harder to have more sex but since I've have my diet under control we have no problem in that area. I know I should be happy with my three children but I just can't understand why I can't get pregnant. I have a doctors appointment this Friday which I'm really dreading because about 7 months ago he put me on progestorone which was terrible then told me to go on the pill for 3 months which he thought would regulate my cycle. I've been off the pill now for months and nothing. My insurance does not cover a infertility specialist. My birthday is tommorrow and I'm going to turn 39 - I really wanted to get pregnant before I turned 40. If it doesn't happen before that I'm going to stop trying.

[kels34]

I also am struggling with infertility. We had this problem before IC hit this past fall - as a matter of fact, I had just gone to a gyno to begin the process of infertility treatments when I got sick w/IC. I will be starting meds to encourage ovulation this month. I have a duaghter who is 6 yrs old. She was our miracle child after 6 yrs of infertility! I am still in awe, and I feel grateful to have had the experience of motherhood. If we are not able to conceive again, I will be very sad, but at the same time, I feel content and fulfilled as Grace's mom. I used to long to hold a child, to be a mom...I have that now. But I am hoping and praying for the chance to do it again!

I have 2 sisters who are due any day now. I have to admit it makes me feel a bit sad, but I am really trying to rejoice with them. One of my sisters has asked me to be present at the birth, to help her and her husband in labour. What an honor! I know that I sometimes mourn the ability to get pregnant easily, and seeing my sister have a baby may hurt, but I think that the mourning is important. I learned that in the first 6 years before Grace. Instead of trying to keep a stiff upper lip at baby showers, I learned that it was ok to take a few moments for myself and to cry in sadness. It is even ok to allow myself to be comforted. It's not shameful to be infertile and mourning is valuable to protect my heart from bitterness and envy. I weep and mourn, and then am comforted (I am a Christian, and so God is a great Comforter to me, as well as my church family). Then I can rejoice as one comforted. I guess I would encourage anyone struggling with infertility to be honest with themselves about what they have lost, if even just the carefree, passionate "let's make a baby" sex that seems to fade after a few years of trying. It's ok to be sad, and the mourning process is important in getting to the place of acceptance that this is the way our journey takes us. Why can my sisters get pregnant with no problem (or even without planning it!)and when I finally go for infertiltiy treatments, I come down w/IC, which does make the whole process 100% harder(sex induces flares in me, and of course, trying to get preggers means no meds!)? One of my sisters actually felt guilty about it (the one who asked me to be at her birth) and I reminded her that this is the road that God has chosen for me. I believe that He has plans for my life, and things that He wants to do in my heart. While that doesn't neccisarily mean giving me everything I want easily, it does mean providing everything I need. And I have to admit, having Grace after 6 years of infertiltiy has made me a different mother than I would have been if I had gotten her easily. I am continually (almost daily) aware of the miracle of her. I have never gotten tired of diapers, bottles, potty training, disciplining, messy faces and toys in the living room because I remember a time when I didn't think they would ever be in my life. She loves to hear the story of how I prayed for so long for a child, and then found out I was pregnant with her, 'cause as you can imagine, we went nuts!!! There was serious dancing and celebrating going on that day! How it was just after Christmas, and we called friends and family in Florida, Toronto, British Columbia...how many of my friends screamed into the phone and burst into tears when I told them...how one dear friend's husband, Mike, had had a special word from God that I was pregnant at least a month before I knew...how I threw up for 5 months and got dehydrated over and over again and had to be sedated and still couldn't get that silly grin off of my face...how daddy just smiled and smiled and made me breakfast every day in the hopes that I could eat it without rolfing...ah...memories! Every memory is seared into my brain with sheer joy, and I wouldn't give up the 6 years of infertility to have it any other way.

So...I understand. I am sending hopeful prayers and thoughts to everyone who is struggling with this issue. I am grateful for this board and the opportunity to connect with others who understand, as well. So cool.
Blessings,
Kelly

[klarson]

Hi Sharon - I can relate to what your going through. We have one child and although it took us almost a year to get pregnant with him, we thought the 2nd time would be a snap. And here we are 2 yrs later about to start IVF. I read a book called 'Wanting Another Child - Coping with Secondary Infertility.' It might be worth reading, it validated a lot of my feelings and made me feel a lot better. It's been hard because a lot of people say 'can't you just be happy, you have one child?' or things like that. But that's easy to say when you're not in this position. Good luck and I hope you have a great b-day!!

[klarson]

Hi Kelly - I'm with you on this one. Dealing with infertility and IC is a lot to handle at the same time. And it is hard when it seems like everyone around you is having babies. My sister just had a baby last week and one of my other sisters had a baby about 6 months ago. While I am really happy for them, I can't help but feel sorry for myself; at least a little bit. But I am soo grateful for my son and I believe that things happen for a reason. We're going to go quite a stretch with the infertility treatments, but my husband and I have talked about it and both agree on how far we want to take it. But as our son gets older, I feel a little tick-tock going on. He'll be 5 this year and I really didn't plan on having kids this far apart, if we can have another one at all. But I wish you luck and hope all goes well. Kris

[Melissa]

Hi Kris, I'm sad to hear your dealing with infertility. I know firsthand how discouraging it can be. No one can truly understand infertility unless they've experienced it, and even then every situation is different. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for about six years, five of those undergoing fertility treatments. I had been through nine artificial inseminations and two in-vitro procedures. I became sick with IC while going through in-vitro. Needless to say, my efforts ended there. I still have ten frozen embryos sitting in the clinic that haunt me often. The mystery of what-ifs. I guess since I became sick while undergoing in-vitro, I still have this mental hang-up about pursueing it again. Like you and your husband, nothing was ever really found wrong with me or my husband that would have prevented us from becoming pregnant. That's one thing that makes it so frustrating. I've actually come to accept it a little better,though. I just feel that there's a reason for everything. This is something I have no control over. I can do everything on my part to make it happen but if it's not meant to happen it won't. God has the ultimate control. But at times, I do still shed a silent tear when a close friend, co-worker or family member get to experience the blessing of bringing a new little one into the world. It's not that I'm not happy for them, it's just that little feeling of emptiness that sits inside still waiting to be filled. It's tough. Anyway, I know I've gone the long way around but I wanted you to know that your also in my prayers. Each time I pray I try to remember those dealing with the frustrations of infertility, because I've been down that road and it's not an easy one.
Wishing you lots of luck,
Melissa

[sharon429]

Hi Klarson!
Thank you for the birthday wish and understanding how I feel. A lot of people don't understand when they see you already have children. I just got back from dropping a semen anylisis off at the hospital from my husband. I decided before I request a laproscopy or any other dramitic testing I should see what's up with him. Maybe since he's gotten 4 years older the count has gone down or something. Inside I know its me. Every month my period gets worse and worse. Like clockwork 10 day before my period I start having hot flashes and BAD pms. It really stinks. I really think I might have endometrious but that's another story.

[klarson]

Hi Sharon - Yikes, that's not good, maybe the painful periods have something to do with the infertility. I hope it all works out for you. One thing I learned after reading that book I mentioned, it doesn't matter how many children you have, the wish to have another is hard to bear. Good luck to you and your hubby. Kris

[klarson]

Hi Melissa - Thanks for the good thoughts, I'm sorry you had to go through it too. You're right, it's different for everyone but it's no fun any way you look at it. I know how you feel though and this is a tough one to get through, but I really appreciate the helpful thoughts.

[blueys23]

I haven't been diagnosised with ic yet. My mom found this website and I have all the symptoms. And I was wondering about problems conceiving. I have been married and divorced and I am now in a relationship and I had been trying and now am trying to conceive. And I was just wondering if anyone else was having problems. Reading the posts helped me. Thank you.

[jaime15]

blueys23

From the date of this thread starting......it's an old one.
If memory serves me well, at least one of the ladies have conceived already.

Don't worry about the dx of IC.....with it or without it, the disease isn't going to cause you problems getting pregnant. Granted, if you are up to the whole baby making process.

I am a mother of one who conceived and had a mild pregnancy w/IC.

So it can be done! I wish you luck!

[fireflicker285]

I feel for all of you who cannot concieve easily. I know it can be frustrating. I am turning 36 and it took about 6 months to get pregnant with my third whereas the other two took only the one single month! Who knows why it can happen so fast or take so long.

Good Luck to all of you......

[anxious one]

Boy, can I relate to all this! My daughter was a "suprise conceived while on the pill!" Now we have been without contraception for almost a year... and nothing. I blame my IC. I have just had blood tests done and am waiting on the result.

This might sound really stupid and please don't laugh... after sex, like most of you probably, I run to the loo to void so I don't get a UTI. I squeeze out every last drop!! I know it is a bit of an oldwives tale that you should lay down with your feet up the wall for 5, 10 mins etc, but could there be some truth in it?? I go to the loo and it seems like "everything" falls out!! Can I get some honest feedback here?????