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Keep Having Sex?

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  • Keep Having Sex?

    Hi everyone,

    I just wanted to share with you what I did to treat my vulvar vestibulitis/vulvodynia. I have been having pain localized to the vaginal opening since the summer of 2006. It caused a lot of emotional distress because I was worried that I would never be able to have sex without feeling pain. Before meeting my current boyfriend (in June 2008), I had only had sex three times because of the pain. When I finally had sex with my boyfriend, it was still extremely painful. We had vaginal sex sporadically for the first two years of our relationship, and it each time, I ended up in tears. Since I've always had a high sex drive, it made me lose so much confidence in myself and my abilities.

    Well, in March of 2010, I began taking birth control pills (mainly to treat my endometriosis). We tried having sex without a condom for the first time, and I noticed it felt slightly better because (for me anyway) condoms cause more friction and thus more pain. It was still painful to have sex, but I bit the bullet and did it anyway. Every time we saw each other, about once a week, we had vaginal sex. Eventually, over the course of six months or so, the pain became insignificant. I no longer anticipated severe pain upon insertion. There was some pain due to the friction, but it was MUCH LESS!

    It's even better now. I don't even think about this pain anymore or recognize it as a problem. The only effects remaining are that occasionally, after he pulls out, I'll be left with pain down there for about 10 minutes, and sometimes he can't go on for too long or I'll start feeling pain due to the friction. But, aside from these things, there's really no more problem, and we don't even use lube. When I touch the vaginal opening with my fingers, I no longer experience a knee-jerk, extremely painful reaction.

    I know that some people have more severe symptoms and feel pain in other areas besides just the opening. But for those who only feel pain at the vaginal opening, this might be a good solution for you. I was worried that I'd need to get surgery to remove my vestibule, but I definitely don't see that as an option anymore. You have to have the willpower to have sex with pain there (and preferably without a condom), but I think it can be done!

    Any thoughts on this fairly unorthodox treatment option for vulvar vestibulitis?

  • #2
    Most people with IC and/or VV find that using lots of lubricant does help. Thanks for sharing your success.

    Stay safe

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    • #3
      Wow, how wonderful that your pain subsided! It is what we VV sufferers all hope for. This is yet another example about how everyone’s body is different. Lots of women (myself included), if they keep having painful sex, end up with chronic pelvic floor muscle hypertonicity/spasms due to constant guarding because of the pain. The muscle spasms make sex even more painful, which creates a vicious cycle. I do think gradual desensitization can be helpful- which is part of the idea of working with dilators. Anyway, as I said everyone is different. VV is a very distressing condition and any bit of experience/advice helps! Thanks!