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  • #1

    mood swings with kids

    Hey,

    does anyone ever catch their self being hateful with their kids when they are in a flare. I have 2 girls. 4 and almost 2. I try so hard to be a good mom but sometimes when my IC is bothering me I catch myself being hateful or telling my oldest to take her sister to her room and play and then I notice that I've practically ran them off all day, it makes me feel so bad. But they are so aggravating together and my husband works second shift so he isn't at home of the evenings with us. Any tips on how to be a cool mom.

    LOL,
    Kenzy
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  • #2
    I've definitely been there. I tried at one point making a list of games my 5 year old could play on his own - that he thought were really fun - for the times I was flared or otherwise grouchy and needed a break. I also tried to think of activities I could do with him during those times that were easy to play and that I enjoyed, too.

    It's not wrong to want a break - I guess it's how we go about setting up the break. I also find that if I start the day off with a prayer about my parenting that it goes more smoothly.

    Oh, the other thing I did for a while was set up to call an "accountability" person. When I could feel my blood begin to boil I would call her and tell her I was irritable and near taking it out verbally on my kids. She would help me remember that they are children and that my frustration is rarely at them specifically, and even the times it is due to them, she helped me deal with the frustration more effectively.
    Kim

    Diagnosed August 2001

    Current IC meds: Elmiron (since 2001), Levaquin (one pill after intercourse to prevent UTIs), Effexor (for depression & anxiety)

    Past IC meds: Amitriptyline (Elavil), Hydroxyzine (Vistaril), Detrol LA, Lexapro (for depression & anxiety, but also helped my IC) (They all helped, but I was able to discontinue them.)

    I've been virtually symptom free and able to eat & drink whatever I'd like for about 8 years now.

    *****************************

    “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” ~ Viktor Frankl

    “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” ~ Brian Tracy

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    • #3
      I'm not an advocate of hours and hours of TV for kids, but having on hand some cartoons and children's stories for the VCR can be a life-saver when you don't feel good. The good thing is that the kids usually think it's a treat if they don't get to watch too much.

      Donna
      Stay safe


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      • #4
        That's why I am the "QUEEN OF MEAN". Seriously, I flare and I crab at them. Especially Emilee. I am more hateful with her, and my hubby, than with Justin. I am hurting and I try to apologize to them when I am not hurting. I was so bad one day my hubby took the kids and left me home for awhile. And I crabbed at him abou tit. It was actually a good thing he did that, but at the time I was on a roll, I guess. Just be extremely nice - when you can. And hopefully when they grow up they will remember the good times. Hugs, Michelle in KC

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        • #5
          yes I am so mean when i am in pain and wish i could smack the crap out of me to realize wht i am doing at he time instead of after it is done... I am so glad thet my daughter tells me that I am making her upset then i stop and we talk..
          brat
          'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

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          • #6
            Thanks guys,

            I know you all know how special our children are. I love mine and up until about 9 months ago I would read to my oldest daughter and play games and go to the park. She hardly ever watched TV, now for the last 9 months she has become hooked on spongebob and dora. I hate that she spends so much time watching tv with her little sister while i lay on the couch and feel sorry for myself. That's really all I do, I don't have pain, just frequency/urgency and some pressure or burning every now and then, so I should be grateful, and I am. It's just that all my life things have always been perfect and this little slap in the face is taking ...well a long time to get used to. I try to make up for it when i feel good. I just hope they know I love them. i think the stress of school also added to my frustration with them and my IC flares. I'll do better, starting now!! Thanks guys!!!

            LOL,
            Kenzy

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            • #7
              Every couple of months my son will do something that will cause me to lash out verbally. Usually he's been misbehaving all day and he'll get frustrated with me because all he wants is for me to focus a bit and be there with him but I'm not so he might hit or pinch me or maybe jump up on the bed and headbutt my tummy eek . I don't thraten him or insult him in any way which is what scares me the most because it's the "way" I tell him to stop it's the look on my face and the tone in my voice that scares him and he will recoil and just look scared. I've vowed to never get that look of fear from my son again and I've made good on that, the problem is now that my son is bouncing off the walls but I have no strenghth or energy to realy disipline him the way I know I should. I am no lnger the mother I startd out as and my son is going to pay for it. frown

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              • #8
                mrm,

                Your a great mommmy. we all have issues we are dealing with. my mom worked double shifts for 15 years and was NEVER home. I grew up as a very wild uncontrolled child. I got myself into trouble and put myself in bad situations and when I was 15 I was raped by 2 guys while my mom was at work. She beat herself up for years over it, thinking if she had been there it never would have happened. I told her that the wisdom and knowlegde she gave me in 5 minutes was worth more than a lifetime of just being home. I should have followed my conscious and listened to her when she said stay home. She had to put food on the tables for me and now you have to keep yourself well for your child. Take care

                kenzy

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