I really am stupid

[countrygal55]

I found out today why October of last year I could no longer get in with my Uro for the heparin installations. It had ALWAYS been with him but few years ago the place was bought out and then it was a fight to have it done with him but they started saying excuses and he's booked out blah blah. Last summer it was done by the nurses a few times but they make it worse and it only helps if he does it. In October I finally said no more heparin with nurses only him and they said sorry but it won't happen with him because it was booked out to far. I got a letter today saying he is retiring end of this month. I have an appointment with him in the fall which I will be calling to cancel because I'm not seeing another urologist ever again. Nothing they can do for me and I'm never go back there if he isn't there. It would have been 24 years in August I have been going to see him. Thinking him and nurses were friends all those years and in the end I'm no different then any other patient. I had a whole retirement thing planned for this day and it isn't going to happen. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought it would end this way but then everyone leaves me suddenly. I get attached and bam! They're gone. This is the last doctor I will have a long "relationship" with. My other doctor retired but I was told ahead of time so I did a retirement thing for him. I feel so stupid and so let down. This is why I've learned to stay to myself. Don't get attached...don't depend on anyone. I feel sick to my stomach
Back in April I suddenly lost a very very close relative and was never expecting them to die and now this feels the same. Things have been bad since 2020. I've lost so many and pets too and nothing will be the same ever again.

[ICNDonna]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It seems like the older we get, the more we have to accept changes --- the urologist I had for thirty years retired --- then the one I chose after that --- retired! The good thing is that the replacement in the same office is okay too.

[countrygal55]

It isn't the fact he is retiring. I knew it would happen at one point. My other doctor of 11 years retired but he told me long before he announced it to the public. He was the head doctor at the hospital too. It was sad but it ended well. It is what happened last year out of the blue. In the beginning of the heparin installations there were 2 nurses who took turns doing it. They both made the pain and peeing afterwards awful. With my follow up with the doctor I asked him to do it. If he had said no, then I was stopping the heparin. He said yes and he was fine doing it allllll those years. For at least 20 years. I went so often I knew where everything was and the routine. After it was done, and I got dressed I would tear the paper off the table and clean it and if they spilled some on the floor and didn't clean it up before they left the room so I could get dressed I would clean it. When I went to use the bathroom ahead of time and the patient before me made a mess, I would clean it. The joke was I could work there too. No other patient did any of that and why?? Because I cared and wanted to help what I could since the insurance didn't pay him full amount. All was fine until last summer. I saw him and he left the room like normal. Later on, I get a call the nurse telling mr that they would be doing the installations from now on and I told her it has to be him. She said he has other patients that need him and I don't because it's done the same by everyone. I told her it isn't true. I've tried every nurse (over times the nurses kept trying to make it so they only did it) and the NP and none were like him. She said it's the nurse or nothing. I told her then I guess nothing. She said they would miss me. Like right, won't miss me enough I guess. I couldn't figure out why and what suddenly happened until I got that letter in the mail this week saying he was retiring. Now I know. He could have at least told me face to face last summer. I had a once a year appointment with him in the fall but that won't be happening so I called and canceled it. I'm not going back and I'm done with urologists. Plus all that is left is the NP. No urologist there now. Nothing they can do for me and he was the only one in the city. The rest are out of the city and I'm not driving it. My biggest mistake was thinking all those years of going once a week and talking/laughing about everything and anything that we were all sort of friends. I was just a job and nothing more. I should have done like all the other patients and let them clean up the mess. I never saw it ending this way. I do know I won't do it ever again. Everything will kept as a job and nothing more.

[countrygal55]

I have decided to get my medical records from this doctor and the other one and see if I was being fooled by both all these years. Then maybe I will find out why suddenly I was pushed away. Might not want to read what I find out but that way I will know for sure.