Clutter driving me crazy!!

[sharon429]

I'm feeling tremendously overwhelmed with all the mess and clutter I have in my house. I don't know if its my hormones with this pregnancy or what but I feel like I can't handle this constant mess. I have a fairly small house, with four kids and only two bedrooms. They have so much crap and don't take care of anything!!! Its really getting to me and my husband doesn't seem fazed at all.
The kids don't know how to take care of anything. I sound like a raving lunitic screaming every day to clean stuff up. They do but it just is totally out of hand. I walk from room to room getting really depressed because I have nothing nice, then I walk outside and there's toys everywhere out there too!!!
I got rid of a lot of stuff before Christmas and there's still too much stuff. There's no room to put those bin type things and we already have three toy boxes. Some days I can overlook the mess but lately I feel like I'm overwhelmed and I'm not getting anywhere with my cleaning and picking up.
I'm trying so hard to keep the house clean and it always looks disgusting!! Sorry I'm rambling - I just can't take it anymore. I see some of my friends houses and I can't understand how they keep it so clean.
It's not just toys either - its magazines out on the porch, boxes of stuff we don't need and all of this stupid electronic stuff my husband has to have for who knows what!!! My husband just painted the kitchen and it already looks terrible. It seems like when you have kids you just can't have anything nice. At least in my house - I can't. Does anybody else feel like me or am I just losing it.


Sharon

[felineperson3]

Sharon,
This is just a suggestion. You might go to this internet site: flylady.net
This site offers help on decluttering and becoming organized. You'll also realize you are not alone in your dilemma. I am older and raised four children so I realize the chaos involved at times. Hang in there and take care.
It will all work out!

[kenzycodi]

Sharon,

I know how you feel but I think right now you need to try to relax. When I was first diagnosed with IC and for the first few flares I was so depressed and on edge that everything and anything threw me into a rage. I think you are just stressed. Look around you have a husband, 4 kids, another on the way if I have it right and IC. That's more than I could handle. Take things one day at a time and don't worry about the mess. Cool off, relax, and conserve some energy. We all have our breaking points but you have to be strong. God bless!

Kenzy

[sharon429]

Thanks Carley and Kenzy for your advise. Today I really have calmed down. The kids went off to school and I really got a lot of stuff done. Not only were they home all week but my the transmission went on my van ($2,334) I had to drive my husband to work at 5:30 in the morning for two weeks with all the kids and terrible morning sickness, and I had my mothers surprise seventy birthday party (at a restaurant). So, I think everything just piled up on me and I really was beating myself up.
This week I'm going to try and relax more. I'm looking forward to my first Ultrasound appointment on Wednesday. I'm going to try and do a little bit day to day. It just seems like that all my time is spent doing laundry and dishes. The little extra time I have I spend with the kids so there's not much time to get to the big messes, like the basement etc....
Anyway, thanks again. That flylady sight is really interesting. I didn't have time to read the whole thing - there's a lot of info.

Sharon

[Michelle in KC]

I feel the SAME WAY! It's not just hormones. Sometimes you just have HAD IT!!! Here's my suggestion... THROW IT AWAY!!! I have started doing this and I feel so much better. I filled a whole trash bag just out of my "CRAP" pile in the corner of the living room. And, this was just papers that I 'needed' for one thing or another. I am planning on dogn this in thekids' room and also in my bedroom. We have 4 of us in a 2 BR apt and EVERY closet is packed to the point of exploding. We have 5 toy boxes, and only 2 kids. Pretty pathetic, huh? It'll get better. Just throw it out. Good Luck, Michelle.

[Teri]

I'm working on the rule "If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out". Well, it's killing me but I am doing my best. I feel like if I can't clean up the clutter inside of me, the only clutter I can control is my home enviroment.

I was one of those full time mommy's who counted to 3 and then what ever the threat was was carried out. I remember throwing many mnay toys away but I didn't have to count to 3 very many times When I had to go to work they were movin' ALOT faster cuz they knew that my fuse was very very short!

As much as I miss it, I wouldn't want it back even for a week eek eek eek

[sharon429]

I totally agree about not being able to clean the clutter inside of myself and thats why I think all of the clutter in the house bothers me so much. I friend of mine said that- you feel like you have lost control when the house gets that bad.
The thing about throwing things out is that everytime I try to do it my kids cry hysterically. I feel really guilty throwing stuff out when there not looking. My oldest daughter(age 8) the other night was sitting up crying in bed. When I asked her what was wrong she said that she was just looking at her surrounding toys in her room and it made her so sad and upset that maybe one day she wouldn't have these things or that they would be gone. I told her not to worry - but I felt so bad!
Every year before Christmas they throw out a whole bunch of stuff but it doesn't really help. Sometimes they do before a Birthday too but like I said it doesn't make much of a difference. They have so many "keepsake" things that I really have nowhere to put them.

Sharon

[tigger_gal]

i'm with teri if i haven't used it trash it if it don't fit give it a away if they don't clean there mess uuummmm lets skip that one... I am sssssoooooo upset my home is upside down and i wish "THEY" would pck up after themselves ggggggrrr
well all get it together eventually
brat

[Susan2]

Hi Sharon,
I read your letter, and I could have written it 36 yrs., ago... honey, don't take this the wrong way, but just try and enjoy every minute with your children, and don't worry about all that clutter, they are all going to be gone before you know it. I look back on my life, and oh how I wish I had taken more time, playing with my son, than I did with a dust rag. I have 2 grandchildren ,and when they come, I ENJOY them and clean after they leave. My son said he would have been killed for some of the things I let my grandchildren get away with! HA!!! (just kidding)
I really do enjoy them.Honey, that clutter will wait on you, so just do the best you can, and don't worry so much. OKay?? I really do know how you feel.
HUGS AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN
SUSAN

[pineland]

Oh I hear ya! I have to second the www.flylady.net . Flylady is great! She has changed my whole outlook so much! It's all in babysteps as she says and keeping some kind of a schedule. I'm a long ways from being totally converted, but I'm working on it, even the little bit I've learned and done has helped so much. Join the email reminder list there, it's overwhelming at first, but just delete and read what you can.

Hang in there!
Darcy

[sanctuary]

I know just how you feel, when I have clutter ,my own "sense of order" is lost and it reflects how I feel inside,,I think our homes are a reflection of who we are and how we feel...so look at the mess a different way.. When I realised I had two choises, live w/it, or let it get me down,,I realised it will wait until I feel better. It took some time but..with time I trained myself to not think about the disorder and think of myself FIRST..We have so little control over this IC and cleaning the house makes me think I can control over at least that..in my mind LOL sanctuary

[ICNDonna]

I used to think having a spotless house was the only way to go! Then one day I realized that I had no time for anything else, including time with my children --- so I eased off a lot. Now I'm ten years behind on my ironing, have clean clothes to be put away and the dinner dishes are being left in the sink until morning --- and it doesn't bother me one bit!

My children are grown now and their best memories aren't a spotless house, but the things we did together. My oldest boy says one of his fondest memories is "wearing shirts warm from the iron."

Donna