mixed emotions....someone help me feel better please

[Emma's Mommy]

I'm 17 weeks pregnant with my second baby. This is my first pregnancy with IC and the last 10 weeks are so have been GREAT. No IC flares, no fighting with pain clinics or Uro's to get the pain medication i need to be able to breathe without pain....dare i say i almost feel normal again.

so why i am having mixed emotions??

because i am terrified that once i have the baby the pain will all come back and i'll go back to the useless toilet sitter that i was before this pregnancy. At least after i had my daughter i had a good 10-11 months with her before i started getting symptoms and had my life taken over by this disease. I can't go back to the way things were, it will serously kill me this time. I don't want my new baby to suffer because i have a disease that no one wants to help fix.

I feel a little because i decided to have a baby that i may not even be able to take care of and it breaks my heart. What am i going to do if days after i have this baby i start having pain again?? A newborn NEEDS it's mommy and i'm afraid i'll neglect my baby because i'm stuck on the toilet all the time.

so everyone PLEASE tell me your positive post partum IC sucess stories and give me some hope.....i really need it

[tigger_gal]

you will be a great Mommy to both of your children. I don't see you negelecting either one. You may have a rough go and have pain, but you won't let it misguide you. If have to, put them in a day care a couple days a week, or have a friend or family member help you out..
you will be just fine CONGRATS

[Trishann]

Emma, yep, your emotions are probably going crazy about now. I know you will be a good mother too. I don't think you have to worry about this issue. I agree with Cindy, after the new one comes and you feel overwhelm, maybe that will be the time for you to set aside some free time for yourself.

I love your picture,
Sending hugs, Trishann

[ICNDonna]

Donna

[Bessie]

You are a good mommy and everything will be o.k. You have a beautiful little family

Sending you lots of hugs

[Moonheart]

(((((((((((it's going to be okay)))))))))))))))

You're instincts will take over and you will take care of that little one. Hormones last while you are breastfeeding and God-willing they will help your IC as well.

[jaime15]

I remember feeling good for a long while after the birth of my son. It can happen for you. Stressing out about the unknowns is natural. It's natural to stress about how you would split your time caring for two now instead of just one. You have an illness. Most mommies don't and still have the same stress! Take care of you too! I hope I made sense..........

[dg2901]

Motherly instincts will guide you, my dear.

Diana

[janelle77362]

Luckily most new mommies stay in remission for quite some time after the little one is born. I suffered with IC through my entire pregnancy but went into remission after having my son. I was in remission for the first three or four months and it was great! It really gave me the time I needed to be able to bond with my son. If you are in remission now, you will probably be in remission for some time after having the new little one.
Good Luck!

[Emma's Mommy]

thanks everyone for the kind words....i really hope you are all right and i stay painfree. I can't go back to the way i was before, i was useless for anything and all i did was take medication and sleep. I was miserable and my family was miserable because they had to sit there and watch me suffer.

I am trying to make the best of this pregnancy and spend as much time with my family as i can, but i'm worried for my new baby to be that the only mom he/she will know is the one who is miserable and depressed and in a world of hurt. No kid diserevs a mom like that.

[RAS6]

Hope I can help...

I had my onset of IC symptoms after the birth of my youngest daughter so unfortunately I have no idea personally if IC symptoms go away after pregnancy and when they return. I have heard that many women do have a nice long remission. I can really relate to you, though. I am also 25. I have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful little girls, ages 7 and 2. I have suffered almost a year now with horrible symptoms and have found little relief or Doctor's willing to help until recently. Infact we have decided not to have anymore children btween the IC and other health problems I have.
It took over 6 months and four Doctors at 3 different practices before about a month ago I found my current Doctor, an IC specialist, who would give me options besides more surgeries and the bladder installments I had tried without success. I am stilll not much better, but at least when I go back to see him in a few weeks he has new things I can try. Plus he was the first Doctor to take time to really talk to me and listen. He didn't make me feel silly or crazy. He let me know that my pain and suffering was very real and that I had options.
I completely understand the worries about your children having the "potty" mom; I have missed out on so much that was important to my 7 year old lately b/c of frequently reacurring flares and my poor 2 year old has gotten used to mommy being a permanent fixture on the couch. We barely leave the house without my husband or mother in law. Christmas was especially rough with all the driving and stress. I flared for almost a week after.
I just wanted to reassure you that you will be an excellent mother to this baby! Also, if it helps for you to think ahead, I would encourage you to look into finding a good urologist, possibly an IC specialist in your area if needed after the baby is born if the Doctor you are seeing now isn't giving you options. I had to experience first hand that many Doctors who know what IC is have very few treatments and may know very little about it. My third Doctor told me I was exaggerating my symptoms b/c my bladder looked so healthy! I was so devasted, I thought I was going to be in pain forever, but some wonderful women here encouraged me to look for another Doctor.
I am also in NY state, but in Western NY. There is a wonderful IC Doctor in Rochester, where I am going now (I found him through the Doctor list on this site). There are several knowledgable ladies on this board who live in the Syracuse area, I'm sure they would be willing to let you know about good IC docs in that area if Rochester is too far to go. Good luck with your pregnacy. I hope you will be symptom-free and able to thoroughly enjoy it!

[Berkshire Road]

My pain management doctor, who has IC herself, went into remission in her second pregnancy and is still in remission. The kid just made his bar mitzvah not too long ago, so he's thirteen or maybe even fourteen by now.

There, that's a real life, post-partum success story, just like you asked for!

My own IC was pretty mild and not even diagnosed before my pregnancy, and it did go into remission for a couple of years afterwards. Unfortunately, I managed to contract Lyme Disease and have a bout of acute pancreatitis during the remission -- looking back, I almost have to laugh. Like, how many more diseases could I have heaped on me at the same time? Then my IC waxed and waned until a couple of years ago, when it came roaring back with a vengeance, but keep in mind that my daughter is almost twelve.

And even if having a mom with health problems is not necessarily the childhood we would have picked out for her, had we been given the choice, it has undoubtedly made her a more empathetic, sympathetic, and self-reliant individual. She is the most mature 11 year old I have ever met; she does the family laundry some weekends, if she notices it's piled up and no one's been able to find time or energy to deal with it. She just does it; no one ever asked her to. And she's a happy, popular kid.

So think positive. It will work out for the best one way or another.

[mary124]

You are a good mommy to Emma and to this new baby. Do not worry. You will be ok.

My IC didn't get offically dx till after my second one was born, had symptoms before and during both pregnancies, but nothing that I couldn't handle.

Just take care and don't worry. Lots of

[KathrynPInk]

Hi Erika,
Katheryn here. I think you will be OK. I have given birth to five children, and I have been a Postpartum Counselor the last three yrs. Sometimes a pregnancy in itself can cause one to ruminate and worry over very real fears. You know; we all know that stress and worry makes our symptoms worse...and it is very difficult to control these worries when one is pregnant...Let's face it; it is a good time in many ways, but the hormones can make us feel so fearful about things.
Let me just say; Maybe you could flare, but honey, maybe you will not. I hope you have a great OB who knows a lot about IC as well as Postpartum anxiety and how to help you with that.
I am a huge worrier and am actually going to a therapist again myself, to help control my fears and worries! But, there is a good chance that you will be fine, and if you do get ill again, know that this will pass....and you will have a team of wonderful folks to help you online as well as your personal support people who love you nearby. I surprised myself and did well after the last pregnancy! (5th)
My fourth child was born by c- section and the problem was a too big cathater.....(in my humble opinion.) Anyway, I guess what I am saying is, try to live in these moments of miraculous baby growing within you, and remember you will always get better. I think you will find if you can remind yourself on a regular basis of the day you are living, at the very moment, and try not to go way ahead of yourself to after the birth, and what could happen bad, you will multiply your chances of being less stressed at the postpartum time.
I feel silly preaching to anyone, knowing my history of worry and tension...but I do believe you will be ok. Take it one day at a time when possible, and know that if you do get a bit sicker, you will find the road to feeling better again. AND please make sure you are comfortable ASKING for help! Many times in this busy world with families so far apart, we forget to really let our friends know we need help. I have found that to be true in the Postpartum group; the moms who ask for help generally get loving arms and shoulders to lean on.
Hey girl, I will be thinking of you, please let your Doc know about your worry.... She or he needs to know how concerned you are, so help can be quick in coming.
You have a lovely family. I wish none of us had IC. We all need a cure. Maybe we will get one soon...who knows? it could happen.

Good luck and blessings to you!
katheryn

[Judith56]

Emma,
I had two children with IC. I actually was better while pregnant and nursing. After my second son was weaned, that is when my IC came back with a vengence, So my advice to you is live in the present, enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry about what might be. YOu will be creative about what to do if and when the time comes that your IC is back and you are not doing well. As for being a "potty mommy" all I can say is that for me it was positive, I was a great role model when it came time to toilet train my children! By the way my sons are 24 and 26, having a mom with IC I feel actually has made them more understanding towards people with health problems. Judith