terrible mom sometimes

[Solfish]

There are times when I feel like my kids are getting ripped off. I have 13 and 8 year old daughters, and they must wonder what the hell has happened to their mother...Grumpy, tired, sometimes non existent. I try so hard to be the "good mom" I used to be but I really have to struggle. I can't even drive anymore, so I have lost the functionalness as a taxi driver to my 13 year old...my 8 year old has become quite tempered. Part of it is my father in law lives with us and he has taken on some parenting. He is a very lax parent and she gets away with murder because there isn't a very strong line drawn in the sand for her. My husband works alot now because he tries to make up the difference in my salary loss (I[m on disability) but well....he's not around much to discipline.

How do you guys deal with all the issues of parenting when you have so much pain? (and fatique? and altered state from medication? )

gotta go.....

peace: jester Tracey

[jaime15]

Tracey,
We are our hardest critic. It's bad enough on us, I know. When kids are in the picture, well....I can't say this would help your older children, but I read alot of books in bed with my son. (2 years old in Jan.)
I don't know what it'll be like when he's older. But I'm trying to teach him now to be gentle with Mommy.
We're here for you. You're not at all a terrible mother. Those are the ones who don't feed their kids, you know all the mom stuff you just know to do.
You have your motherly abilities when you are affectionate with those you love.
Am I rambling??
You get the pic, right?
You are there for them when they get home. That's important. K~?
Hang on, you can come here anytime for support. Hope I helped in some way... kissing

[ICNJess]

Hi Tracey--

I can't help you, as I am not a parent, but I just wanted to say that I'm sure you aren't a terrible mom. You are doing the best you can do with such a horrible disease. I'm not the one to be giving advice in this area, but have you tried sitting down with them and talking candidly about IC?

Hugs and luck!
Jess

[Katrina]

grouphug grouphug grouphug

[ICNDonna]

I used to worry a lot about what my disease was doing to my children. They are all adults now and what happened to them, at least partially because of my illness, is that they are compassionate, caring adults. My youngest son's wife has migraines and she can't get over how totally patient and caring he is.

Warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[Solfish]

Thanks all..I wish I could skip the daytime meds...as suggested...Unfortunately the anithistimines hang on to me most of the day (Yes..I take them like at 7:00PM and they still do that to me...Benadryl...any antihistimine goofs me up worse than any other drug on the market...or off!) And my pain has to be kept at a medium level, at least.. the MS contin I take has to be taken every 12 hours.

You're right...I'm not terrible, It is just not how I pictured my parenting to be. "Ok kids...fend for yourselves...Y'all know where the cheerios are.." The older one has figured out that I'm not really looking at her when she asks if her makeup looks beautiful on her...(WHAT? if I say no, She'll break down into a nervous quivering heap of snot saying that I think she's ugly...so I always just say yes...I only raise a complaint if too much skin or too much clown is showing)

Anyway...Off to the Uro today. why is it I feel like I'm seeing the King today? (Actually, Queen...It's a GIRL uro....Yippeeeeeee...and she's young....well...'bout my age...at least not some old man with gnarled cold fingers telling me I'm fine) Gosh...I never get to get out...Feel like I should get dressed up but what's the point? I'll be hearing "disrobe from the waist down" soon after getting there. Sigh...

Thanks all,....I feel better......I will read somemore with my 8 year old. Believe it or not , my hubs and I are both teachers. He a TAG teacher, me in special ed. I desperately miss my job, miss my kiddos, my staff. I would like to go back but my doc is starting to talk to me about taking the rest of the school year off. (geez...it's only november) and knows a lawyer he'd just have me call tohandle social security, that would supplement my disability.

Argh...I'm bouncing all over
Goodbye

Peace: Solfish

[Zookeeper]

Solfish HANG IN THERE GIRL!!
Things aren't really as they appear to us,I think everyone who has been in pain for any length of time fells this way.

I too have been where you are now.maybe you could try & sit them down and tell them how you fell about this,stress how it hurts you more then it does them.Let them know you wish you could do more but your pain wont let you and there is nothing you can do about it.let them know you love no matter what.

I have had alot of bad pain days all my life before I got disabled so my child went threw it with me.I only have one daughter and had have had this talk with her more then once.She is 18 now and we have a great relationship now.

I know we shouldn't have to do this but I know love needs to be reminded once in awhile.So don't take it out on yourself.Your to good for that!Your a great Mom and don't forget it!
Your kid's know you love them.
grouphug angel grouphug
Take care & God bless
Love, Zookeeper Kim